Noticing the Ordinary with Michele Mateus

Bored on Purpose with Ryan Schebek

Ever reached for your phone the second there was a gap, in a line, on a walk, or in the quiet before sleep, without ever deciding to? Maybe you put in headphones before you’ve even left the driveway, or a walk only counts if it ends at the grocery store, or a free minute with nothing to do makes your skin itch. Underneath all of it, there might be something your mind has been waiting to tell you, and boredom might be the doorway. That’s this week’s crack in the ordinary.

This episode is for you if...

• you reach for distraction the moment things get quiet and feel a little drained afterward
• you’ve been told to “just do more self-care” when your plate is already full or your body can’t do what’s being suggested
• you’ve wondered why your best ideas show up the second you stop trying
• you’re learning to be open to receiving, even when part of you is bracing for what might come in

In this episode, we talk about:

I’m joined by Ryan Schebek, a registered clinical counselor, founder of Layers Counseling and Wellness, and counseling instructor at Alder University.

Ryan has a way of talking about big, tender things without ever making it feel like a lecture. This conversation is really about what happens when we stop being pulled and pushed and finally let our attention wander. Ryan describes noticing as intentionality, a stepping back, and he points out that the things grabbing our attention tend to leave us drained, while the things we wander toward leave us energized. 

From there we land on boredom, which he calls being alone with yourself with nothing mediating the connection. It’s uncomfortable because it’s unfamiliar, and because it’s one of the few things nobody can bottle and sell. It’s also where the mind finally rests, where we can ask “what do I need right now?”, and where our best ideas tend to show up the moment we stop worrying about them. That same thread runs through everything else we touch on. Safety isn’t something you declare, it’s something you co-create, and nothing is ever 100% safe. 

Noticing can’t be prescribed, because the moment it becomes homework it stops being noticing. And receiving can feel hard for good reasons, so it makes sense to take it one small step out and then retreat to take care of yourself. 

There’s plenty of fun along the way too: my leaf-crunching experiments, the spiders in my garden, the fluorescent lights Ryan banished from his new office, and his firm declaration that if anyone told him to go look at spiders for ten minutes, he absolutely would not. 

Near the end, Ryan also shares a bit about his clinical work, including his training in psychedelic integration and his work as the therapist in the room for ketamine-assisted therapy. He’s planning a sharing circle for people who want a community to keep integrating those experiences, because opening up is only part of it and you need somewhere to land afterward. He closes with the thing he hopes he never stops noticing, and I’m still thinking about it.

About Ryan Schebek

Ryan is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and the founder of Layers Counselling and Wellness. He also teaches counselling at Adler University, where he is passionate about mentoring and supporting the next generation of counsellors.

Ryan’s clinical interests include psychedelic integration and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, as well as exploring the intersection of oppressive systems, mental health, and social justice. His approach to therapy is informed by a commitment to understanding the broader social and systemic contexts that shape people’s mental health and well-being.

Outside of his professional work, Ryan enjoys reading and collecting books, watching movies, and spending time with his Pom Chi, Dolly. He is excited for the opportunity to be a part of Noticing the Ordinary because of its approach and what it offers. Its non-prescriptive reminder to get curious about slowing down. Something everyone needs!

Photo credit: Kat Timmins

Connect with Ryan Schebek

https://www.layers-counselling.ca/

[email protected]

https://www.instagram.com/ryan.schebek.therapy/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-schebek-1918731a3/

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

The Season You’re Actually In

Ever noticed the season changing and felt resistance rising before you even knew why? Maybe summer slipped away before you got enough of it, or the garden is shutting down around fruit that never ripened, or this year looked nothing like the one you planned. Sometimes the shift into fall isn’t really about the weather. It’s about what we’re holding onto, and what we’re being asked to let go of. That’s this week’s crack in the ordinary.

This episode is for you if...

• you’re resisting a change of season, whether it’s the weather or something in your own life
• you’ve ever beaten yourself up for being distracted or for “doing meditation wrong”
• you’re learning to trust that not every effort has to bear fruit to count
• you’ve had a summer (or a year) that looked nothing like the one you planned because grief got there first

This week I’m joined by my friend Kendra Coupland,  a grandmaster yoga teacher, a longtime student of yoga, and an unapologetic nerd for non-dual Vedantic philosophy. Kendra is neurodivergent, diagnosed with ADHD and, as she likes to say, she's hyperfixated on liberatory practice. She's also a former wedding photographer which is how we know each other, and fellow garden lover, who has a way of making the deepest truths sound like common sense. 

I asked what she’s been noticing, and she pointed to the turn of the season: the lake she didn’t float on enough, and tomato plants that blighted before their fruit could ripen.

From there, nature became our teacher. We talk about what an apple tree knows about effort and letting go, why we can watch the land do its cycles our whole lives and still not extend ourselves the same grace, and what it means to be a tender who creates the conditions for life to emerge instead of a commercial farmer chasing a yield. 

Kendra is about to begin 30 days of silent meditation, and we also explored what it means to simply be, and about meeting yourself in your inner season, even when the world around you is telling you it’s time to prepare for another one.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why meditation is really just noticing, and how the story we tell ourselves pulls us off course
• What an apple tree knows about effort that we forget
• Sharing the harvest and practicing non-attachment
• Making room for grief, even when it crashes your summer
• What 30 days of silence might teach us before it even starts

Not every apple becomes a tree, and that’s okay. It’s all part of the process.

About Kendra Coupland

Kendra is a grandmaster yoga teacher, a longtime student of yoga, and an unapologetic nerd for non-dual Vedantic philosophy. Kendra is neurodivergent, diagnosed with ADHD and, as she likes to say, she's hyperfixated on liberatory practice.

For 20 years, she has been studying and practicing yoga, and was initiated in the Tantric tradition while living in India. These days, She's an independent yoga instructor based in Metro Vancouver, working primarily with activists, organizers, caregivers, and other humans who are tired, overwhelmed, burned out—or simply longing to feel more like themselves.

Prior to that, she spent 15 years as a wedding and documentary photographer learning how to see people in a more expansive way. She is a mom to a teenager, a human companion to two dogs, and a lifelong student of this wonderfully strange thing called life.

Find our guest Kendra Coupland here:

https://www.kendracoupland.com/

https://www.instagram.com/kendracoupland

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kendra-coupland/

https://www.youtube.com/kendracoupland

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

Ever put yourself on the calendar, made a real date with yourself, and then everything conspires to get in your way? That's this week's crack in the ordinary.

This episode is for you if...

• you've ever talked yourself out of something you were actually looking forward to
• you're learning to move your body with compassion instead of pushing through pain
• you know how hard it is to show up for yourself when you're exhausted, caregiving, or living with a chronic illness
• you need a reminder that showing up messy still counts as showing up

I'm reflecting on my first Pilates class, the wait list mix-up, the kindness of strangers who made room for me, and yes, the smoothie I found stuck to my foot halfway through. I'm talking about what it's like to try something new in a body that has its own plans, the old "push harder" programming I'm still unlearning, and why noticing something as small and silly as smoothie on my foot ended up meaning something bigger.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Making a commitment to yourself and actually following through, even when everything gets in the way
• The vulnerability of trying something new, especially when you live with a chronic illness like MS
• Unlearning the belief that we have to push ourselves to the point of discomfort to succeed
• Practicing self-compassion in real time, not just talking about it
• Why showing up imperfectly still matters — smoothie foot and all

You don't have to have it all together to show up for yourself. Sometimes you just have to show up, mess and all.

Take a listen and let's get noticing together

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

The Quiet Power of Validation

Ever had someone say the exact right thing at the exact right moment which  caught you off guard because it really mattered? That's this week's crack in the ordinary.

This episode is for you if...

• you've ever needed to hear "that makes sense" more than you needed advice
• you're working on getting out of your head and into your body
• you want simple ways to make someone's day without it costing a thing
• you're curious how presence shows up in creative work

I'm reflecting on why validation feels so grounding, whether it's celebrating something good or acknowledging something hard, and how a small moment of being truly seen can fill you with wonder you didn't expect.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why validation feels so powerful, even when we don't want to admit we need it
• How presence and intention show up in creative work
• Getting out of your head and into your body
• Small, everyday ways to practice validation — for others and for yourself
• Why "holding space" matters more than we think

Validation doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes it's just noticing, and saying so.

Take a listen and let's get noticing together

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

Lessons from a Peach Tree

I planted my first peach tree, watched three little peaches grow, and then came outside one day to find them completely eaten. Turns out the critters threw a whole picnic without me.

This episode is for you if...

• you've ever put in the work and had it not go the way you planned
• you're tired of being frustrated every time something goes wrong
• you could use a reminder that new growth is still possible, even when it's exhausting
• you're curious how a moment of "great, THIS happened" can turn into something closer to joy

What started as frustration somehow turned into joy, and that shift is exactly what this episode is about. It's not only about the lessons from nature, but about how we shift our thinking so we're not always walking around frustrated at the things that go wrong in life.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What happened to the peaches (and how I reacted at first)
• The moment frustration turned into something lighter
• Why "growth" doesn't always look the way we expect it to
• Shifting your thinking when things don't go to plan

Things don't always grow the way we plan. New growth is still possible — even when it's exhausting, even when it's hard.Let's get noticing together.

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

Noticing Morning Anxiety

Have you ever woken up with a buzz in your chest. No clear reason, sunny outside, decent sleep, but something just feels off? That was me this morning, and it's been happening a lot lately

This episode is for you if...

• you wake up some mornings with anxiety you can't quite explain
• you're someone who's been told "notice the feeling" a hundred times in therapy and are figuring out what that actually looks like
• you're curious about small embodiment practices that don't require a whole routine
• you want a reminder that pushing feelings away doesn't actually make them go away faster

This one's a quick morning note about waking up with that anxious buzz, and a small thing I did differently today: instead of fighting it or reaching for my phone, I put my hand on my chest and shifted my attention to the feeling of the fan moving air across my skin. I talk about my background in embodiment coaching, why staying with a feeling instead of pushing it away seems to help it move through faster, and the small, unexpectedly lovely moment I had after, watering the garden and watching the poppies bloom.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What that anxious "buzz" actually feels like, and why it showed up more in recent years
• A simple embodiment practice: shifting attention to physical sensation (like air on skin) instead of fighting the feeling
• Why noticing and staying with a feeling can help it dissipate faster than pushing it away
• Other ways people move through this feeling, humming, singing, stimming, rocking, hand massage
• Finding a small moment of joy (hello, poppies) right alongside the anxiety, not after it

Some mornings you don't get rid of the anxious buzz. You just learn to sit close enough to it that the poppies can bloom right alongside it.

Let's get noticing together.

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/
 

Welcome to Noticing the Ordinary

It's June 22nd. In four days it'll be 20 years since I lost my mom to breast cancer, she was 49. I'm 49 now. And this week, I found a lump in my left breast. The timing is eerie, and I'm trying not to panic. This is the moment this podcast was born out of.

This episode is for you if...

• you want to know what this whole podcast is actually about before diving in
• you're autistic, ADHD, or just someone who notices things other people walk right past
• you're carrying grief, heavy timing, or complicated family stuff and want company, not toxic positivity
• you like the idea of small moments: glimmers, wonder (whatever you call them) being enough, without needing to go "look" for them

This is the origin story episode, why I'm starting this podcast, what it's really about, and why it's not about giving you homework or another thing to do. I talk about the last few years being genuinely hard, about parenting a child with high support needs and the grief that comes with a life that looks different than I imagined, and about a daddy long legs in my kitchen that stopped me in my tracks. 

This podcast is about noticing what's already there. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why I'm launching this podcast now, and the 20-year anniversary that shaped the timing
• What "noticing the ordinary" actually means, and what this podcast isn't (spoiler: it's not toxic positivity)
• Being autistic and ADHD, and noticing things other people miss
• Parenting a child with high support needs, and the grief that comes with an unexpected path
• The daddy long legs story, and why I didn't pick it up and throw it outside

Let's get noticing together.

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Award Winning Vancouver photographer Michele Mateus. If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!

Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out. https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/

Share your love for this episode with me!

Noticing the Ordinary is produced by Michele Mateus.
If this episode caught you, subscribe so you never miss a beat!
 
Please Note: This podcast is about personal sharing, not professional advice. So if you're going through something please reach out to a professional who can really help. I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.https://www.mateusstudios.com/podcast/