In this episode, I walk through the steps that lead to acting out. With every slip or relapse, I like to ask the question, "Where did you lose the battle?" It certainly was not the moment you clicked on the link or when you chose to watch that movie. It was way before that. It was when you failed to take care of yourself by not processing pain and choosing to isolate. The goal is that we begin to recognize when we are in steps 1, 2 or 3 (which are before temptation even starts) and we follow the plan for taking care of ourselves in naming, questioning, sharing and moving. 

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In this episode, I talk about what it looks like to make a plan for all the areas in our lives where temptation starts to show up. As Benjamin Franklin said, "If you fail to plan then we plan to fail." Our passivity would tell us to wing it. Just hope that the next time you're tempted, it'll be easier. That's not a plan. Creating a plan looks like first naming the places we'll need it. I call those speed bumps and battlefields. Speed bumps are the unexpected moments of emotional dysregulation, visual/mental triggers, disrupted routines and rituals started. Battlefields are the times, places and situations where we have the most struggle. These need to be identified and then a plan created for each.

I'll walk through what our plans need to entail in order to make sure we are taking good care of ourselves so that we are planning for victory.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

Humans are predictable because humans are habitual. Our repeated behaviors can be identified in series of cues, responses and rewards. As we continue to grow and mature, we can learn to identify our addictive cycles, the rituals within them and the triggers that start them. In doing so, we become adept at interrupting our cycles with well-laid plans. Name the trigger, Question it with curiosity, Share it with someone and Move away from it. 

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In the throes of addiction, we most often lead ourselves into temptation rather than being caught completely off-guard. Therefore, it's important for us to identify how our environment, our routines and our media consumption contribute to our constant battles with temptation. Let's look at the habits we've created that may not be inherently bad but are ultimately unhelpful in getting us to where we want to go. 

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In this episode, I talk about how we relieve our passivity of the old ways of doing things. We can do this by gathering evidence that what I've been afraid of is not actually going to bring me down or take me out. I begin to do the courageous act, to engage when I'd rather disengage, to be intentional when I'd rather rationalize my way into inaction and to take ownership when it'd be easier to blame someone else for my issues.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In this episode, I talk about our pursuit of comfort and what it's stealing from us. Our goal in working hard is not to arrive at a place of comfort but that we get comfortable with discomfort. Why? Because discomfort is the only way I grow and progress. Porn, and addiction in general, thrive on mindsets and behaviors that are either comfort-seeking or discomfort-avoidant. We can begin to change that in our own lives.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In this episode, I talk about how our passivity is just a part of us that has good intentions to protect us but ineffective strategies in leading us to where we actually want to go. The part of us that's passive doesn't need to "die". It just needs a new goal and a new strategy.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

This episode kicks off a series on passivity: what does it look like in our lives, what does it cost us and what can we do about it.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

This episode rounds out the series on pain. How do we find emotional regulation when we are feeling emotional dysregulation (pain)?

Key points:
1. Pain is not bad. It's a message
2. Name it
3. Get curious to find out its source
4. Get connected aka co-regulate
5. Self-regulation techniques

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn

In this episode of Numb to Known, I dive into the power of engaging with our stories of past pain. Drawing on insights from Dan Allender, Adam Young’s The Place We Find Ourselves, Jay Stringer’s Unwanted, and my book Numb to Known, I explore how facing past hurts can transform our present lives. I’ll look at how brain science and scripture both reveal the importance of processing pain instead of burying it, breaking the patterns that fuel addiction and unhealthy behaviors. Tune in to learn practical steps for healing, the role of compassionate self-reflection, and how sharing our stories in safe relationships can lead to freedom and fullness in life.

--Links--

Online Small Group
One-on-One Coaching
Book: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn