Noobs & the Whovian

This is the one where the Doctor tells a story to Clara about Clara in which he saves Clara and then forgets who Clara is.

This is the one where the Doctor and Clara oh wait… just the doctor, Fight an evil ghost thing for like 4.5 billion years. Oh and he thinks it's his Christmas gift.

This is the one where the Doctor and Clara kind of solve a murder mystery and don’t fight a quantum raven.

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet with sentient carnivorous eye boogers: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.

Welcome to Episode 136, covering series 9 episode 9: Sleep No More 

Production notes

* Story #259* Originally aired November 14, 2015 to 5.61 million viewers* Written by: Mark Gatiss* This is his first Who story set in the future* Directed by: Justin Molotnikov

Cast

* 474 – Bethany Black* First openly transgender in Doctor Who* In her role in Russell T. Davies’ show Banana, she was the first trans actor to play a lead character who was trans

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Creature of the week* The Sandmen* They are literally made of your eye boogers, I mean… sleep dust.* Sentient eye goomlies* Adventures in closed captioning!* King Sandman

Other stuff we noticed

* I love the found-footage approach they took here* The shift from helmet cam to Clara-cam was subtle and awesome* Tripp pointed out that it’s color when it’s a person’s perspective, but black and white when it’s a CCTV viewpoint* Have you brought me to a space-restaurant* The Doctor says people don’t put “space” in front of something just because it’s all high tech and futurey. It’s not space-champagne, and space-hats.”* Space pirates!* What does Tuesday taste like?!* He was able to tell it was the 38th Century based on wind, and a Tuesday based on taste* It’s also after the Great Catastrophe* It’s like this is all for effect. Like a story.* Corbin: Has he become self-aware?!

Who’s Who?

* Who is Clara?* Morpheus, named after the god of dreams? Oh yeeeaaaah, not just this *gestures to face*.* Who is the Doctor?* Hold my hand. I’m ok. I’m not.* He sleeps when she’s not looking.* This is actually a fourth-wall gag because he’s looking at Clara when he says “when you’re not looking” but because of the camera perspective, he’s also saying it to us at the same time* Do I look like I’m kidding? Is this a kidding face?* You have no authority. No, but I’m in charge.* Humans, greedy, filthy, stupid humans* You don’t get to name things. I’m the Doctor, I name things.

Can we talk about the ending?

* My exact reaction when the credits came up: Umm…. what?* The implications* The doctor was right about them being evolved eye boogers* The human race is doomed* This transmission can broadcast the same signals that the sleep pod can

Classic Who Connections 

* In‌ ‌the‌ ‌serial‌ ‌‌The‌ ‌Horror‌ ‌of‌ ‌Fang‌ ‌Rock‌‌ ‌the‌ ‌Fourth‌ ‌Doctor‌ ‌came‌ ‌up‌ ‌against‌ ‌anti-gravity‌ ‌shielding.‌ He‌ ‌amplified‌ ‌a‌ ‌carbon‌ ‌oscillator‌ ‌which‌ ‌locked‌ ‌onto‌ ‌the‌ ‌carbon‌ ‌resonator‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌Rutan‌ ‌Mothership‌ ‌(via‌ ‌the‌ ‌crystalized‌ ‌carbon)‌ ‌and‌ ‌knocked‌ ‌out‌ ‌the‌ ‌anti-gravity‌ ‌* There‌ ‌was‌ ‌a‌ ‌suggestion‌ ‌that‌ ‌they‌ ‌space‌ ‌station‌ ‌could‌ ‌be‌ ‌attacked‌ ‌by‌ ‌space‌ ‌pirates.‌ ‌The‌ ‌Second‌ Doctor‌ ‌encountered‌ ‌space‌ ‌pirates‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌serial‌ ‌‌The‌ ‌Space‌ ‌Pirates‌ ‌* In‌ ‌‌Frontios‌‌ ‌the‌ ‌Fifth‌ ‌Doctor‌ ‌started‌ ‌talking‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌Great‌ ‌Catastrophe,

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet that are secretly blobby aliens: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.

Welcome to Episode 135, covering series 9 episodes 7 & 8: The Zygon Invasion and The Zygon Inversion.

