In this episode, Sarah Bentz concludes her deep dive into The Very Serious Business Bucket. While the first part explored the rigid external armor and warning signs we construct to hide our internal struggles, Part 2 goes straight to the core of what truly drives this profile: unresolved trauma. Sarah openly rebrands this industrial mop bucket as the "Trauma Bucket," explaining how our past pain constructs false safety nets that ultimately keep us isolated. Sarah breaks down the deep-seated, fear-based motives that keep the box of dirty water camouflaged—ranging from the crippling fear of abandonment to the heavy burden of giving back before doing your own internal work. Ultimately, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap out of rigid legalism and toward the liberating, playful freedom of a simple sand bucket. What You Will Learn:

• Welcome back: Transitioning into the conclusion of the Trauma Bucket series.
• The False Protection Recap: How rigid rules fail to protect us when someone inevitably "plows down the hall".
• Motive #1: The Fear of Loss & Abandonment. How past loss trains our trauma brains to say, "I'll be whatever you need me to be, just don't get close."
• Wounds of the Past: How our brains interpret the death of a loved one as a personal abandonment trigger.
• Motive #2: The Fear of Others' Anger. How walking on eggshells drives a hyper-reactive "fawning" response to protect the self.
• The Irrational Love Equation: Deconstructing the fragile trauma belief that love always requires a "Yes".
• Motive #3: Deep-Seated Guilt. The somatic betrayal of the body during trauma and why young brains assume personal ownership of a perpetrator's actions.
• Motive #4: The Helping Profession Burden. The dangerous urge to run out and rescue others with shared experiences before processing your own pain.
• The 4-Week Shutdown: Sarah shares her early-career experience leading a sexual abuse support group and hitting her own unhealed wall.
• Motive #5: The Middle School Approval Trap. How we use clothes, cars, and blending in to camouflage our inner emptiness from being exposed.
• The Danger of Shallow Water: Why living entirely on a polished exterior leaves you without true lifelines or substance.
• Kicking the Camouflaged Box: What happens when someone gets too close, the box tips over, and an explosive trauma response occurs.
• Modalities of Healing: Sarah discusses her background as a certified EMDR therapist and consultant.
• The Lifelong Journey: Normalizing complex trauma, returning to therapy, and embracing the non-linear process of healing.

Standout Quotes:

• "It's the bucket that you're going to need more help than what you can do on your own to walk through your past."
• "Loving someone means we're going to have some boundaries, and boundaries mean we're going to maybe say no."
• "You can camouflage, but someone's going to kick that box open and it's going to be all over the place... and every time that box gets kicked, it becomes more fragile."
• "You can't make dirty water look good. It's not possible. But man, our motive is to try."
• "We don't have to protect dirty water. The very serious business bucket, as serious as it is, it's kind of silly. It's just a mop bucket. We take it more serious than it deserves."

Resources Mentioned: Trauma Modality Exploration: Learn more about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and find a trauma-informed practitioner. Grab Your Merchandise!

• Official Podcast Merch: Keep your recovery concepts close at hand! Snag the exclusive line of t-shirts, mugs, and hats (featuring the popular Stop Shoulding on Yourself design) with absolute free shipping in the US! Shop the store directly

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this vital, healing conclusion with a friend who is ready to put down their industrial armor and trade it for a sand bucket! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah Bentz introduces a highly guarded and complex profile: The Very Serious Business Bucket. Visualized as an industrial, industrial-strength yellow mop bucket found in a janitor's closet, this bucket is built on wheels, heavily reinforced, and wrapped in strict rules and explicit warnings like Caution: Wet Floor. Sarah reveals the poignant reality behind of the exterior: the rigid guardrails and warnings are actually a form of deep protection to keep people away from the "dirty water" hidden inside. Whether it is early childhood trauma or the paralyzing fear of being blindsided, carrying this heavy burden colors how we view the entire world. Sarah bravely shares her own internal narrative as a recovering survivor, highlighting how unresolved trauma impacts our bodies, blocks deep relationships, and creates false systems of safety. Ultimately, this multi-part series maps out how to abandon industrial armor and rediscover the light, joyful freedom of a simple sand bucket. What You Will Learn:

