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How Summer Secretly Wrecks Your ADHD Brain

School's out, routines are gone, and if your ADHD brain feels extra chaotic right now, you're not lazy — you're just missing the structure summer quietly stole from you. In this episode of the Sane Mom Summer series, Caitlin breaks down why ADHD symptoms intensify in summer and shares real, low-effort supports that actually help.

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Who Should Listen

• Moms with ADHD (diagnosed or self-suspected) who feel more scattered, emotional, or overstimulated once summer hits
• Parents managing shifting routines, camp schedules, and loosened structure
• Anyone in the Not Quite Grown Up "Sane Mom Summer" series looking for practical, non-glamorous coping tools
• Listeners who feel shame around not "enjoying summer enough"

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What You Get in This Episode

• A reframe for ADHD shame: scattered ≠ lazy — it means your brain needs different supports, not more willpower
• Why summer specifically wrecks ADHD coping mechanisms (hint: it's the missing structure, not you)
• The "acceptance before action" mindset, borrowed from an unexpected source (Amanda Knox)
• Five concrete, unglamorous tools: visible reminders, external structure, task-shrinking, action-before-motivation, and low-stakes systems (baskets, checklists, snack bins, alarms)
• Permission to stop chasing motivation and just start the smallest possible step

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood. Diagnosed with ADHD at 38, she brings that lens to episodes like this one, talking openly about what actually helps rather than what's supposed to.

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Sources & Mentions

• Sane Mom Summer series: 
  • Episode 205 — Lowering the standard for summer
  • Episode 206 — Confidence
  • Episode 207 — Not letting the internet dictate your summer
  • Episode 208 (this one) — ADHD in summer mode

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What’s Next

Back-to-school without the mommy meltdown

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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You started summer with one goal: keep life calmer, lighter, less chaotic. Then you scrolled for two minutes and suddenly your summer looks underwhelming compared to someone else's perfectly curated highlights. Your nervous system is dysregulated, your confidence is shaken, and you're convinced everyone else has figured something out that you missed. Let’s fix that.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
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Summary

Your real life matters more than content, even when it doesn't photograph well. A meaningful summer doesn't require a curated feed. It requires protecting your attention and refusing to absorb other people's chaos as your own. This episode shows you how.

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You Need This Episode If...

• You feel tense, anxious, or "behind" after scrolling
• You're scrolling for relief when you're tired but ending up more fried
• Your feed makes you feel like you’re sucking at summer

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What You'll Get

• Why your brain reaches for social media when tired (and why it backfires)
• How algorithms actually work—dwell time is the algo-impact you didn't know about
• Clear signs your feed is dysregulating you
• 4 practical boundaries that fit real mom life (ex: “shower before screens”)
• A self-check question to stop spiraling and return to what's actually real

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Your Host

Caitlin is the host of Not Quite Grownup and a content marketer who knows her way around an algorithm. She's also the woman who will pry Threads from her cold, dead hands, so this isn't about quitting social media—it's about protecting your peace within it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

You're allowed to quit the gym without explaining why.

You're allowed to say no without an explainer paragraph.

You're allowed to let someone else sit with their discomfort while you trust your decision.

This episode is about what real confidence looks like, and it doesn't require you to be loud, polished, or certain.

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You Need This Episode If:

• You find yourself overexplaining every decision you make
• You've been managing everyone else's feelings instead of trusting your own
• You’re looking for a way to build the kind of confidence that spills into other areas of your life

What You'll Get:

• A realistic definition of confidence that actually works for moms
• Why overexplaining kills your confidence (and how it opens the door for pushback)
• The gym cancellation story that changes everything about how you see boundaries
• Practical ways to build self-trust with small choices
• Why silence is one of your most powerful tools

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Your Host:

Caitlin is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms who are trying to keep it together with their watered-down iced coffee and realistic expectations. She's figuring this out in real time, right alongside you.

