Not Actually Film Critics
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Not Actually Film Critics episodes

  • The Descent (2005): Subway Sandwiches, Uncorrupted Sports, and Grammar Wars

    This week on NAFC, the boys tackle the important questions in life, starting with their favorite Subway sandwiches. Gibbs also reveals that the WNBA might be the last sports league he can watch without worrying about corruption and whatever conspiracy has ruined the rest of sports for him.

    The gang then gets into a surprisingly heated grammatical debate over whether sports teams should be referred to in the singular or plural when using abbreviated names. Because apparently even talking about sports requires a rulebook.

    Mox also shares his thoughts on the new Madoka Magica Walpurgisnacht: Rising movie, before the crew kicks off their latest movie theme, Should've Been Scared by Now—films that might finally manage to scare a group of increasingly desensitized horror fans.

    First up is The Descent (2005), where six women head underground for a little recreational cave exploration and discover that getting lost in the dark might not be the worst thing waiting for them.

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    1 hr 45 min
  • Boiling Point (2021): Tactical Addictions, Anime Finales, and Public Flatulence

    This week on NAFC, Mox gets into his latest food adventures with rose noodles, while Izzy continues scratching his tactical squad itch with XCOM 2: War of the Chosen. He also catches up on a pile of anime season finales, including Young Ladies Don't Play Fighting Games, The Elusive Samurai, Sparks of Tomorrow, Mushoku Tensei, and Tensura.

    Meanwhile, Gibbs makes an important observation about old people apparently losing all shame when it comes to farting in public. Mox also shares his thoughts on Coyote vs. Acme and A Shop for Killers, giving the gang plenty to chew on before the main event.

    Finally, the boys dive into Boiling Point (2021) to close out the On the Menu theme. A relentlessly stressful night in a restaurant kitchen where everything that can go wrong does, and watching British people suffer somehow counts as entertainment.

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    1 hr 13 min
  • Big Night (1996): Resident Evil Spoilers, Fighting Games, and the Slur Economy

    This week on NAFC, Izzy jumps into XCOM 2: War of the Chosen for the first time, mostly to scratch the itch before Zero Company inevitably consumes his life. He also checks out Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games, an anime that loves Street Fighter so much the gang wonders where the show ends and the Capcom sponsorship begins.

    With Mid-Autumn Festival coming up, Mox and Izzy get into some Chinese food and traditions, while Gibbs has a more pressing cultural question: why the hell are there beans in everything? Gibbs also decides the existing supply of offensive language apparently isn’t enough and tries to contribute some original material to the growing “slur economy.”

    Then the gang dives into Big Night (1996), with food, culture, assimilation, and the struggle between making something authentic and making something people will actually buy.

    And after the main review, stick around for a spoiler discussion of the new Resident Evil movie.

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    1 hr 29 min
  • God of Cookery (1996): Medical Trauma, LA Traffic, and the Last Bastion of Gaming

    This week on NAFC, Mox checks back in on No Man’s Sky, while Izzy recounts being trapped for an hour listening to an extremely detailed play-by-play of a friend’s medical procedures following a go-kart accident. Some things you just don’t need described that thoroughly.

    Gibbs continues documenting the strange behavior of Los Angeles drivers, and the boys discuss why Steam increasingly feels like the last bastion for gamers who just want to buy and play games without being screwed over. Izzy and Gibbs also give their spoiler-free thoughts on the new Resident Evil movie.

    Finally, the gang dives into Stephen Chow’s God of Cookery (1996)—food, kung fu, absurd comedy, and another chance for Izzy to make his case for just how influential Stephen Chow’s style of comedy really is.

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    1 hr 27 min
  • Tampopo (1985): Ramen, Robots & Remembering 9/11

    The gang opens with a very serious debate over one of comedy’s great unanswered questions: Stephen Chow vs. Jim Carrey — who had the bigger comedic influence? Gibbs then brings us into the modern job market with a typing-test job application, before everyone looks back on where they were and what they remember from 9/11, 25 years later.

    Izzy reviews False Memory, the crew checks in on China’s increasingly ridiculous robot Olympics, and Mox gives his impressions of Macau. Then it’s time for this week’s main event: Juzo Itami’s Tampopo, the wonderfully strange 1985 “ramen western” about food, sex, obsession, etiquette, and the seemingly impossible pursuit of the perfect bowl of noodles.

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    1 hr 38 min
  • Bonus: Izzy's Late, Traffic Sucks, and the Slur Leaderboard

    No movie review this week because Izzy can't even show up on time. With an empty chair to fill, Gibbs and Mox do the responsible thing and spend the opening of the episode talking shit about him while he's gone.

    Gibbs brings yet more stories from his ongoing battle with Los Angeles traffic, before the boys take a look at some of the latest changes to the world map and try to keep track of what the hell is happening around the globe.

    Mox also discovers one of the stranger ways to analyze the Counter-Strike community: a leaderboard tracking which players are dropping the most slurs. Izzy eventually arrives, but by then the movie review is a lost cause. So, bonus episode it is.

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    1 hr 32 min
  • Kalki 2898 AD (2024): LA Drivers, Gas Station Weirdos, and Gamescom Hype

    This week on NAFC, Gibbs continues his ongoing battle with Los Angeles drivers before sharing a particularly strange encounter at a gas station.

    Izzy shows up late, but just in time for the important stuff: video games. The boys talk about NODUS: Fall and dig through some of the Gamescom trailers and announcements that actually managed to get them excited about what's coming next.

    Finally, the gang dives into Kalki 2898 AD (2024), the massive Indian sci-fi epic that throws Hindu mythology, dystopian futures, superhuman fights, giant sets, and a whole lot of CG onto the screen to see what sticks.

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    1 hr 48 min
  • Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025): Cultural Exports, Guitar Recitals, and Kingdom Hearts Regrets

    This week on NAFC, the gang talks about China's growing cultural exports through animation after Mox returns from All Wishes Come True, and what it might mean as more Chinese animation starts reaching audiences overseas.

    Izzy recounts the painful experience of sitting through a small guitar duo recital that left him wondering whether owning an expensive Gibson automatically qualifies you to perform in public. Meanwhile, Gibbs makes the mistake of going down the Kingdom Hearts lore rabbit hole and emerges wondering what the hell he just did with his time.

    The boys also get into job requirement inflation and how supposedly entry-level positions somehow started asking for years of experience.

    Finally, they dive into Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025)—a movie about two guys going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to accomplish something that probably shouldn't be this difficult in the first place.

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    1 hr 43 min
  • I Saw the TV Glow (2024): Blood Types, Mobile Game Traps, and Australian Japanese

    This week on NAFC, Izzy talks about his first blood donation, finally learning his blood type, and wondering why Americans generally aren't just told this information somewhere along the way.

    Then Izzy falls into yet another mobile game trap with Overgeared Hero, Mox checks out The End of Oak Street, and Gibbs works on the extremely useful skill of speaking Japanese with an Australian accent. The gang also finds out what happens when anime makes its way onto Jeopardy!.

    Finally, they dive into I Saw the TV Glow (2024)—a strange, nostalgic trip through late-night television, identity, obsession, and the feeling of getting way too emotionally invested in the shows you grew up with. A fittingly bonkers way to close things out.

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    1 hr 35 min
  • House (1977): Blood Money, Horn Honking, and Avatar Spoilers

    This week on NAFC, the boys catch up on their weeks before things immediately go sideways. Mox shares his thoughts on the new Spider-Man movie, Gibbs tries to understand why Los Angeles drivers would rather lay on the horn than move their cars, and Izzy explains how he’s basically “selling” his blood for Amazon gift cards at the local drive. Capitalism finds a way.

    The gang also gets into a full spoiler discussion of Avatar Aang, so consider yourself warned before listening.

    Finally, they dive into House—also known as Hausu—from 1977. A haunted-house movie packed with floating heads, murderous furniture, aggressive editing, and enough bizarre effects to make everyone question whether they watched a film or suffered a collective hallucination.

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    1 hr 50 min

About Not Actually Film Critics

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Not Actually Film Critics where not actual film critics critique actual films. Each week, join us as we talk about random stuff, watch movies together and review them. For every episode,…