• Welcome back: Transitioning into the heavy reality of a brand-new bucket type.
• The Yellow Mop Bucket Metaphor: The industrial parts, handles, wheels, and dual water compartments.
• The Warning Signs: Decoding the external Caution signs we post to keep others at a safe distance.
• Unpacking the "Dirty Water": Defining childhood trauma and how its developmental timing shapes identity.
• Guarding against the blindside: How unpredictable past pain forces us to build rigid relationship defenses.
• Fragile Self-Awareness: Why investing entirely in your outer armor leaves the inner self unexamined.
• The Rule Book Trap: Embracing legalism and a hyper-rigid worldview under the illusion of safety.
• The Cost of Intimacy: Overcoming the core shame and fear that if people truly knew you, they would leave.
• Automatic Triggers: Deconstructing irrational trauma responses like Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn.
• Somatic Memory: Tracking how trauma gets physically stored in your face and jaw , neck, shoulders, and pelvic floor.
• The Illusion of Trauma Bonding: The comfort—and hidden hazards—of connecting through shared wounds.
• "I Am Responsible": Sarah opens up about her personal childhood trauma belief and how it manifests as neck pain.
• The Grad School Sofa Story: Recognizing the moment Sarah tried to make her own history look like a badge of strength.
• Finding Help: The critical importance of working exclusively with a trauma-informed, trauma-trained counselor.
• Reclaiming the Sand Bucket: Shedding rigid structures for a bright, cheerful bucket built for play and zero rules.

Standout Quotes:

• "This bucket is full of things that you just don't know what to do with, and you've just been protecting it for your whole entire life."
• "The younger you are that a trauma happened, the more impact it has on your life, your identity, because you were not capable of sifting through that."
• "There is no cognition in trauma... Your response to protecting dirty water doesn't make sense."
• "Every experience goes through the same bucket... and everything that happens, everything we do gets sifted through that trauma."
• "We don't need this very serious business bucket to just protect our dirty water anymore. It's time that we move forward so we can carry that sand bucket."

Grab Your Merchandise!

• Official Podcast Merch: Keep your boundary reminders front and center! Grab the official shirt line (including the fan-favorite Stop Shoulding on Yourself tee) with free shipping in the US! Shop the collection here: Not In My Bucket Merchandise Collection.

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this deeply honest episode with someone who is ready to unpack their very serious business bucket! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah Bentz celebrates a massive milestone: reaching over 500 followers in just five weeks. She expresses deep gratitude to the listeners before wrapping up the final installment of her three-part series on The Collector's Bucket. While the collector's profile represents the painful reality of living without an understanding of boundaries, Sarah reveals that it also holds the greatest potential for beautiful redemption once you learn to clear out the emotional clutter and secure your protective lid. Sarah unpacks the final set of foundational "Boundary Rights," shifting the focus toward real action and accountability. She challenges listeners to stop making life choices based on the heavy, unvetted opinions of others and to embrace the freedom of making mistakes, delaying big decisions, and utilizing "No" as a complete sentence. What You Will Learn:

• Episode milestone: Thanking the community for reaching 500 followers.
• The Journey of Redemption: Shifting from the messy Collector's Bucket to the secure Shaker Sugar Bucket.
• Series Recap: A quick walkthrough of the first eight boundary rights discussed in Parts 1 and 2.
• Boundary Right #9: The right to make choices and mistakes—and take responsibility for them.
• How making choices based on other people's emotional baggage leads to a culture of blame.
• Unpacking Peer Pressure: Why filtering your life through 20 different worldviews and traumas results in poor decisions.
• Boundary Right #10: The right to delay decisions, consider the true cost, and ask for more information.
• Considering the Cost: Paraphrasing the architectural wisdom of analyzing your physical and mental capacities before building.
• Boundary Right #11: The right to state "I don't know" and "I don't understand" without shame.
• Counseling 101: Swapping out judgmental "Why" questions for the empowering phrase, "Help me understand."
• Boundary Right #12: The right to say "Yes" and the right to say "No".
• No is a full sentence: Overcoming the urge to over-explain or defend your limits against external opinions.
• Admitting you are a "recovering people-pleaser" and managing the daily battle of boundary protection.
• Final Series Call to Action: Slicing through your collection of guilt, breathing out, and honoring your inner value.

Standout Quotes:

• "The collector's bucket is that sad bucket... but it has the most redemption when a collector can clean out their bucket and put that lid on that sugar bucket."
• "We have a right to make choices, but we need to make those choices based on what belongs to us."
• "No is a full sentence. You don't owe anybody an explanation of why you say no."
• "We don't give ourselves enough opportunities to say yes in the purest way—in a way that says, 'I've got everything taken care of and a yes is going to work.'"
• "Protect that bucket with everything you have, because what belongs inside is precious. Treat it like it's precious."

Grab Your Merchandise!

• Official Podcast Merch: Support the show and wear your boundaries proudly! Shop the exclusive collection here: Not In My Bucket Merchandise Collection.

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this three-part series finale with someone ready to put a lid on their bucket! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah Bentz brings us the second installment on The Collector's Bucket, continuing the vital breakdown of our core human boundary rights. In the previous episode, we learned how collectors act like open garage buckets, accidentally accumulating the emotional trash, unvetted opinions, and expectations of everyone around them. Today, Sarah introduces four additional "Boundary Rights" designed to help you build a protective lid for your life. From demanding basic respect to overcoming the fear of acknowledging your own competence, this episode dives deep into how we value ourselves. Sarah shares practical strategies on balancing your own sanity against the urge to make others happy, reminding us that you get to choose exactly when, how, and if you step in to help someone else. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Welcome back: Recapping the first four boundary rights from Episode 06.
• [01:10] The Collector's Reality Check: Reviewing how open buckets continuously absorb external emotional weight.
• [01:45] Boundary Right #5: The right to be taken seriously and respected. Shifting away from letting people minimize your voice.
• [02:30] Systemic Disrespect: Recognizing when long-standing relationships are built on dismissing your boundaries.
• [03:15] Boundary Right #6: The right to have your needs be as important as the needs of others. Overcoming the habit of constantly putting yourself last.
• [04:40] Boundary Right #7: The right to be competent and proud of your accomplishments. Overcoming the "Polished Bucket" trap and letting yourself celebrate your wins without downplaying them.
• [05:45] Boundary Right #8: The right to make a decision about when and how to help others. Reclaiming your agency instead of jumping in on default.
• [06:30] The Grace of Changing Your Mind: How to backtrack gracefully when you realize you accidentally agreed to something that costs your sanity.
• [07:11] Putting the Lid On: How finalizing your boundary rights gives you the ultimate tool to protect your bucket.

Standout Quotes:

• "Their stuff cannot be more important than our own stuff, our own sanity, mainly."
• "Once we recognize that we have these rights, let's put that lid on the bucket."
• "We all fall short of doing that because we want to make somebody happy. We want to be there for them. But we have to protect our bucket."
• "You have the right to decide when and how you help, or if you even help at all."

