00:00:00 – Year-end show sign-off and holiday break plans 00:04:55 – Obedient Christmas parody and copyright paranoia 00:09:43 – Brown shooting "case closed" vibes and the "shut up" clip 00:24:41 – Epstein files photo dump and redaction drama 00:33:30 – Trump's Patriot Games pitch for America 250 00:37:28 – Astrology "fourth turning" framing for U.S. cycles 00:41:49 – Patriot Games culture-war line and sports obsession rant 00:46:36 – Georgia signature controversy and 2020 recount talk 00:51:20 – Christmas ghost stories and the BBC promo roast 00:55:32 – Toilet-break lawsuit and the China bathroom timer universe 01:02:14 – Drawbridge of donations roll call 01:07:19 – Call-in chaos: psyops, Fuentes, and Venezuela oil 01:21:43 – Psychic Bigfoot remote viewing goes full X-Files 01:31:48 – Quebec schools consider helmets for snow-pile recess 01:36:48 – Harvard morgue body-part trafficking sentencing update 01:41:47 – Cat-in-the-HOV-lane ticket sparks dependent loophole jokes 01:46:41 – Amazon cat helmets and the kitty-astronaut bubble 01:51:13 – Santa-and-elves grocery "food drive" theft debate 01:54:56 – Holiday wrap, travel plans, and show plugs 01:58:16 – Outro: the Obedient Christmas song reprise

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