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Bottom Line:

Real confidence isn't about being loud or having it all figured out. It's about knowing what you want, trusting your decisions, and being willing to let things be a little awkward, one small choice at a time.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected with Not Quite Grownup

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Summer is supposed to be relaxing. Barefoot kids, popsicles, pool days, sleeping in. So why does it make you feel like you're barely holding it together?

The answer isn't that you're doing something wrong. Summer genuinely breaks moms—not because you're weak, but because the structure you've been relying on all year suddenly disappears and gets replaced with a thousand tiny decisions you have to make every single day.

This episode is about why that happens, what it actually costs you, and how to get through summer without completely losing your sh*t.

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You Need This Episode If...

• Summer has you making decisions from 6 AM to bedtime with no breaks
• You're feeling guilty for not making summer "special" enough
• You're exhausted by the constant "what should we do today?" questions
• You want practical ways to protect your sanity (not add more to your plate)

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What You'll Get

Why summer breaks moms:

• The decision fatigue that comes from losing routine
• How the pressure to make summer "magical" actually works against you
• What your nervous system actually needs during unstructured months

What "sane" actually looks like:

• Four realistic weekly goals
• Permission to lower the bar without guilt
• Real talk about what your kids actually remember

Practical ways to cope:

• How to pre-decide choices so you're not deciding the same thing every day
• Building tiny rituals that protect your peace
• Protecting your evenings (and why it matters)
• Setting boundaries around the pressure to perform in the summer

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Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, someone who is already losing her mind in June, and someone who’s learning that surviving summer break with your sanity intact is the real win this season.

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Summer doesn't need to be amazing. It needs to be survivable in a way that leaves you still liking yourself and your kids at the end of August.

Give yourself permission to lower the bar. It’s enough to just get through it.

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Sources & Mentions

Read the blog post →

Subscribe so you never miss an episode →

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

—

Next episode: Building real confidence, bathing suit season aside.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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Senior year of college. My best friend and roommate. An envelope of cash in the freezer, a lie about her father dying, expensive purses showing up, and then a "break-in" so terrifying that I got in a cop car and drove around looking for the alleged attacker.

Weeks later, I found out the truth from a newspaper headline. The entire thing was staged. No confession. No apology. From the newspaper. In front of other people.

This episode is about what forgiveness looks like when the person who hurt you won't own it, and you still have to figure out how to move forward without letting rage live in your body forever.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• You're stuck waiting for an apology that's never coming
• You're exhausted by the anger but don't know how to put it down
• You keep rehearsing what you'd say if they ever acknowledged what they did
• You're worried about the next steps after forgiveness

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What You'll Get

The story: A friendship betrayal so bizarre it still stings, and the years of grief, rumination, and rage that followed

• What forgiveness isn't
• What forgiveness actually is
• What "forgive but don't forget" really means:
• How to know when you’ve reached a turning point

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Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, someone who lost her best friend and most of her social circle to a betrayal she found out about in a newspaper, and someone who learned the real meaning of forgiveness.

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Sources & Mentions

• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC
• Forgiveness in Close Relationships | Very Well Mind
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation | Stanford Encyclopedia

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What’s Next

Planning my summer series! Starting after Memorial Day, episodes will release every other week so I can have a little summer and put some things together.

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
• Love you, mean it. 

Support the show

Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Someone hurt you. You did the brave thing and called them out for it. And then they responded with denial, minimizing, blame-shifting, or the classic non-apology: "I'm sorry you're upset."

That moment can make you feel dismissed and a little unsteady—like you need to build a courtroom case just to prove your own experience.

This episode is about what to do when someone hurts you and refuses accountability. When repair isn't mutual. When they deny, deflect, or gaslight—and still expect access to you and your family.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• You've named your hurt and been met with deflection ("That's not what I meant," "You're too sensitive," "Why are you still on about that?")
• You're stuck between wanting to repair the relationship and realizing they're not interested in owning their part
• You keep rehearsing the "perfect speech" in your head that will finally make them understand
• You need scripts for stepping away from arguments that go nowhere

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What You'll Get

• How to spot non-accountability patterns, like common deflection lines that invalidate your feelings
• Why you can't force accountability (and what to do instead) and scripts to stop the argument and step away
• Traps to avoid, like over-explaining and performative forgiveness
• Questions to ask yourself for using boundaries as risk management (How much access should they have to you? What do you need to stop expecting from this person?)
• Practical options for when you can't fully avoid that person

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Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, and someone who has learned (the hard way) that you cannot force another adult to become honest, curious, or fair on demand. This episode is about choosing your response when repair isn't mutual.

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Sources & Mentions

• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC

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The most grown-up thing you can do when someone refuses accountability is to stop arguing, stop explaining your pain to someone committed to misunderstanding it, and decide on the kind of contact that protects your peace.

Next episode: Forgiveness—how to let go without pretending something didn't happen.

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
• Love you, mean it. 

Support the show

Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

"I'm sorry" means nothing if you keep doing the thing you’re “I’m sorry” for. If the same hurt keeps happening, those words become noise—and trust quietly erodes until there's not much left to repair.

This episode is about what to do when you're the one who crossed the line. What a real apology actually looks like, why so many of our go-to phrases miss the mark, and how to make repair believable through accountability and changed behavior—not just words.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• You know you were wrong and you want to actually fix it, not just smooth it over
• Your apologies tend to include "but" or "I didn't mean it like that"—and you know that's a problem
• Someone in your life is still hurt after you apologized and you don't know what to do next
• You want to model real accountability for your kids

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What You'll Get

• A four-part framework for a real apology
• The most common fake-apology phrases and why they dodge ownership instead of creating it
• Why intent vs. impact matters, and why "I didn't mean to" doesn't close the loop
• How shame spiraling ("I'm the worst") quietly makes an apology about you instead of them
• Scripts for apologizing to a partner, co-parent, in-law, or your kids
• Why repair takes longer than an apology, and how to respect that timeline

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Your Host

Caitlin is a mom, podcast host, and the kind of person who gives you the real talk alongside the exact words you need. She covers the honest, complicated parts of family life—relationships, co-parenting, and doing better—with warmth, zero fluff, and practical tools you can actually use.

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Sources & Mentions

• The Four Parts of Accountability & How To Give A Genuine Apology | Leaving Evidence
• Repair After an Argument: A Step-by-Step Apology That Works | River North Counseling
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC
• Family Conflict Is Normal; It’s the Repair That Matters | Greater Good Magazine
• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability

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Accountability is a skill, not a personality trait. You can get better at it. This episode shows you how.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
• Love you, mean it. 

Support the show

Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Some relationships are worth fighting for. Some aren't ready to be repaired yet. And some people in your life will never give you the closure you deserve—and you need a plan for that too.

This episode is about what to do after someone wrongs you: how to name the harm clearly, how to decide whether repair is actually possible, and how to protect yourself when the other person won't meet you halfway.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• You're stuck between swallowing your hurt and blowing up a relationship
• Someone in your life keeps minimizing what they did or calling you "too sensitive"
• You want to repair something but don't know how to start the conversation
• You're done chasing closure from someone who won't give it

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What You'll Get

• A simple framework for naming the hurt before trying to fix it
• Three questions that help you decide between repair, distance, or repair with firm boundaries
• Scripts for asking for acknowledgment without turning it into a debate
• What to do when they deny, minimize, or flip the blame
• Why forgiveness and repair are not the same thing—and how to choose peace without pretending nothing happened

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Your Host

Caitlin is a mom, podcast host, and the kind of person who will give you the exact words you need when you don't know what to say. She covers the real, complicated parts of family life—co-parenting, relationships, and protecting your peace—with warmth, zero fluff, and a lot of practical scripts.

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Sources & Mentions

• Handling Political Disagreements in the Family | Psychology Today
• How Politics Are Tearing Families Apart | Psychology Today
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC

Other sources are listed in the blog post for this episode.