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that their needs matter just as much as everyone else's! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah Bentz introduces what she considers the saddest profile in her series: The Collector's Bucket. Unlike other buckets, this profile represents individuals who don't even realize they have the right to establish limits. Visualizing it as a large, five-gallon home improvement bucket left out in a garage, Sarah explains how a collector's life becomes a catch-all for random debris—other people's unvetted opinions, emotions, and unresolved issues. To help collectors stop acting as dumping grounds, Sarah unpacks the first four foundational "Boundary Rights". She challenges the common misconception that prioritizing yourself is selfish, reframing boundaries as a selfless practice that allows you to show up more effectively for others. To conclude, Sarah introduces the beautiful imagery of a vintage 1940s Shaker "Sugar Bucket" to demonstrate how we can finally put a lid on our lives and selectively choose what we allow inside. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Welcome back: Moving into the multi-part series on the Collector's Bucket.
• [01:14] The Home Depot Bucket Metaphor: How an unprotected bucket accidentally collects everyone else's trash.
• [02:05] The Filing Cabinet Discovery: The origin story of the "Basic Human Rights" handout.
• [02:09] Selfish vs. Selfless: Why getting your own bucket together is the ultimate way to help others.
• [02:13] Boundary Right #1: The right to have and express your own feelings and opinions.
• [02:22] The Coconut Analogy: How failing to share small preferences loops you into endless compliance.
• [02:40] Dating and Marriage: Narrowing down your choices instead of defaulting to "I don't care".
• [02:49] Boundary Right #2: The right to refuse requests without feeling guilty or selfish.
• [04:15] Boundary Right #3: The right to change and disrupt a legacy dysfunctional family system.
• [04:45] The Flat Tire Theory: What happens when you step away from a system that relies on your dysfunction.
• [05:34] Boundary Right #4: The right to consider your own needs, priorities, and decisions.
• [05:58] Lessons from Kindergarten: Why identifying your feelings is the prerequisite to making good adult decisions.
• [06:36] The Ideal Standard: Introducing the Shaker "Sugar Bucket" and the power of a protective lid.

Standout Quotes:

• "Making priorities for yourself is not selfish, it's actually selfless, because if I got my stuff together, I can help you better."
• "When people have a collector's bucket, they have other people's opinions, other people's feelings, and they're just there because they haven't learned how to protect their bucket."
• "The rest of dysfunction will eventually follow... when you maintain those boundaries, because if they want to be part of your life, they're going to have to make some changes."
• "You're probably exhausted from carrying it all because none of it belongs to you, and so it's heavier than if it belonged to you."
• "We get to clean out our bucket and put a lid on it and we only have to open that bucket to what actually we're going to allow in."

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with your family and friends to help them step out of the collector trap! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah introduces a profile that many kind-hearted individuals struggle with: The Overloaded Bucket (also known as the "Yes Bucket"). Unlike the rescue bucket—where people actively go out looking to fix or steal someone else's problems—the overloaded bucket belongs to those who simply cannot say no when asked for help. Driven by a massive heart, people-pleasers continuously accumulate simple, "five-minute" tasks until their personal space is completely buried under everyone else's cares, concerns, and schedules. Sarah explores the critical warning signs of an overloaded life, explaining how unchecked commitments deteriorate our mental health and manifest as irritability, brain fog, and severe compassion fatigue. To counteract this, she introduces the beautiful visual metaphor of the "Olive Bucket" to teach listeners how to step back, establish clear boundaries, and actively strain out the daily grime that doesn't belong to them. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Welcome back: Moving from the Rescue Bucket to a new profile.
• [00:09] Defining the Overloaded Bucket (The "Yes Bucket") and how it quietly fills up.
• [01:14] The baseline emotional symptoms: Anxiety, anger, self-doubt, and an up-and-down emotional roller coaster.
• [01:16] Overloaded vs. Rescuing: The key difference between actively stealing a problem and passively agreeing to one.
• [02:24] Warning Sign #1: Believing you have the power to console or fix everyone and everything.
• [03:37] Warning Sign #2: Finding yourself consistently annoyed, agitated, and irritable with the people around you.
• [04:11] Warning Sign #3: Resorting to sarcasm and passive-aggressive behavior because you secretly resent being asked.
• [04:49] Warning Sign #4: Mental blockages—when your brain goes completely blank because it's too full to recall your own needs.
• [05:34] Warning Sign #5: Racing, agonizing thoughts. Sarah shares her personal early-career experience with client stories.
• [06:36] Warning Sign #6: Experiencing sleep disruptions and the dangerous realities of "Compassion Fatigue".
• [07:44] Warning Sign #7: Pretending to have fun and masking your exhaustion just to keep the peace for others.
• [08:10] Warning Sign #8: Overreacting and getting overly passionate about small, minor details (The Filing Drawer Story).
• [09:36] The temptation to think, feel, and answer for the people we love.
• [10:05] The "Should-ing" Bucket: Shifting from obligation to intentional choices.
• [12:00] The Olive Bucket Analogy: Learning to use a natural "strainer" to filter out dirt and bugs from your day.
• [13:33] Shifting to a weekly check-in strategy to protect your schedule and audit your current commitments.
• [15:58] Practical boundary remedies: Utilizing quick documentation, journaling, and professional counseling.

