Not The Mama

Auntie Julia is joined by author Rachel Carter to discuss mastering your own story and keeping an open mind as you piece together your life. She shares her thoughts on dating and finding a partner in her 30s but not defining her life's success by her relationship status. As a creator, she values her free time which plays a part of why she hasn't yet decided if she wants to have kids. They also discuss the importance of the desire to have kids and how that should be a larger part of the decision to become a parent. You should want them if you're going to have them! And if you don't know, you should take the time to figure that out. As Rachel says, "Just because something is hard, doesn't mean you have to tackle it." 

Auntie Julia recorded an amazing episode with comedian and host of "Dear Nana: Advice from and Idiot" and repeat NTM guest Irene Morales BUT it got DESTROYED somehow. She made a mini ep to try to make up for it but then got a cold out of nowhere. Not her night. She powered through to give some thoughts on all the anti-choice nonsense happening in the states right now. Sorry but we have no need for "pro life progressives." If you don't stand up for the rights of people who can get pregnant, you don't understand how to fight for progress. If you're able, please give to The Yellowhammer Fund which funds abortions in Alabama.

Next week a full ep will be up but she's happy to connect in this mini version as well. Thank you for listening! 

Vonetta Moses joins Auntie Julia this week to talk about choosing to be childfree even when you've always pictured the romantic fairytale ending for your life. Vonetta got what she wanted without having to give up her full happy ending. She also shares her experience of being childfree in a huge family. Even with nieces, nephews, cousins and god children she still faces a bit of pressure to have kids of her own. She is also a step mom and talks about how she has defined that role to fit into her childfree status. They also discuss the "girlie girl" renaissance and how feminine power is having a moment. Oh, and, they work in some Vanderpump Rules chats, specifically Ariana's childfree storyline . 

Listener Check In! Auntie Julia shares some previews on what's to come from Not The Mama as well as a request for more ratings on iTunes! Take a second and help us out! She was recently interviewed by Author and Childfree Advocate Tanya Williams for her Childfree Choices program. Watch their chat and join the convo. Julia also plugs the NYTs podcast, The Daily's two-part series, The Abortion Wars. She's noticed an uptick in anti-choice trolling so she wanted to double down on our ENTHUSIASTICALLY PRO CHOICE POSITION. The Daily shares insights from both sides of the abortion fight with an excellent interview with Planned Parenthood board member and 101 year old activist, Vivian Zwick. When asked if the days before legalized abortion seem old fashioned and long ago, Zwick ominously replies, "I'm afraid not." We've got to keep up the fight! 

Artist and Educator Damien Davis joins the pod to discuss being happily single and childfree. Damien is currently in residence at the Sugar Hill Children's Museum of Art & Storytelling in Harlem, NYC. His experience working with kids reaffirms his desire to not have children because the work of raising them doesn't fit into his life. We talk about what family means and the importance of being a self actualized person. Damien reminds us to protect our concept of family so that the system as it is can't take away what and who we value. Check out Damien's art at his website and in our Instagram stories!

Do you ever feel like your answer to the question, "Why don't you want kids?" isn't good enough? Do you feel guilty because you don't like kids? On this week's ep, artist and designer Megan Brown joins the pod to talk about how hard it is to talk about being childfree. We work out some good answers and complain about the typical questions like, "Who will take care of you when you're old?" Why don't people see the Golden Girls as the perfect pop culture answer to that dumb question. Their kids all sucked and they seemed to be doing just fine. (Yes, yes we know Sophia and Dorothy were mom and daughter.) We also discuss fulfillment without kids and how that is fulfillment enough. People who are childfree by choice are brave! 

Do you worry that being #childfree will mess up your friendships with friends who have kids? Auntie Julia and her first parent guest & bestie Jenny Hoskins chat about their relationship and how it's grown, changed and strengthened along the two different paths they've chosen. They share their perspective on what works for them and how you can confront any fears or anxieties you have about how parenthood and not-parenthood will affect your own friendships. Jenny shares some great insights about the pressures society puts onto women no matter their choices and talks about what her life will look like when her kids are all grown up. They also discuss March's NTM bookclub pick, My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem. Auntie Julia confesses that she loves the book because it's self help disguised as a memoir, the only way she can take advice. 

Auntie Julia's best friend Jenny Hoskins joins us today to talk about March's Not The Mama Book Club Selection, My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem. We also discuss our friendship and how it's survived not only kids but moves around the world and almost two decades of time. Lucky for us Jenny is also a listener so she's got some great insights to share about her thoughts on the strengths of having childfree friends in her life and the pressures all women face to define themselves by society's standards. A warning, Auntie Julia forgot to turn her mic on for the first half so just power through and remember she is always learning and improving. Check out our Insta stories for April's book club selection!