Production notes

* Story #258* Originally aired October 31 & November 7, 2015 to 5.76 & 6.03 million viewers* Written by: Peter Harness & Steven Mofatt* Directed by: Daniel Nettheim

Cast

* Osgood – Ingrid Oliver* Played in the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels reboot, The Hustle with Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Creature of the week* Zygons* Osgoods – they were both human and Zygon simultaneously* Jiggery Pokery* TARDIS * Totally And Radically Driving In Space* Sonic* Sonic specs? Isn’t that a bit pointless, like a visual hearing aid?* What’s wrong with pointless? I once invented an invisible watch. Spot the design flaw.* Setting 137* Psychic paper* Random * Jibberty Jabberty* It’s a control computer. You operate it by titivating the frons

Other stuff we noticed 

* The UNIT safe house had a painting of One on the stairwell* He left us with an impossible situation. Yes I know, it’s called “peace.”* The Black Archive had a Mire helmet* Thinking is just a fancy word for changing your mind. I’m not changing my mind. Then you will die stupid!* You can tell this was small when erasing the memories of like 3 people makes it as if it never happened* The buttons said truth or consequences

Who’s Who?

* Who is Clara?* She’s either on the tube or in outer space!* She’s Bonnie! * If she’s got the ponytail, she’s Bonnie* That’s the mind of Clara Oswald, she might never get out.* She’s a baller. She’s casually sitting on the couch reading a paper that ONLY HAS GIBBERISH ON IT… and Bonnie CAN’T SEE HER!* Who is the Doctor?* Doctor Disco? Doctor Funkenstein? Dr. John Disco? Dr. Puntastic?* Planet!* He’s got question mark underpants* My name is… well… you can call me the Doctor.* He speaks nonsense to distract companions from the danger* His smile is dazzling* He’s spend a lot of time in London getting kidnapped, shot at, and exterminated, doesn’t mean I like it.* Why does peacekeeping always involve killing* Clara being dead for five minutes was the longest month of his life. * He’ll be the judge of time

Can we talk about the interrogation

* Why did Bonnie have to interrogate Clara?

Can we talk about Osgood?

* Who is Osgood?* She is amazing!* The question marks are an interesting touch. She already had the scarf.* You want to know what I am. I am the peace. Human and Zygon.* Like a hybrid?* The age-old debate: Is she a companion?* Her first name is Petronella* The Doctor’s first name is definitely NOT Basil* She needs to guard a couple of boxes, and a world to keep safe* So, which Osgood was killed by Missy? * I’m going to argue that it was the Zygon Osgood for two main reasons* The Doctor said he knew she was the human Osgood because if the human Osgood had died the Zygon Osgood wouldn’t have been able to hold the f...

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet interacting with it’s own past: Noobs and the Whovian.

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t. Except when we don’t, because this week we won’t!

Welcome to episode 134, Timey Wimey #14 – Interstellar 

This is the one where Matthew McConaughey films the saddest Lincoln commercial ever.

But for real this is the one Matthew McConauham and Catwoman save the human race by traveling through time and space.

Who’s responsible for this?! (Production Notes)

* Director – Christopher Nolan * Memento, Inception, The Prestige, Dark Knight Trilogy, Tenet* He likes telling stories in the wrong order… a lot* Writers – Jonathan & Christopher Nolan* Jonathan also worked on Memento, The Prestige, & Dark Knight Rises

Where do I know that guy from? (Cast)

* Coop – Matthew McConaughey* This movie gave us the saddest Lincoln commercial ever* Nolan likes to reuse his actors!* Professor Dr. Brand – Michael Caine* Alfred* Professor in Inception* Other Dr. Brand – Anne Hathaway* Catwoman* Princess Diaries* Romilly – David Gyasi* Played skinny prisoner in Dark Knight Rises

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Wait, what happened?! (Plot)

* Plot holes (Corbin has feelings)* Typical non-linear story-telling of Nolan, it starts out with Murph as an old woman telling the story of her dad.