Standout Quotes:

• "We say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and that makes our bucket overloaded with everybody else's stuff."
• "Everybody's allowed to ask. It's our job to protect our bucket and not take on more than we were supposed to."
• "The overloaded bucket is really incredible people that want incredible things for others. It's just learning what needs to stay in their bucket and what doesn't."
• "I don't have room for the best thing because I've said yes to so many good things that really don't belong to me anyways."

Resources Mentioned: The Olive Bucket Audit: Implement a weekly check-in to trace your symptoms and clear your space. Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• The Bucket Handout: Download the visual worksheet to map out your own bucket list items.
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com (Navigate to the "Not In My Bucket" tab for journaling exercises)
• Not In My Bucket Podcast

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with a loved one who needs help saying "no" to the good things so they can say "yes" to the best things! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah Bentz introduces the first individual bucket profile: The Rescue Bucket. Inspired by a vintage 1940s firehouse bucket from eBay, Sarah uses the imagery of first responders to examine our own tendencies to rush in and save others. While rescuing is vital in real emergencies, acting as a constant relationship rescuer often crosses the line from genuine help into unhealthy enabling. Sarah breaks down the exact moments where rescuers go wrong—such as stepping in for irresponsible people and working harder than the person they are trying to assist. Through relatable examples spanning parenting, workplace dynamics, and addiction, this episode challenges us to stop dipping into other people's buckets and to start letting them face the consequences that promote true personal growth. What You Will Learn:

• Welcome back: Moving from general boundary overviews to specific bucket types.
• The 1940s Firehouse Bucket: The vintage inspiration behind the "Rescue Bucket."
• The Mountain Rescuer Analogy: Why true responders don't follow you home to check your equipment.
• Rescuer Trap #1: Stepping in for irresponsible people and cosigning their poor choices.
• The Parenting Pitfall: Why checking your child's school grading app constantly stunts their growth.
• Problem-solving vs. Problem-taking: How to offer systems without overtaking the responsibility.
• Unsolicited Advice & Interceding: Treating other people's emotional battles as your own rescue mission.
• Rescuer Trap #2: Working harder than the person you are helping.
• Defining the Line: Helping (doing what they cannot do) vs. Enabling (doing what they can do).
• Lessons from the Classroom: How 3-year-olds are capable of cleaning up after themselves.
• The Fear Trap: Why watching loved ones hit rock bottom in addiction leads to enabling.
• Workplace Rescuing: Why you are still at your desk at 5 PM while the people you "helped" went home.
• The Speeding Ticket Story: How setting clear driving rules ahead of time kept Sarah out of her son's bucket.
• Reclaiming the Galvanized Bucket: Shifting back to a standard bucket that doesn't expand for others.
• Shifting your language: Why choosing "I won't" is far more empowering than saying "I can't."

Standout Quotes:

• "It's not the rescuer's job to finish out making sure this person does it right going forward."
• "When you dip into someone else's bucket—when you take what belongs to them and you put it in your bucket—they don't learn anything."
• "Helping is doing something for someone that they can't do. Enabling is doing something for someone that they can do."
• "Boundaries do help the irresponsible person. It doesn't hurt them... it sometimes forces them into consequences that belong to them."
• "Respect yourself by allowing others to keep what belongs to them."
• "When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated." — Brené Brown

Resources Mentioned: The Workshop Metaphor: The classic visual breakdown of standard galvanized buckets vs. specialty rescue buckets. Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• The Bucket Handout: Download the visual worksheet to map out your own bucket list items.
• Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com (Check out the "Not In My Bucket" tab for worksheets and tools)
• Not In My Bucket Podcast

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with the natural-born helpers and rescuers in your life! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this episode, Sarah concludes her breakdown of the "Boundary Not List"—the top ten behaviors that signal your bucket is overflowing with things that don't belong to you. Following up on the first five signs discussed in Episode 02, Sarah unpacks five more patterns that drive us to overextend ourselves, ignore our own well-being, and sacrifice our peace to manage other people's expectations. From the exhausting reality of masking our pain with a happy face to the art of saying "no" without actually using the word, this episode offers practical strategies to reclaim your limits. Sarah challenges listeners to stop carrying around hypothetical reactions and remember a fundamental truth: protecting your bucket is your responsibility, because no one else will do it for you. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Welcome back: Recapping the first five items from the Boundary Not List.
• [01:41] Sign #6: Putting on a happy face. The emotional exhaustion of masking your true feelings to hide a "hot mess" bucket.
• [03:31] Sign #7: Ignoring physical exhaustion. How people-pleasing physically manifests in your body as tension, headaches, and pain.
• [05:27] The 2-Minute Mindfulness Exercise: A simple body scan to identify where you are holding stress and tension.
• [06:18] Sign #8: Fearing you are bothering people. Why carrying hypothetical responses in your bucket stops you from asking for help.
• [08:31] Sign #9: Going beyond your limits. How saying yes to too many "little things" leaves zero space for the things that actually matter.
• [12:06] Sign #10: Saying yes out of fear of "No." Reclaiming your choices and understanding that someone else's reaction belongs to them, not you.
• [13:33] The Schedule Trick: Creative ways to deliver a boundary and decline requests politely without giving endless excuses.
• [18:31] The wrong reasons to say yes: Spotting the traps of guilt, impression-making, and fear.
• [21:56] The Toddler Metaphor: Why establishing boundaries protects you, even if others throw a tantrum.
• [23:46] Teaser for Episode 04: An introduction to "The Rescue Bucket" and basic boundary ideas.

Standout Quotes:

• "When we mask so that other people don't know, then nobody knows that we're carrying around our dirty water."
• "Our bodies belong in our bucket. The exhaustion of putting everybody else's bodies in our bucket is why our bodies are physically exhausted."
• "If you ask for someone else's help and you fear we bother them, that is putting someone else's response in our bucket. That doesn't belong to us."
• "Protecting your bucket is your responsibility. Someone else is not going to protect it. They're going to ask all they want. Your no is what protects your bucket."
• "If you're doing it because you don't want to hurt somebody, you don't want them to get mad, or you're trying to impress somebody... it needs to be a no."

Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]

The Bucket Handout: Download the visual worksheet to map out your own bucket list items.

