End Song: "Squandered" by Salvage

00:00:00 – Cold Open, Social Media "Raw Sewage," and the Kimmel Setup The guys kick off with snack banter and a barking "producer dog," then vent about the internet's sewage firehose and culture-war escalation—teasing the night's first big story: ABC suspending Jimmy Kimmel after his Charlie Kirk bit.

00:10:00 – Kimmel vs. Disney: The Contract Chess Match They read coverage framing Bob Iger and Disney caught between D.C. pressure and Hollywood outrage, play Kimmel's clip about Kirk, and argue Disney may just be hunting a morals-clause exit more than defending speech.

00:20:00 – "Free Speech" or Just Business? A sharper take on free-speech claims: the FCC can't outlaw Kimmel; platforms and affiliates can still walk. They contrast today's outrage with past deplatformings (e.g., Alex Jones) and point out the inconsistency of everyone's "principles."

00:30:00 – The Australia Mix-Up & Ratings Reality They laugh over hundreds of Kimmel complaints misdirected to Australia's ABC, then note ratings and affiliate ad pressure may matter more than politics. Protest optics aside, reruns could probably match his numbers.

00:40:00 – Burchett, SKIFs, and "Deep-Water Entities" Pivot to UFOs/USOs: Rep. Tim Burchett's chatter about craft emerging from deep water; SKIF whispers around David Grusch; frustration that hearings recycle stories without subpoenaing the real gatekeepers.

00:50:00 – Invisible Residents: Classic USO Cases A tour through Ivan T. Sanderson's 1970 book: cigar-shaped blue-white craft pacing a ship, diving beneath the hull, and WWII-era objects surfacing then shooting skyward—suggesting surveillance patrols and ocean "bases."

01:00:00 – Viral "Meteor Slime" Debunk That TikTok "living meteorite" from Panama? Great practical effects, not aliens. They cite polymer/hexane demo videos showing the exact wriggle behavior; fun Halloween content, just not real.

01:10:00 – The Hat Man: Sleep Paralysis or Shadow Entity? Deep dive into the Hat Man meme: neuroscientists say it's culture-shaped sleep paralysis; the show entertains that plus the paranormal angle (shadow people, MIB parallels). Listeners share eerily similar accounts.

01:20:00 – Call-Ins: Ouija, Weird Sleep, Witching Hour Callers recount Ouija board weirdness and a rash of 1–3 a.m. wake-ups. The crew swaps remedies and wonders—half-joking—if celestial strangeness is messing with everyone's sleep.

01:30:00 – Jezebel's "We Hired Witches" Piece Gets Pulled They review the Jezebel article boasting an Etsy curse on Charlie Kirk (later edited/removed post-assassination), debate ethics of "satire" about hexes, and note a new doc where a guy seeks to be cursed to test effects.

01:40:00 – Are Whales Trying to Talk to Us? From crop circles to "bubble circles": humpbacks blowing rings around swimmers/boats as possible communication; shoutouts to bioacoustic playback experiments and Star Trek IV's "talk to the whales" lesson.

01:50:00 – Akron Lawn-Mower Caper & Dumb-Crime Detour Ohio man allegedly flips school-district mowers on Facebook Marketplace—embezzlement or just brazen stupidity? They roast the scheme (and marketing tactics).

02:00:00 – Flying Cars Crash, Duct-Taped Commuter & Sign-Off Chinese VTOL "flying cars" collide during an airshow rehearsal; the crew imagines an Amazon drone commuter basket and jokes about a duct-taped rider sipping a Slurpee. Closing plugs and "watch the skies…and drones."

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