Now We Know

This week, with the first Star Wars feature film in years set to hit theaters (the Baby Yoda movie), we unlock from the depths of the Patreon vault... EWOKS: THE BATTLE FOR ENDOR, the 1985 made-for-TV movie starring Warrick Davis as Wicket the Ewok, Wilford Brimley as Noa, Aubree Miller as Cindel, and Carl Struychen (best known as the Giant from Twin Peaks) as King Terak.

Your latest gem from the Now We Know vault — the horrifying Unfrosted, Jerry Seinfeld's return to the world of feature films. There's a surprising number of cameos by actually talented people in this (including the the always-marvelous Andy Daly as the Quaker Oats guy), yet virtually nothing can overcome Seinfeld's unique, and unfortunate, sense of what's funny.

More like HOOP, there it is! On the precipe of his elimination from the 2026 NBA playoffs, at the hands of the similarly odious Oklahoma City Thunder, our latest unlock from the Patreon vault: it's Space Jam: A New Legacy, the confused semi-hagiography of LeBron James. Primarily addressing his struggles to be a good father (not to the real LeSperms, Bronny or Bryce, but a false, Hollywood-invented LeSperm named Dom), it's impossible to overstate how little this movie cares about the Looney Tunes. If you like the Tunes, this movie isn't for you!

Open sesame, you say, standing at the hunk of solid rock you presume covers the way into the Now We Know vault - or maybe the Now We Know mine?

Your Patreon unlock for this week: 2025's "live" "action" Snow White "remake," featuring such characters as the titular White, her auto-tuned plasticine boyfriend, the "dwarves," and an evil queen who sounds an awful lot like she's got enough champagne to fill the Nile. Really touching how they handled Dopey in this one.

Your latest unlock from the annals of the Now We Know Patreon...

To hell with The Money Pit! No, we Are Not Done Yet! Forget these modern iterations — it's Cary Grant and Myrna Loy who pioneered the disastrous home improvement form with Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. Originally released in 1948, making this one of if not the oldest feature film we've covered, this light comedy about the perils of falling in love with the dream home in your head made for a refreshing palate cleanse.

FOR MORE POD MY CHILDREN, SUBSCRIBE HERE: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Browser

The show must go on. Brooke runs a limited hangout on Trevor with an artificial insemination fib, Jeremy can't seal the deal, Sarah doesn't want to sign David's pile of papers, and Palmer trusts Opal with some big business — but does he even remember doing so?

--------------

From one-half of the duo that made Now We Know no worse than your third-favorite show (Kevin has no taste in old soap operas) comes POD MY CHILDREN, the PREEMINENT number ONE QUALITY ALL MY CHILDREN PODCAST! Join Chris and a barrage of familiar guests as he dives into an unwilling pastime of his youth — his grandmother's non-negotiable "TV's busy for the next hour" daily soap opera — with a commitment and granularity few can match. We start off with the first episode of All My Children's 21st season, original air date January 2nd, 1991.

If you like what you hear, subscribe! Now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!

Your latest bit of precious ore from the Now We Know Patreon mines — it's our dive into Roger Corman's never-released 1994 Fantastic Four movie, which, depending on who you ask, was created as an exercise in rights management with no intention of every seeing the light of day (although they certainly didn't tell the cast or crew that). Would this have been the first great Marvel movie if the cruel forces of capital hadn't intervened? No!

SUBSCRIBE HERE: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Browser

(Hey all, it's Chris. I got a new show out! If you like Now We Know this could be right up your alley, I'll push a few promos over the NWK feed in the next couple of weeks. I hope you like it, and if you do, help me out and subscribe!)

From one-half of the duo that made Now We Know no worse than your third-favorite show (Kevin has no taste in old soap operas) comes POD MY CHILDREN, the PREEMINENT number ONE QUALITY ALL MY CHILDREN PODCAST! Join Chris and a barrage of familiar guests as he dives into an unwilling pastime of his youth — his grandmother's non-negotiable "TV's busy for the next hour" daily soap opera — with a commitment and granularity few can match. We start off with the first episode of All My Children's 21st season, original air date January 2nd, 1991.

If you like what you hear, subscribe! Now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!

Your latest unearthed treasure, from the whispering catacombs of the Now We Know Patreon. It's Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, the 2023 flick which... was pretty fun! Between this and the smash hit video game Baldur's Gate 3 from the same year, Dungeons and Dragons media has been on a bit of a hot streak lately. Although for the movie, that's solely in the "huh that's pretty good!" department; the box office returns, in a world where THE LION KING (2018) made 1.6 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!?!?!?!, were underwhelming.

Your latest offering, from the depths of the Now We Know vault: our "dive" (heh heh) into 2023's The Little Mermaid, the live* action** remake*** of the Disney animated classic. Featuring some new original songs from Lin-Manuel Miranda, and the voice acting talents of the lovely miss Awkwafina!!!! Sounds fun right??????????