• Website: Hope & Growth Center
• Not In My Bucket Podcast

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs help protecting their bucket this week! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In the second episode of the series, Sarah Bentz digs deeper into the invisible nature of boundaries and how we often don't realize they are broken until our lives feel like a "hot mess." Sarah explains that just as a piece of land needs a surveyor to mark its limits, we need to identify the specific behaviors that signal when our buckets are overflowing with things that don't belong to us. This episode serves as a diagnostic guide to identifying the symptoms of poor boundaries. From sacrificing your own desires for others to the exhausting pursuit of perfection, Sarah provides a roadmap for listeners to begin cleaning out their buckets and reclaiming their personal space. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Welcome back: Continuing the journey toward a clean bucket.
• [01:05] The Surveyor Metaphor: Why we need external markers to see our internal limits.
• [01:40] Knowing yourself: Why you can't set a limit if you don't know who you are.
• [02:15] Sign #1: Prioritizing others' desires while discounting your own.
• [03:22] Sign #2: The "Outside the Bucket" trap—expecting others to read your mind and know your needs.
• [04:45] Sign #3: Minimizing success—why you must acknowledge your own hard work.
• [05:40] Sign #4: The weight of the burden—how overindulging, overspending, and overeating mask a messy bucket.
• [06:55] Sign #5: The "Polished Bucket"—the pressure to look perfect when you feel overwhelmed inside.
• [08:10] Homework: How to use the "Bucket Handout" to start your personal exploration.
• [09:30] The critical question: Where did this start and how did it get in your bucket?
• [10:45] A message of hope: It's never too late to turn the bucket over and start again.

Standout Quotes:

• "Until we actually see something, we don't know that it exists, and that's kind of what that bucket is."
• "How can you set a limit with anyone if you don't even know what your own desires are?"
• "We cover up that bucket because the bucket's a hot mess... and so we tend to overeat, overspend, and overindulge because we can't deal with the bucket."
• "We shine that bucket up nice... so that nobody recognizes and sees what's inside."
• "Every day you have to ask yourself: What belongs in my bucket? Does this belong to me or does it not?"

Resources Mentioned: The Bucket Handout: Download the exploration worksheet to identify what's in your bucket.

• Website: https://hopeandgrowthcenter.com/pages/not-in-my-bucket

Let's Connect: Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Not In My Bucket Podcast

Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with those who might be carrying a heavy bucket! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

In this debut episode, we sit down with Sarah Bentz, a Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of the Hope & Growth Center, to explore a unique and powerful metaphor for mental health: the bucket. Sarah breaks down the complex world of boundaries by visualizing every person as a bucket, specially designed for what truly belongs to them. We dive into how life experiences, trauma, and even our desire to be helpful can lead to us carrying things in our buckets that don't belong to us. Sarah explains why "boundaries" shouldn't be a scary word and how understanding your personal limits is the first step toward protecting your peace and empowering your relationships. What You Will Learn:

• [00:00] Intro to Sarah Bentz and the Hope & Growth Center.
• [01:11] Why Sarah uses the "bucket" metaphor to explain boundaries.
• [01:58] How trauma and external influences dump unwanted things in our buckets.
• [02:24] The trap of enabling: Why taking from others' buckets isn't always helpful.
• [03:36] What happens when your bucket is too full to fit what actually belongs to you.
• [05:58] The difference between stifling "walls" and breathable "moats".
• [07:11] How boundaries protect both you and your relationships.
• [07:55] Using the "House Metaphor" to visualize locks, doors, and peepholes.
• [09:55] The importance of "marking your land" through surveys and clear limits.
• [10:40] Knowing your limits: Why Sarah doesn't have important talks at 10 PM.
• [12:25] Teaser for Episode 02: Signs you have the wrong stuff in your bucket.

Standout Quotes:

• "Your bucket, my bucket, is specially designed just for who we are so what belongs in it fits in perfectly."
• "When we put other people's stress in our bucket, that's when we don't handle it very well."
• "A boundary is always to protect. It isn't to hurt."
• "We can't know our limits until we know ourselves."
• "By respecting our own boundary, our own bucket, we respect other people's buckets."

Let's Connect: Sarah Bentz

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: Hope & Growth Center
• Not In My Bucket Podcast

Be sure to like and subscribe so your boundaries can continue to protect and empower you! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST