Most women think “standards” only apply to dating.

But the truth is, your standards show up everywhere.

In how you speak to yourself.

In how you show up for your work.

In the boundaries you set with other people.

And in the environments you tolerate.

Low standards don’t just affect your relationships; they quietly shape the version of you that shows up in your own life.

In this episode of Notes to Her: The Daily Pep Talk, Yaya breaks down why becoming the woman you envision requires raising your standards in more areas than you may realize.

Because the truth is simple:

You can’t become the woman you want to be while still living by the habits, boundaries, and beliefs of the version of you that’s comfortable playing small.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

• What “low standards” actually look like in everyday life

• Why women often lower their standards to stay safe or accepted

• The role self-talk plays in shaping your confidence

• How standards affect your work, boundaries, and energy

• Why raising your standards isn’t about perfection — it’s about alignment

If you’ve been feeling the pull to show up differently in your life, this episode will help you understand where to start.

Because the woman you’re becoming doesn’t live by low standards.

She lives by self-respect.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

If you constantly feel responsible for other people’s emotions… this episode is for you.

In today’s pep talk, Yaya is calling all the people pleasers to the front of the room for an honest conversation about why people pleasing isn’t kindness — it’s fear.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of conflict.

Fear of being misunderstood.

At some point, your nervous system learned that keeping everyone happy meant staying safe. So you adapted by reading the room, softening your voice, over-explaining your decisions, and putting everyone else’s comfort ahead of your own.

But constantly abandoning yourself to keep the peace has a cost.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down:

1. Why people pleasing is actually survival wiring
2. The nervous system response behind conflict avoidance
3. The hidden resentment that builds when you override yourself
4. Why people pleasing prevents you from becoming the confident woman you want to be
5. How to start tolerating discomfort without abandoning yourself

If you're ready to stop performing and start living in alignment, this episode will give you the perspective shift you need.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Perfectionism sounds responsible.

It sounds like discipline.

It sounds like high standards.

But what if perfectionism isn’t about excellence at all?

What if it’s protection?

In this episode of Notes to Her, Yaya breaks down how perfectionism quietly keeps ambitious women stuck, not because they lack ability, but because they’re trying to eliminate the risk of judgment before they allow themselves to be seen.

Inside this note we explore:

• The real fear underneath perfectionism

• How perfectionism erodes confidence over time

• Why perfectionism affects communication and relationships

• The hidden emotional cost of trying to “get it right”

• A mindset shift that helps you move forward without waiting for flawless

Perfectionism doesn’t build confidence.

Experience does.

If you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to speak up, share your ideas, or move forward in your life, this episode will help you recognize the pattern and interrupt it.

Because perfection isn’t confidence.

It’s protection.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Have you ever caught yourself shrinking in a room where you belong?

Lowering your voice in meetings.

Holding back your opinion in relationships.

Hovering over the “post” button and then closing the app.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down one of the most common patterns ambitious women struggle with: shrinking in moments where visibility matters.

Not because you’re incapable.

But because at some point your brain learned that being seen could lead to judgment, rejection, or discomfort.

Inside this note, you’ll learn:

• Where shrinking quietly shows up in your life

• Why your brain tries to protect you from visibility

• How self-doubt disguises itself as “being careful”

• The emotional cost of staying small

• What actually starts building confidence

If you’re tired of watching opportunities pass you by while you wait to feel ready, this episode is your interruption.

Because confidence doesn’t come from thinking about the move.

It comes from making it.

Save this episode for the next time fear tells you to stay quiet.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

You’re not confused.

You’re hesitating.

In this episode, Yaya calls out the pattern so many ambitious women live in, waiting to feel ready before they make the move they already know they need to make.

Whether it’s a relationship you’ve outgrown, a role you’ve been scared to pursue, a boundary you’ve been avoiding, or a life decision you keep pushing off, this note is your interruption.

Waiting feels responsible.

But sometimes it’s just fear dressed up as patience.

Inside this episode:

1. The difference between settling and stretching
2. Why comfort can quietly become a cage
3. How projection from loved ones influences your hesitation
4. The emotional cost of overriding your intuition
5. A personal story about staying too long and what it taught Yaya
6. Why readiness is built through action, not thought
7. The one shift that starts rebuilding self-trust immediately

If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines of your own life, this one will feel personal.

And if it hits?

The next step is taking action.

Start with the Confidence Starter Kit, your first step toward becoming the woman you keep saying you want to be; link below

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Have you ever felt like you’re behind in life?

Behind in your career.

Behind in love.

Behind in confidence.

Behind in healing.

In this episode, Yaya reframes what “behind” really means and why most of the time, it’s not about timing at all.

It’s about hesitation.

Inside this note, you’ll learn:

1. Why feeling behind is perception, not reality
2. How comparison distorts your pace
3. The sneaky ways hesitation disguises itself as “being responsible”
4. The emotional cost of waiting too long
5. Why clarity and confidence only come after movement
6. How to identify where you’re stalling
7. A powerful mindset shift that rebuilds self-trust

If you’ve been stuck in overthinking, looping, and calling yourself late, this episode will feel personal.

You’re not behind.

You’re hesitating.

And you can move.

🎧 Save this note for the next time your brain tells you you’re late.

You’ve grown.

But instead of feeling proud… you feel embarrassed.

In this powerful closing episode of the self-love series, Yaya walks you through how to stop punishing your past self for choices she made without the awareness you have now.

If you’ve ever said:

1. “I should’ve known better.”
2. “I can’t believe I stayed.”
3. “That wasn’t me.”

This episode will help you release shame, resentment, and self-judgment and integrate the version of you who survived.

Inside this episode:

1. Why you’re judging your past self unfairly
2. The difference between accountability and self-punishment
3. How shame keeps charging you for lessons you’ve already learned
4. Why survival versions make different choices
5. How to thank, not reject, who you used to be

If this month shifted something in you and you’re ready to move forward with support, apply for the 4-week coaching program Becoming Her, Unapologetically here.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

If it costs your peace, it’s too expensive.

In this episode, we talk about why boundaries aren’t walls, they’re protection. Yaya breaks down why boundaries are one of the clearest forms of self-love and why so many women feel guilty setting them.

If you’ve been overextending, over-explaining, or tolerating things that quietly drain you, this episode will help you reconnect with your limits and your identity.

Boundaries don’t push people away.

They protect your peace, your energy, and the woman you’re becoming.

Inside this episode, you'll learn:

1. Why boundaries feel intimidating (especially for people pleasers)
2. The myth that boundaries are selfish
3. How lack of boundaries dysregulates your nervous system
4. Why “No” is a complete sentence
5. The connection between boundaries and confidence
6. How to embody standards without guilt

If this episode resonated deeply, Yaya invites you into her 4-week private coaching experience, Becoming Her, Unapologetically, where you’ll rebuild your self-worth and practice boundaries in real life. Learn more here.

If your inner voice sounds more like a bully than a best friend, this episode is for you.

In this powerful and honest note, Yaya calls out harsh self-talk for what it really is: self-hatred. From internalized parental criticism to the pressure of perfectionism, this episode explores where that voice comes from and how it quietly destroys your confidence.

Being hard on yourself isn’t discipline.

Constantly criticizing yourself isn’t growth.

It’s emotional self-abandonment.

Inside this episode:

1. The difference between accountability and self-hatred
2. Where your inner critic really came from
3. How harsh self-talk dysregulates your nervous system
4. Why external validation fuels self-criticism
5. How to interrupt the inner bully without fake positivity

This is an episode to sit with. Journal about it. Save it. Share it with someone who needs the reminder.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

Overthinking isn’t your personality; it’s protection.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down what self-trust actually looks like, why so many women lose it, and how to rebuild it without forcing confidence.

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself, asking everyone else what to do, or ignoring your intuition because it feels inconvenient, this note is for you.

Self-trust isn’t about always being right.

It’s about staying with yourself, even when things feel unclear.

Inside this episode:

1. What lack of self-trust really looks like
2. Why overthinking feels safer than listening to yourself
3. The truth about women’s intuition
4. How denial keeps you stuck
5. A grounding reflective exercise
6. Small, practical ways to rebuild self-trust
7. A gentle reminder that you didn’t lose your intuition, you just stopped listening

Make sure you’re subscribed; the next few episodes round out this self-love conversation in a powerful way.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.