Not The Mama

Artist and Educator Damien Davis joins the pod to discuss being happily single and childfree. Damien is currently in residence at the Sugar Hill Children's Museum of Art & Storytelling in Harlem, NYC. His experience working with kids reaffirms his desire to not have children because the work of raising them doesn't fit into his life. We talk about what family means and the importance of being a self actualized person. Damien reminds us to protect our concept of family so that the system as it is can't take away what and who we value. Check out Damien's art at his website and in our Instagram stories!

In today's new ep, comedian and Teenies foster mom, Maria Wojciechowski joins us to chat about how important mental health care is for all of us and how where we're from can also shape how we were raised. Maria is from Alabama and Auntie Julia is from the northeast. They discuss the differences and similarities about their childhoods and how that shaped the experiences they had as children and how that has affected their adult choices. In a new segment tentatively called, Childfree Current Events, they also discuss the incident in Denmark's Parliament where the first female speaker told a legislator that her baby was not allowed. Where should kids be allowed and who is responsible for figuring it out? Of course, Auntie Julia thinks she knows.

DON'T TURN UP THE VOLUME! The intro sound was messed up but the vocals are PERFECT! We're almost to the sweet spot! NEW in our Instagram Story! ;)

"I won't be devastated or hollow but being childless is not always a choice or a curse. Sometimes, it is something else." - Roxane Gay reminds us that just because some of us celebrate the choice to be childfree, there needs to be space for those who didn't necessarily choose it or begrudge it. Auntie Julia goes solo to discuss building an inclusive childfree conversation that makes room for people of all mindsets. She reads a short essay by Roxane Gay and also chats about some changes for the pod. Thanks for listening!

Childfree pioneer and author of February's Not The Mama Book Club selection, "Confessions of a Childfree Woman," Marcia Drut-Davis joins Auntie Julia to discuss her book and life. In 1974, in front of millions of 60 Minutes viewers, Marcia and her then husband confessed to his parents their desires to not have children. Facing death threats and job loss due to the backlash she experienced, Marcia built herself up to lead a successful life of educating and organizing. She has appeared in several childfree documentaries and organizes cruises to expand the non-parent community. We also talk about the state of the childfree movement today and what the future looks like. It's bright and joyful! Happy listening and be sure to follow Marcia!

On our very special Valentine's Day episode, Auntie Julia is joined by comedian and actor Drew Anderson to talk about all types of love - friendship, family, romantic, and self love. They talk about setting priorities, parceling out the time you invest in others and what really matters. They also talk about loving their nieces and nephews and how kids can be a great "place to put your love." That doesn't mean they should overwhelm or replace the rest of your love, though. XOXOXOXO

"We're probably over thinking it." - Liz Jansen, Auntie Julia's friend from college, joins the pod this week to discuss the process of figuring out if she wants to be a parent and all of the considerations she and her partner are going through. Financial, religious, personal, and political reasons motivate the choice to have children. Is there such a thing as over thinking it or how do you know when you've thought about it enough? Liz also shares info about the group she and her friends started called Women Unite as a way to make positive change after the 2016 election.

"How can I make money off of not-parenthood?? Tell me that!"

Marketing pro Elissa Reiling joins Auntie Julia to share her experiences as a not-mom in the city. They discuss life after divorce, maintaining friendships with parents and the suburbanization of NYC. A long rant about strollers on the subway during rush hour ensues. They also talk about targeted ad campaigns and fear tactics that capitalize on procreation. It's all bullshit. It's a fun episode and Elissa is a great guest! Keep reading "Confessions of a Childfree Woman" by Marcia Drut-Davis for our February #NotTheMamaBookClub selection!

"My womb has always been empty, but my life is full." - Jeanne Safer

Listener Maxine Sims joins Auntie Julia all the way from the UK to discuss the first selection of the Not The Mama Book Club, "Selfish, Shallow and Self Absorbed - Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids" by Meghan Daum.

They talk about main themes threaded throughout all of the essays such as self realization, having "it all," and the writers relationships with their own mothers. Maxine and Julia select their favorite essays and discuss them in further detail as well. The decision to not have children isn't always a singular moment in one's life. It can be a series of small choices, realizations, disappointments and victories. February's Not The Mama Book Club selection is "Confessions of a Childfree Woman" by Marcia Drut-Davis. Check out our website notthemamapod.com and Insta stories for more information! Thanks for listening and happy reading!