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Whether this relationship gets repaired or not, you deserve to stop carrying the weight of someone else's unwillingness to be accountable. This episode gives you a path forward either way.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

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• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
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Send Caitlin a Text!

Political messiness at home hits different. This isn’t internet discourse—this is your dinner table, your co-parent, your in-laws… and your kids sitting right there.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• Political conversations in your family escalate fast
• You and your co-parent don’t agree on what’s okay to say around the kids
• Your in-laws treat “just asking questions” like an Olympic sport
• You’re tired of your kids getting caught in grownup tension

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What You'll Get

• A simple way to think about politics at home (hint: it’s not just politics—it’s values)
• Scripts you can actually use when things start to spiral
• Clear “house rules” for political conversations that protect your kids
• What to do when someone ignores your boundary (because they will)

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Your Host

Hi, I’m your host, Caitlin, and I’m right there with you—figuring out how to hold boundaries at home without turning every disagreement into a full-blown situation. I love a good sentence frame, and yes… I had to rewrite this episode multiple times because it matters that much.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about winning political arguments. It’s about keeping your kids out of the emotional crossfire—and building a home that actually feels safe to live in.

Love you, mean it.

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Sources & Mentions

• How to Handle Political Differences with Your In-Laws | Brides of Long Island 
• List of Co-Parenting Boundaries | Co-Parenting Rules 
• How Do I Navigate Political Differences With My Parents With A Kid Involved? | Scary Mommy 
• 11 Strategies for Dealing with Parents with Different Political Views | Therapy with Julie 
• List Of Co-parenting Boundaries To Set For Your Children | amicable 
• Boundaries, respect keys to political discussions with family | UT Southwestern Medical Center 
• How parent-child political disagreements harm relationships and individual mental health | PsyPost 
• Setting Boundaries in a High-Conflict Co-Parenting Relationship | Our Family Wizard

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
• Love you, mean it. 

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Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

The news can make you feel like you're failing at everything all at once: citizenship, parenting, marriage, friendships, and your own mental health.

We're closing out the advocacy arc by getting brutally honest about bandwidth—because the "right" way to be informed and engaged is the one you can actually sustain without melting down in the carpool line.

This is a bridge episode: where we've been, what you've learned, and how to figure out what comes next.

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You Need This Episode If...

• You've been following the civic engagement series and need to process it all
• You're not sure which lane to focus on next (civic or personal)
• You feel maxed out and need permission to scale back
• You want to know what's coming next on the show
• You need help choosing ONE thing to keep doing consistently

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What You'll Get

A recap of what we've covered:

• Doomscrolling and nervous system overload
• Hyper-local civic engagement (school boards, library boards, mutual aid)
• Nonviolent communication for hard conversations
• Media literacy and digital citizenship for raising kids online

Self-diagnosis questions to figure out your next season:

• Are you feeling a civic pull (leadership, showing up locally) or a personal pull (partnership, co-parenting, mental load)?
• How much emotional capacity do you actually have?
• What can your kids handle right now?

What's coming next:

• Shifting focus to home, boundaries, and relationships
• Topics: co-parenting when politics don't match, protecting your mental load, setting boundaries with family, maintaining friendships across political divides

Your tiny homework: Pick ONE thing from this series to keep doing consistently

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Your Host

Caitlin is a former middle school teacher, current mom, and someone who just walked you through a graduate-level seminar on being a grown-up. Now it's time to figure out what happens next.

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You don't have to do all of it. You just have to do enough to feel like you're still you—and not someone else's activist project.

Next episode: Co-parenting and boundaries in this political space we're in. Should be a doozy.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Want to revisit the advocacy series? Check out all the blog posts at https://www.ckandgkpodcast.com/blog/tags/advocacy

Love you, mean it. Make good choices.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this. 

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. 
• Love you, mean it. 

Support the show

Visit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.