Not As We Planned

Not As We Planned

By Tash Gershfield & Carly HarrisSociety & CultureRelationshipsParentingKids & Family
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  • Ranking

    26th

    on Parenting

  • Favorites

    95

    Followers

  • Typical duration

    44 min

    per episode

  • If it hooks

    67%

    finish an episode

Based on Podcast App listening data

Not As We Planned episodes

  • Rosie On Surviving Breast Cancer At 35 With Two Young Children

    At just 35 years old, with two young children and a daughter about to celebrate her first birthday, Rosie discovered a lump in her breast that would change her life forever. In this incredibly emotional episode, Rosie joins Tash and Carly to share her breast cancer journey, from receiving her diagnosis and undergoing 16 rounds of chemotherapy to losing her hair, having a double mastectomy and discovering she carried the BRCA1 gene mutation. She opens up about the heartbreaking reality of facing cancer as a young mum, the impact on her relationship, making life-changing decisions about her body and fertility, and the fear of her cancer returning that she still lives with today. We also discuss the importance of checking your breasts, recognising changes in your body and why being young and healthy doesn’t mean you’re immune. An honest, powerful conversation about motherhood, resilience and learning to appreciate life after everything changes.

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    1 hr 1 min
  • We Waited 23 Years To Get Married… He Cheated 3 Months Later

    Imagine spending 23 years with someone, raising three children together and finally getting married… only to discover he’s been talking to another woman just THREE MONTHS after your wedding. One listener thought she had the perfect life until she discovered weeks of phone calls between her 44-year-old husband and a 24-year-old woman. He insisted he was simply helping her through a breakup, but when she started digging, the truth began to unravel. He’d saved her number under her son’s name, sent intimate messages and told her he loved her. Now, just seven months into their marriage, she’s questioning whether she’ll ever be able to trust him again.


    We also hear from a woman who discovered her partner had been messaging sex workers while working away, only to later find he’d continued searching for them closer to home. After almost nine years together, a daughter and a mortgage, she feels financially trapped and terrified of breaking up her family. But things become even more complicated when the man she once considered the love of her life unexpectedly comes back into the picture. Is he a genuine second chance at happiness, or simply an escape from a relationship she no longer wants to be in?

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    45 min
  • I Found Out My Husband Had A 16-Year-Old Son I Knew NOTHING About

    Imagine receiving a letter and discovering your husband has a 16-year-old son you knew absolutely nothing about. One listener had spent years believing his version of how a previous relationship ended, only for a child-support letter to reveal the truth. Now she’s trying to process the fact that her husband kept an entire child secret from her, while working out how they eventually tell their own 10 and 8-year-old children that they have an older brother. And the biggest question is: after a lie this big, how do you ever trust someone again?


    We also hear from a gay listener who’s been secretly sleeping with his married straight male friend for the last year. What started as one drunken night has turned into monthly meet-ups with pre-booked hotel rooms, all while he’s friends with the man’s wife. He’s now developed feelings and wants to know whether his friend could actually want something more. Oh, and then he casually reveals he’s had sexual encounters with seven of his 18 straight male friends.

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    42 min
  • I’m The Other Woman… And I’ve Fallen In Love With Him

    One Bestie has a confession she never thought she’d be making: she’s the other woman. What started with a work colleague who has a long-term partner and two children has turned into a year-long affair, and now they’ve both admitted they have feelings for each other. She knows what they’re doing is wrong and desperately wants to end it, but there’s one major problem: she still has to see him at work. So how do you walk away from someone you’ve fallen for when you can’t completely remove them from your life?


    Then, for the first time, we hear the other side from a male listener who fell deeply in love during an affair with an engaged woman. He spent almost two years waiting for her to leave her relationship, planned to move his life closer to her and believed they’d eventually be together. When she finally became single, he thought their chance had arrived… until she went on holiday, told him she needed to be alone and then revealed she’d met somebody else.

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    41 min
  • Carly Got A Nose Job… And She’s Finally Revealing Everything

    Carly is back with a new nose! After years of feeling insecure about it, she finally flew to Turkey alone for the nose job she’d wanted for years. She opens up about why she decided to do it, the panic that hit before surgery, the mental battle during recovery and what it was really like seeing her new face for the first time. We also get very honest about the financial reality of becoming a single parent, the pressure of trying to keep up a lifestyle that was originally built on two incomes, and why single mums can so often feel forgotten.


    Plus, one Bestie shares the story of spending 15 years believing her husband simply wasn’t that interested in sex... until women’s underwear, Viagra, a gimp mask, a chastity belt, Telegram and a trip to a sexual massage parlour eventually revealed a secret life she knew nothing about... and just weeks before they were due to start IVF, one final discovery ended their marriage for good.

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    1 hr 5 min
  • I’d Just Given Birth When I Found THESE Messages On His Phone

    Three weeks after giving birth, one Bestie woke in the middle of the night panicking that she’d missed an alarm to feed her newborn. She couldn’t find her own phone, so she picked up her husband’s to check the time… and messages from another woman appeared on the screen. She was still bleeding, wearing a postpartum nappy and caring for their two tiny children when she discovered her husband had been having an affair with a woman they both worked with, and it had been going on for months.


    This week we also hear from a woman whose boyfriend kissed someone on a night out, came home and abruptly ended their relationship, only to then ask if he could move back into their flat while they sell it. We tackle whether a four-hour long-distance relationship can realistically work when both people have children and lives they can’t relocate, and hear from a cancer survivor trying to date again after her husband’s betrayal left her terrified of letting another man in. Plus, Carly has another dating update, we give one Bestie’s Bumble profile a brutally honest makeover, and hear a confession that might genuinely make you delete Instagram and leave the country.

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    38 min
  • Carly’s Dating Update Just Took A VERY Weird Turn…

    Carly thought she’d finally met someone who ticked all the boxes: great chemistry, great dates, hours spent talking on the phone and seemingly all the right things to say. Then she discovered he was sleeping with multiple women. But this week, the story takes an even stranger turn when she finds him back on Tinder… using a completely different name. Now she’s questioning whether she ever really knew who she was dating in the first place.


    We also hear from a woman whose affair with her married boss spiralled into years of broken promises, pregnancy, heartbreak and her private life being exposed at work; a listener who discovered her ex’s new girlfriend through a Daily Mail article; and a wife questioning the man she married after years of secrets and betrayal. Plus, we talk dating apps, trusting your gut, finding love after divorce and whether you can ever truly know the person you marry.


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    45 min
  • Young Parents, 3 Million Followers And Life Behind The Kern Family

    Eight months into their relationship, Charlotte found out she was pregnant at just 20 years old. From becoming young parents and figuring out their relationship along the way, to building a life online with an audience of over 3 million, this week we’re joined by Connor Kern and Charlotte Cucurnia from The Kern Family.


    We get into the reality behind the family you see online; becoming parents before they were prepared, the pressures it put on their relationship, arguments and learning how to communicate, why relationship therapy came up, raising three children and balancing family life with millions of people following along. Connor and Charlotte also open up about dealing with opinions and trolling online, maintaining trust with huge social followings and why the version of a relationship you see on social media is never the full picture.

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    1 hr 27 min
  • I Gave My Cheating Husband A Second Chance… 10 Years Later I Regret It

    She discovered her husband was having an affair, chose to forgive him and spent the next 10 years rebuilding their marriage… only to find herself right back where she started. This week, we hear from a woman questioning whether she wasted a decade after discovering the red flags had returned — and the receipts she eventually found left very little to the imagination. Now single at 50, she’s trying to stop blaming herself for staying and work out what comes next. 


    We also hear from a mum trapped in an increasingly controlling relationship who is terrified of how her partner will react to even the smallest decisions, discuss the reality of single parenting and not being able to be everywhere at once, reveal the ridiculously specific things our partners do that give us the ick, and answer a grandmother struggling with an ex-son-in-law who she believes is turning her grandchildren against her. Plus, possibly the worst use of a dog at Sunday lunch we’ve ever heard.

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    41 min
  • My Boyfriend Faked Cancer While My Mum Was Dying

    Imagine watching your mum die from cancer while the man you trust tells you his cancer has come back too… only to discover he made the whole thing up.


    This week we hear from a listener whose boyfriend lied about having cancer while her mum was terminally ill, before she discovered he had been cheating all along. We also hear from a woman who spent years trying to save her marriage through debt, lies and affairs, only to uncover another year-long relationship and experience the reality of post-separation abuse after finally leaving.


    Plus, we chat manifestation, dating red flags, what really gives us the ick, review another dating profile and share some very honest opinions along the way.

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    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    38 min

About Not As We Planned

From the publisher's feed

New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon.

Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and…

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