Not Your Average Autism Mom

“We already figured this out. Why is this hard again?”Your morning routine was working. Your child loved going to the library. They could get dressed without much help. Now something feels different, and you’re wondering what changed.

In this episode, Shannon shares everyday examples and experiences with her thirty-year-old autistic son, Jordan, to help you understand why familiar routines, activities, and supports may need adjusting.

You’ll hear about:
• Why a new school year can change mornings at home—even when your routine stays the same.
• How your child can have a skill and still need help using it somewhere else.
• Why a favorite library visit can suddenly become overwhelming.
• How your child’s interests can change as they grow.
• Making room for new possibilities while respecting your child’s preferences.

Whether your child is speaking or nonspeaking, needing different support doesn’t automatically mean their progress is gone. Sometimes understanding what’s different helps you see what they need now.

FREE WEBINAR
Beyond the IEP: What Moms REALLY Need Raising Autistic Children

Join Shannon for a conversation about what deserves your attention now, what can wait, and what you need along your autism parenting journey.

Register here:
https://new.notyouraverageautismmom.com/registration-page

You can also find event information on our Not Your Average Autism Mom Facebook Page.

Follow the podcast so you don’t miss our weekly conversations, and share this episode with a mom who’s wondering why something that used to work suddenly doesn’t.

Learn about our private membership:
https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

A canceled outing. A favorite food that isn’t available. A friend who can’t come over. You see another option—but your child is still focused on the plan that disappeared.

In this episode, Shannon shares practical ways to help your autistic children handle everyday disappointments while taking their feelings seriously. You’ll hear examples from life with Jordan, phrases you can use when plans change, and ways to support coping and problem-solving when your child is ready.

We’ll talk about:
• Acknowledging disappointment without changing a necessary answer
• Giving your child time before offering alternatives
• Supporting communication, including for nonspeaking children
• Preparing for changes without promising outcomes you can’t control
• Recognizing progress—even when there are still tears

You can’t always fix what disappointed your child. But you can help them through it. And your child can still be disappointed while learning how to cope.

Related episodes:
Episode 89 — Calming Down Big Emotions
https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/o592Wn5u16b

Episode 53 — Understanding Rigid Behaviors in Autism
https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/b3Zxkx7u16b

You can also explore all the ways we can support you, join our FREE Facebook group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT, or catch up on more than 200 podcast episodes.If this episode helped you, share it with another mom and follow Not Your Average Autism Mom so you don’t miss our weekly conversations.

Does your autistic child need more friends—or are you worried because their friendships don’t look the way you imagined?

In this episode, Shannon talks honestly about the sadness she has felt knowing that her son Jordan, now 30, has never had a best friend, sleepovers, or weekend plans with friends. She also shares what she has learned from paying attention to his experience: Jordan enjoys the familiar people and routines at his day program, and he has never told her he feels lonely.

But some autistic children do desperately want friends and feel the pain of being left out. Shannon talks about how to listen when your child says they’re lonely, notice connections that may be easy to overlook, and help them pursue the kind of friendship they want.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is missing out, this conversation will help you separate your worry from what your child is telling you—while making room for your feelings, too.

For more on social interest and the pressure to fit in, listen to episode 176, Discovering Unique Paths: Navigating the Social Dance. For ideas on teaching social skills and creating opportunities to practice them, listen to episode 88, Social Awkwardness.

Looking for more support? Join my FREE webinar, Beyond the IEP: What Moms REALLY Need to Navigate This Autism Parenting Journey—save your spot here. You can also explore all the ways we can support you, join our FREE Facebook group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT, or catch up on more than 200 podcast episodes.

Your child knows the answer but won’t say it. They’ve completed the task before, but suddenly insist, “I can’t.” They refuse to begin, ask you to do it for them, or fall apart when someone is watching.

It may look like defiance, laziness, or a lack of effort. But sometimes your child isn’t refusing because they don’t want to try. They’re afraid they’ll get it wrong.

In this episode, Shannon explains how performance anxiety can show up in autistic children, teens, and adults—and why being watched, timed, corrected, or asked to perform in a different setting can make it harder for your child to access a skill they already have.

You’ll learn how to respond without increasing the pressure, make a task smaller and clearer, support your child without doing everything for them, and help them discover that mistakes are part of learning—not proof that they have failed.

Shannon also shares questions to ask the school, possible supports to consider, and one practical way to look differently at a task your child regularly avoids.

Looking for more support? Join my FREE webinar, Beyond the IEP: What Moms REALLY Need to Navigate This Autism Parenting Journey—save your spot here. You can also explore all the ways we can support you, join our FREE Facebook group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT, or catch up on 200+ podcast episodes.

A child who is screaming, crying, or falling apart is clearly struggling. But what happens when an autistic child’s response to overwhelm becomes quiet?

Autistic shutdowns can look like ignoring, refusing, withdrawing, or simply choosing not to participate. Your child may stop speaking, become unusually still, retreat to their room, stare into space, or temporarily lose access to skills they normally have. Because shutdowns don’t always disrupt the room, they are much easier to miss—and often misunderstood.

In this episode, Shannon explains:

• What an autistic shutdown may look like

• Why a verbal child may temporarily be unable to answer

• How overload can build throughout the day

• What parents may mistake for attitude, stubbornness, or defiance

• Why asking more questions can add pressure

• How to reduce demands and support communication without speech

• What recovery may look like afterward

• When a change in your child’s behavior deserves medical attention

Shannon also shares what she learned from the questions she used to ask Jordan immediately after school—and why the connection she wanted sometimes had to wait until he had time to recover.

Your child does not have to fall apart loudly to be overwhelmed. Sometimes their struggle fills the room, and sometimes it disappears inside them. Both deserve attention, understanding, and support.

If everything has been feeling like too much in your home, register for Shannon's FREE live training, happening September 24 at 7:30 pm Eastern: Helping Your Autistic Child When Everything Feels Like Too Much —save your spot here.

And whenever you're ready for more:

Explore all the ways we can support you by visiting   www.notyouraverageautismmom.com .  

Join our FREE FB Group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT (NOTE: You must answer the questions or you won't be let in) Click HERE   

Your child knows the rule. You’ve explained it, practiced it, reminded them—and they may even be able to tell you exactly what they’re supposed to do. So why do they keep doing the thing they KNOW they shouldn’t?

It’s easy to assume they’re being defiant, refusing to listen, or deliberately pushing back. But knowing what to do and being able to access that information quickly enough to stop an impulse are two very different skills.

In this episode, Shannon talks about why impulsivity in autistic children can look a lot like opposition, and why the difference matters. She shares a memorable story from Jordan’s childhood, explains how executive functioning, processing, regulation, and impulse control can affect behavior in real time, and gives you practical questions to ask before deciding your child is simply choosing not to listen.

You’ll also hear why understanding what’s driving a behavior does not mean excusing it or removing boundaries and expectations. Instead, it helps you figure out what your child may actually need to learn, practice, or be supported with.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “But they KNOW better!” this episode will help you look at those frustrating moments differently—and ask one important question:

They may know better...but can they USE what they know in this moment?

Looking for support beyond a weekly podcast?  Join our FREE WEBINAR, Helping Your Autistic Child When Everything Feels Like Too Much —save your spot here.

And whenever you're ready for more:

Explore all the ways we can support you by visiting   www.notyouraverageautismmom.com .  

Join our FREE FB Group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT (NOTE: You must answer the questions or you won't be let in) Click HERE   

You ask your child a question. You wait a beat. Then you ask again, explain it differently, or add another direction.

But what if your child is still processing the first thing you said?

We’re back with brand-new episodes after our BEST OF Summer series! I’m sharing a quick update on my recovery from hand surgery and basal cell removal on my nose, then getting into a conversation that’s especially useful as school routines begin.

In this episode, we’re talking about slow processing and what happens between your question and your child’s response. As a fast processor raising Jordan, who needs more time, this is something I continue to practice myself.

You’ll hear about:

• Why getting your child’s attention and allowing processing time are different.

• How repeating questions can add more for your child to sort through.

• Making room for spoken responses, gestures, typing, and AAC.

• Practical ways to approach rushed mornings and school conversations.

• What you tell yourself while you’re waiting—and how that affects your response.

You’ll leave with one simple practice to try this week: before you ask again, leave a little room for the answer.

Looking for support beyond this weekly podcast? Join our webinar, Helping Your Autistic Child When Everything Feels Like Too Much—save your spot here. You can also visit NotYourAverageAutismMom.com to explore all the ways we can help. Whether you’re looking for practical guidance, help navigating a challenge, or connection with moms who understand, you deserve support for your part of this parenting journey, too. That’s what we’re here for, and we’d love to help.

Has this podcast helped you feel a little less alone? Leave a rating or review wherever you listen, and share an episode with another mom. Your words could be what encourages her to press play.

YOU, Mama, are doing AMAZING at this MOM thing.

☀️ BEST of Summer Series

This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast.

Originally released as Episode 233, The Back-to-School Parent Pep Talk: What Every Autism Parent Needs to Know couldn't be more timely. School has already started for some of our families, and for others, that first day is right around the corner.

Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, this is one I want every mom raising an autistic child with an IEP to hear as we head into another school year.

Because back-to-school isn't just new backpacks, school supplies, and first-day pictures when your child has an IEP.

It's wondering whether the new teacher has actually read it.

It's hoping accommodations will be followed.

It's worrying about transitions, new expectations, new staff, and whether you're going to have to explain your child all over again.

And it's figuring out when to wait and see... and when it's time to speak up.

In this episode of the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, Shannon breaks the beginning of the school year into 5 Big Back-to-School IEP Buckets:

💙 Know What's Actually in the IEP — Don't assume you remember it. Pull it out, read it again, and make sure it still reflects your child.

💙 Prompts Are Not the Plan — Support matters, but so does building independence. What's the plan for fading those prompts?

💙 Communicate in Writing — Carline conversations and phone calls are great, but when it comes to your child's education, documentation matters.

💙 Your Child's IEP Is Not Set in Stone — You do NOT have to wait until the annual meeting if something isn't working.

💙 Evaluation Drives Services — Current, comprehensive data matters when determining what your child actually needs.

Shannon also shares important back-to-school reminders about early IEP changes, accommodations across different environments, updated evaluations, diploma tracks, and some of the most common special education misconceptions parents still hear.

Most importantly, this episode is your reminder:

You don't have to know everything to be a strong advocate for your child.

You can learn.

You can ask questions.

You can request clarification.

And you can speak up when something doesn't feel right.

🎥 This BEST of Summer episode is available on video! Watch on Spotify or listen wherever you normally enjoy the podcast.

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode helps you feel more prepared for the school year ahead, please consider leaving a review and share it with another autism mom navigating an IEP. Helping another parent find this information matters.

💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you.

The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on."

If that sounds familiar, take a few minutes to read about it here:

👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset

🎧 And don't forget—with more than 270 episodes of the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, there is an entire library waiting for you. Search for the topic you're struggling with right now, revisit an old favorite, or simply scroll until something speaks to where you are today.

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio, and wherever you enjoy podcasts.

☀️ BEST of Summer Series

This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast.

Originally released as Episode 191, Unlocking the Mystery: Decoding Splinter Skills is one of those episodes that helps parents understand one of the most fascinating—and often misunderstood—aspects of autism.

Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today.

Have you ever wondered how your child can do something incredibly advanced in one area... yet struggle with something that seems much simpler?

Maybe they can recite every line from their favorite movie but struggle to have a conversation.

Maybe they can solve complex puzzles but have difficulty following everyday directions.

Or perhaps they can read fluently but don't understand what they've just read.

These are often called splinter skills, and understanding them can completely change how you support your child.

Summer is the perfect time to notice these unique strengths and intentionally help your child connect them to everyday life through real-world experiences.

In this episode, Shannon explains:

• What splinter skills are and why they occur

• Why autistic children often have an uneven or "spiky" skills profile

• Real-life examples of splinter skills you may recognize in your own child

• Practical strategies for building on your child's strengths while supporting areas of challenge

• Why celebrating progress matters just as much as teaching new skills

• How to help your child generalize their amazing abilities into everyday life

One of the most important reminders from this episode is this:

Every child has strengths.

Our job isn't to change who they are.

Our job is to help them connect the pieces.

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone.

💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you.

The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on."

If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here:

👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset

💚 Looking for coaching, practical strategies, and a community of moms who truly understand this journey?

Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to learn more about our private membership.

🎧 With more than 270 podcast episodes, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today.

☀️ BEST of Summer Series Note:

This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only.

☀️ BEST of Summer Series

This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast.

Originally released as Episode 227, They're Not Ignoring You: It's a Skill Gap is one of those episodes that changes how parents see one of autism's most misunderstood challenges.

Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today.

Summer gives us something we don't always have during the school year...

Time.

Time to slow down, connect, and intentionally build the skills our children need most.

If you've ever felt like your child ignores you, doesn't respond when you call their name, or seems completely focused on objects, screens, or their own interests, this episode is for you.

Because here's the truth:

They're not ignoring you.

They're missing a skill.

Attention to people is a foundational skill that many autistic children need to be intentionally taught. And the wonderful news is... skills can be built.

In this episode, Shannon explains why attention to people is so challenging for many autistic children and shares practical, age-specific strategies you can begin using today.

You'll learn:

• Why attention to people is a learned skill—not a behavior problem

• Why many autistic children naturally attend to objects before people

• How autism and ADHD together can make attention even more challenging

• Practical strategies for toddlers, school-age children, teens, and young adults

• Everyday ways to build connection without pressure or power struggles

• Why meeting your child where they are is always the best place to begin

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is this:

Connection comes before correction.

When we understand the "why" behind our child's behavior, we stop taking it personally and start teaching the skills they need to succeed.

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone.

💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you.

The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on."

If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here:

👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset

💚 Looking for coaching, practical strategies, and a community of moms who truly understand this journey?

Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to learn more about our private membership.

🎧 With more than 270 podcast episodes available, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today.

BEST of Summer Series Note:

This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only.

You can listen to this episode—and explore our library of more than 270 episodes—on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio, and wherever you enjoy podcasts.