What have we learned today? (Themes)

* Murphy’s law – anything that can go wrong, will* Coop says “anything COULD happen”* I can’t be your ghost right now. I need to exist. They chose me, you’re the one who showed them to me.* It was you, you were my ghost.* Wait, what? How’d she come to that conclusion* Do not go gentle…* Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.* What’s love got to do with it?!* 90 minutes into this very science-based story, all of sudden the answer is love?* The needs of the many – it got loud here!* Dr. Mann – this is not about my life, or Cooper’s life. This is about all mankind. There is a momentBOOOOOM!

Is that how that works?!

* Time dilation* Sending information out of the black hole

Random stuff we noticed

* “The moon landing was faked” is now the official position of US government* When is this movie taking place?* https://interstellarfilm.fandom.com/ says April 15th, 2067* The lines in the dust didn’t seem to be long enough to give lat-long coordinates in binary* They rely on CB radio instead of cellphones* Is there a single cellphone in the movie?* Corbin – Coop kept wearing his wedding ring after his wife died* A giant sarcastic robot, what a great idea.* But it’s at 90% honesty* What’s your trust level at, TARS? Lower than your, apparently.* Humor setting 75%. Confirmed. Self-destruct in 10, 9… make that 60%* What you thought it would be just a hole?* Miller’s planet – 1 hour = 7 years* 23 years, 4 months, 8 days = 8,529 days = 3 hours 20 minutes* Lots of questions onlin...

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet that MIGHT be contagious: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.

Welcome to Episode 133, covering series 8 episodes 6: The Woman Who Lived

This is the one where the Doctor and not Clara, but actually Lady Me fight space lions and talk about immortality. A lot.

Production notes

* Story #257* Originally aired October 24 2015 to 6.11 million viewers* Written by: Catherine Tregenna* Directed by: Ed Bazalgette

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Creature of the week* Leandro* Leo + andros, literally “lion-man”! Someone actually said that at the gallows* Jiggery Pokery* TARDIS * Sonic* Psychic paper* It was a pardon for Sam Swift* Random * Curioscanner – it scans for curios, I just realized how it got it’s name.* Adventures in closed captioning!* The Doctor said “Of course!” but the CC said “Oh, sh*t!”

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Other stuff we noticed 

* Purple is the color of death, but yellow is the light of immortality?

Who’s Who?

* Who is Ashildr?* Who IS Ashildr? She doesn’t remember that name, or the village.* The trouble of an infinite life and a normal-sized memory… * 800 years and she’s forgotten most of it* Would this be the way it is?* Every other name died with whoever knew me. I’m just Me. Singular. Unattached. My own companion.* On a companion-lite episode!* 10,000 hours is all you need to be an expert, 100,000 and you’re the best there’s ever been. * I don’t have to be indestructible, I’m superb!* She was a wife, daughter, and mother. She was a soldier, a queen, now a master thief* You didn’t save my life, you trapped me in it!* The patron saint of the Doctor’s leftovers.* Who is the Doctor?* No puns and no banter* You’ve got your dad as your sidekick?* Why wouldn’t he take her with him?! Of all people, he should have had sympathy on her.* I just want you to attack first, then my conscience is clear.* He’s so used to leaving behind companions knowing that they will blow away like smoke. But she endured, for centuries* People like us, we go on too long. The last thing we need is each other. We need the mayflies.* Are you going to stop traveling with me because I said a thing?

Classic Who Connections 

* The Doctor mentioned to Me that The Great Fire of London was coming, and she responded that perhaps she starts it, but he corrects her that it was started by the Terileptils, in reference to the serial The Visitation with the Fifth Doctor.* According to history books the Great Fire of London was in the year 1666 and began in a bakery on Pudding Lane. * It raged for 5 days destroying and estimated 70,000 Londoners out of a total of 80,000 * Most blame the severity of the fire on the Lord Mayor of London at the time Sir Thomas Bloodworth who hesitated to allow buildings to be destroyed as firebreaks (a very common method of firefighting at the time) and by the time he acted, strong winds swept through the city spreading the fire out of control.* In The Visitation the fire is started when the Fifth Docto...

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet whose hosts sound like they’ve been sick for two weeks: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.

Welcome to Episode 132, covering series 8 episodes 5: The Girl Who Died

This is the one where the Doctor and Clara fight space vikings with electric eels and puppets. And the Doctor realizes who frowned him his face. 

Production notes

* Story #256* Originally aired October 17 2015 to 6.56 million viewers* Written by: Jamie Mathieson & Steven Moffat* Directed by: Ed Bazalgette

Cast

* Ashildr – Maisie Williams – Arya Stark in Game of Thrones

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Creature of the week* The Mire* Space vikiiiiiiings!* Jiggery Pokery* TARDIS * Why couldn’t he just call the TARDIS?* Sonic* Still works even though it was broke in half

Other stuff we noticed 

* People talk about premonition as though it’s something strange. It’s not, it’s just remembering in the wrong direction.* What is a god but the cattles name for farmer? What is heaven but the gilded door of the abattoir?

Who’s Who?

* Who is Clara?* Silence is even worse in a Scottish accent* Who is the Doctor?* I’m not actually the police, it’s just what it says on the box* It’s ok to make ripples, but not tidal waves. You ARE a tidal wave.* I like a good view, can’t wait for the next.* He’s tired of losing people* He knows why he chose this face. To remind him, to hold him to the mark. He’s the Doctor, and he saves people.

Classic Who Connections 

* The Yo-yo. The Fourth Doctor produced a yo-yo at least a couple of times. Once when ordered to empty his pockets by Davros’s security detail in Genesis of the Daleks and again in The Ark in Space when he used it to test the gravity. As we pointed out in Kill the Moon, they found a very similar if not the same yo-yo for the Twelfth Doctor to use.* The Second Doctor also had a diary, called the 500 Year Diary, as seen in The Power of the Daleks and the Seventh Doctor was seen with a 900 Year Diary in Doctor Who.* Once again, we have a repeat of a Third Doctor catchphrase “reverse the polarity of the neutron flow” when the Doctor is adjusting a Mire helmet* The Seventh Doctor also says “time will tell, it always does” in Remembrance of the Daleks.* The Second Doctor said that Time Lords are immortal “barring accidents” in The War Games, which is what he said about Ashildr

Overall impressions

* Overall rating out of 10 – * Jared – 8 Monty Python allusions of God talking from the clouds* Austin – 6 sonic eye patches* Corbin – 7 weird fish things* Tripp – 7.5 I know who frowned me this face* Creep Level – out of 500* Jared – 100 creep levels for the Mire with their helmets off* Austin – 200* Corbin – 75* Tripp – 120

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet committed to watching 4 hours of Doctor Who this week: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

Welcome to Episode 131, covering series 8 episode 3 and 4: Under The Lake and Before The Flood.

This is the one where the Doctor and Clara fight space ghosts while underwater and don’t actually create a bootstrap paradox.

Production notes

* Story #255* Originally aired October 3 & 10, 2015 to 5.63 & 6.05 million viewers * Written by: Toby Whithouse* Directed by: Daniel O’Hara

Misc Trivia

* First episode since The Unicorn and the Wasp (Series 4, 2008!) to not feature the sonic screwdriver

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Yep, on a technicality* Creature of the week* Ghosts* A splinter of time and skin but unnatural* Fisher King* Amazing costume* Jiggery Pokery* TARDIS * She ain’t happy* It didn’t translate the glyphs on the ship* She wouldn’t let him go back* Security Protocol 712, the echelon circuit has been activated* Psychic paper* Did it actually just tell the truth for once by saying he was from UNIT?* Needless sacrificial death* The leader who knocked the girl out of the way of the engine

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Other stuff we noticed 

* Tivoli!* He took apart the TARDIS radio and built a clockwork squirrel* A future ruled by cats? So the Sisterhood of Plenitude eventually take over the universe?!* One of the cracks in the dam was The Crack!* Time travel movie trope

Who’s Who?

* Who is Clara?* Die with whoever comes after me but don’t leave me!* Did traveling with the Doctor change you, or were you always willing to put other people at risk? He taught me to do what had to be done.* Who is the Doctor?* You’re itching to save a planet, admit it.* He doesn’t do hugs, but he also doesn’t do high fives apparently* His knowledge of sign language got deleted to make room for semaphore * His cards are hilarious* He has a duty of care* My God. Every time I think it can’t get more extraordinary, it surprises me. It’s impossible, it’s evil, it’s astonishing. I want to kiss it to death.* You’re gonna go back in time. How do you do that? Very well.* This regeneration was a bit of a clerical error anyway.* I’ve always been an admirer! Finally someone worth talking to!

Can we talk about how this felt like two different episodes?

* Bootstrap paradoxes

Classic Who Connections 

* Sarah Jane Smith’s last serial as the Fourth Doctor’s companion was The Hand of Fear. When the Doctor drops her off in South Croydon so she can return home she walks away as the TARDIS dematerializes. Only then does she realize she’s not in Croydon. In School Reunion it is revealed that he actually dropped her off in Aberdeen. One of the Doctor’s apology cards apologizes for dropping someone off in Aberdeen. Another card is a scripted apology for an attack by the Cybermen or Daleks* Autons are mentioned* The Fisher King says Time Lords are “cowardly, vain curators who suddenly remembered they had teeth and became the most war-like race in the galaxy.” This covers the change in Time Lord nature from Classic Who to New Who.

Overall impressions

* Overall rating out of 10 – * Jared – 7 Doctors leaving their companions behind* Au...

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet whose name becomes less accurate with each episode: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.

Welcome to Episode 130, covering series 8 episode 1 and 2: The Magician’s Apprentice & The Witch’s Familiar

This is the one where the Doctor, Clara, & Missy go to Skaro to meet with Davros! And Clara gets turned into a Dalek… again.

Production notes

* Story #254* Originally aired September 19 and September 26 2015 to 6.54 and 5.71 million viewers * Written by: Steven Moffat* Directed by: Hettie MacDonald who did Blink back in the day, and that’s it!

Misc Trivia

* Fun fact: Peter Capaldi actually shreds. He plays that guitar for real.* This is the first story set on Skaro since 1979’s Destiny of the Daleks

Checklist

* Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?* Creature of the week* The Daleks* They need her to run, they are toying with her. * Is that why they suck so bad at killing?* They can’t die? They are hard-wired not to die, but keep on going no matter what happens. But they still age.* Cybermen suppress emotion. Daleks channel it through a gun. That’s why they keep yelling Exterminate, it’s how they reload.* Davros* Davros was a child of war, a war that wouldn’t stop. Lasting for a thousand years until nobody could remember why anymore.* He created the Daleks as warriors that wouldn’t bother with the why.* For Davros, the Time War is still going…* Wait, he has eyes?!* Jiggery Pokery* TARDIS * HADS* Sonic* He doesn’t have a screwdriver anymore* Now he’s all about wearable technology!

Other stuff we noticed 

* The Maldovarium – Dorium Maldovar* The Doctor’s guitar amp was by Magpie* Anyone for dodgems? Dalek bumper cars!* Your sewers are revolting

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Who’s Who?

* Who is Missy?* Death is for other people, dear.* She’s his closest friend. Clara is the puppy.* Their trying to kill each other is like their texting.* She has NOT turned good.* Traps are her flirting* She might be even crazier than Sims’ Master.* She had a daughter – is this the first we’ve heard of this?* I’m murdering a Dalek. I’m a Time Lady, it’s like our golf.* That’s why I gave her to you: to see the enemy inside the friend, the friend inside the enemy. We’re all both.* Who is Clara?* She’s on speed dial for UNIT now?* When we first met her, she was actually stuck in a Dalek….* Who is the Doctor?* Who are you? I’m just a passer-by. I was looking for a book shop, how am I doing?* You have one chance in a thousand, but one is all you ever need. * He has a weakness. If you seek the Doctor, seek his friends.* Have you called him yet? We don’t know enough yet, he doesn’t like gossip.* I spent yesterday in a bowtie. The day before that in a long scarf. It’s my party and all of me is invited.* His “new face” is more like Davros’* Why have I ever let you live? Compassion, Doctor. It has always been your greatest indulgence.* Why does the Doctor always survive? He assumes he’s going to win!* There’s no such thing as the Doctor. I’m just a bloke in a box telling stories.

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Classic Who Connections