Not Your Enemy

Nichelle and Rebecca met once at a networking event and ended up in a conversation about the forbidden nature of death. Nichelle shared that she'd recently experienced a sudden loss in her family that brought her closer to the realities of death, even beyond grief. It also made her more aware of how little we talk about death and end-of-life planning in our culture.In this episode, Rebecca and Nichelle explore each other's personal relationships to death, including losing loved ones, facing mortality, and preparing for our own eventual passing.You can find Nichelle on Instagram @nichest and on Substack nichelle.substack.com.

When Ant and Rebecca met, Ant was a flight attendant who liked acting. He’d was taking classes and was involved with a local improv group. Rebecca had noticed he enjoyed it, and that he was talented, but he told her it was too late for it be a serious pursuit. 

Years later, when Rebecca and Ant catch up, she finds out he’s performed in three productions within one year and just wrapped a commercial. As someone who also loves performing — and is also more than a decade into another career — Rebecca is curious what changed for Ant. In this episode, they explore what it means to take their love of acting seriously. Calling something a hobby can feel like an insult to your talent or a painful reminder of a career that’s passed you by. And at a certain age, fantasies of performing in the big leagues feel embarrassing and the fear of failure turns into feelings of futility. When is your passion doomed to only be a “hobby” or “another life”, and is that a problem? 

From the outside, it might seem like Rebecca and Ant should just do what they love. But in some industries, the voices in your head can be louder than your heart — and the price of trying can be higher than the price of putting it behind you.

Mallury and Rebecca were "color-blind" friends for over three years until a vulnerable admission opened the door to a frank and sometimes shocking dialogue about our races. These conversations became a primary inspiration for All the Forbidden Things, as we found that the more forbidden the dialogue became, the more powerfully we understood each other. We discovered that there were problems that we'd over- or under-estimated and things we never knew we never knew about the inner workings of the other's community. No matter how many personal secrets we had shared, there were significant parts of our lives and selves that we realized had been obscured from each other. In this episode, we offer a taste of our dialogue by talking about the particular dynamic between black men and white women and each group's perceptions about racism. We hope that you can feel the power of our connection and feel brave enough to talk more earnestly and more authentically with friends about race. The cost of never really knowing a loved one is much greater than a momentary awkwardness. We look forward to sharing more from our conversations in the future.

Find Mallury on Instagram: @mallurypatrick

Armando is a Pagan priest. What on earth is that? In this episode, Rebecca finds out what Paganism is, how it relates to the Occult, and whether or not it's a religion. Armando asks what she thinks pagan priesthood might mean, and Rebecca takes a guess based off an earlier "session". Rebecca realizes she has some experience in new age things, but she didn't know much about the old gods, and what she really didn't know is what lies at the center of all magic—and perhaps all of religion.

Emily has a very personal relationship with psychedelics, including Ayahuasca. In this episode, Rebecca investigates how Emily finds herself in Ayahuasca, as well as what—and who—she knows Ayahuasca to be. We find out what Rebecca thinks Emily's physical experiences are like and reveal what's really going on inside Emily's trips. Rebecca touches on fears people have about losing their minds, and other misunderstood elements of the psychedelic experience. We realize how Ayahuasca re-introduces Emily to aspects of her identity, helps her face old wounds, and expands her awareness. Ultimately, Rebecca and Emily recognize we all have our own personal “psychedelics”, and find out what Rebecca's is.

You can find Emily’s work at ⁠freebirdhotel.substack.com⁠. Subscribe (recommended) or click No thanks to go straight to her content!

Roberto is a first-generation Mexican-American. Rebecca always perceived that Roberto lives within these two worlds with pride and ease. But she finds out it isn’t accidental, nor is it exactly right. In this episode, we explore who Roberto really is and how he relates to both Mexicans and Americans in terms of appearance, relationships, culture, language, and family expectations. Roberto reveals his 'immigrant lite' presentation and how he experiences his first-gen identity.

Laurie is 23, Rebecca is 35. We are friends—which feels rare between women of our ages. In this episode, we explore the differences in our experiences of life and the world at large. We discuss lives lived online and off, the origins of self-esteem, new and alternative relationship models, and how each generation is managing projections of a dark future.

You can find Laurie's "entire life online" at @laurieorsi on Instagram.

Juleigh is intersex, Rebecca is cis. We think we know each other's relationship to our genders, but in this episode we find out the reality. Find out more about Intersex here: unfe.org/know-the-facts/challenges-solutions/intersexCheck out Juleigh's YT channel Just Juleigh for our live show "Optimistic in Orlando" every Sunday at 7pm ET. You can also see more from Juleigh at justjuleigh.com.