OCF Crosspoint Podcast

This episode marks the end of an intentional four-episode focus on identity. Last week, I interviewed Grant Johnson about his dream to be a jet pilot and how he wrapped up his identity in what he hoped would be his military career. Today you're going to hear from his wife, LT Hannah Johnson, USN, as she talks about her struggles with spiritual perfectionism, and as she says, the fear of being a fraud or being found out.

I started this episode with a short passage from Paul Tripp's devotional book "New Morning Mercies." Here's what trip has to say about identity, and I hope it's an encouragement to you:

"No need to search for myself. No need to grasp for meaning for my life or purpose for what I do. No need to hope for inner peace, that sense of wellbeing for which every heart longs. No need to hope that someone or something will make me happy or give me joy. I no longer need any of these things because grace has connected me to you, and you have named me your child."

As you listen to Hannah's story of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession, here are a few questions to ponder:

• Have you ever asked yourself this question about your calling to the military: "God must not have called me to this because this is impossible and I don't belong here"? How did you work through the doubts?
• When it comes to your identity, if you had to give an elevator speech on who you are, how would you respond?
• Hannah said that she struggled with thinking that in order to glorify God, she had to "have it all together and get it all right." Have you struggled with similar spiritual perfectionism? In what way?
• Fear of failure or of being seen as a fraud is a label that Hannah says she has struggled with during her military career. What fears are defining you right now? How can your identity in Christ help you combat those fears?
• Colossians 3:17 (and 3:23-24) are Scripture passages that Hannah says have been pivotal in her understanding of identity and also how that works itself out in her purpose. What Scripture references are your "go-to" verses in your understanding of your identity in Christ?

Think about something in your life that you really, really wanted. It was always on your mind, and when you had the chance to finally grab hold of whatever it was you were wanting or striving toward, you came up short.

As we continue this multi-episode focus on the topic of identity, you're going to hear from LT Grant Johnson, USN, as he shares his story of dreaming to be a jet pilot, only to come up short. If you subscribe to OCF's COMMAND magazine, then you might have seen the article on identity in the Fall of 2020 that featured both Grant, and his wife, LT Hannah Johnson, USN. You'll hear from Hannah in the next podcast episode.

Today, Grant's going to unpack his story from that article in a bit more detail. You'll hear about how that experience of coming up short shook his faith and his identity, and also what he's still learning about his himself.

As you listen to Grant's story, here are a few questions to ponder:

• Has there been a time in your life where you found yourself willing to ignore personal relationships, even your faith, to achieve a deeply held dream?
• How does mourning the loss of falling short of a goal or no longer being able to do it help you to accept what God wants to do differently in your life? Or does it?
• Think of a difficult time or circumstance in your life. What are some things from that experience that have made it possible to thank God or even be joyful about?
• Why is it important to recognize exactly what your identity is rooted in? How does what you deem as the priorities in your life negatively or positively shape your identity?
• How does processing your ambitions, goals, and dreams with God and trusted mentors or peers help you assess the condition of your heart concerning your identity?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

In this episode, OCF Communications Intern Joshua Schumacher interviews MAJ Lynda Johnson, USA (Ret.).

Who am I? That was the big question behind the article that I wrote for COMMAND magazine in the fall of 2020.

The article, which focused on the topic of identity, briefly included the story of Lynda Johnson and how her identity was shaken after she was told she couldn't run anymore unless she wanted to risk more damage to her health. As it turns out, there is a whole lot more to her story than what we covered in COMMAND. Today, you'll hear both her life story and the story of how she found her identity in Christ as she shares her testimony of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

As you listen to Lynda's story, here are four questions to consider:

1. Lacking her Christ-centered identity, Lynda's self-described work ethic was a "dream for bosses" but a "nightmare for subordinates and peers." How would those you lead describe your treatment of them?
2. What do you think Lynda means when it comes to identifying in Christ that "I longer see myself as the star of my movie that God had already seen before"?
3. "Embracing powerlessness in self" is an important aspect of developing our identity in Christ. How does the restraint of our power in our professional, personal, and societal relationships allow others to benefit?
4. Meekness is fully grasping God's grace, to receive what we're undeserving of, such as eternal life. How does having our identity in Christ help us model the meekness He demonstrated in a world that scorns meekness as weakness?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

Christian athlete and Marine aviator are two things first lieutenant Aaron Zimmerman wanted to be known for. Aaron comes from a family that absolutely loves lacrosse, and he says, "if my family had its own crest, it would include a lacrosse stick."

Aaron's story is one that deals not only with the struggles of how we want to define ourselves, but also how God is continually working in our lives, chipping away at the rough edges, molding us, shaping us, and ultimately crushing our idols of identity.

For Aaron, that meant going from high school All American in lacrosse, to playing from the bench as a backup at the Naval Academy. Then as a Marine, a medical diagnosis would ground his aspirations of being a Marine aviator.

As you listen to his story, here a few questions to ponder:

1. Aaron says his lacrosse dreams slipped into an obsession that had "too much power and became an idol." Is there an activity, aspiration, or relationship that has crossed into something you idolize?
2. He acknowledges "not allowing people to speak into my life as would have been beneficial." Do you allow trusted loved ones or those in a good Christian community to speak into your life? If not, why?
3. Aaron initially asked God, "If I wasn't making flight school and my Marine Corps career an idol like I had lacrosse, then why did you take it away from me?" How does a right relationship with Christ help counter feelings of disappointment or loss?
4. Once officers and enlisted leave the military, there can be a struggle over a lost sense of identity. As a leader, how would you encourage those you lead to not make their military service their identity?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Comment below or email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

On the evening of Jan. 23, 2015, Marine Corps Maj Elizabeth Betsy Kealey and Capt Adam Satterfield were piloting their helicopter above the high desert landscape of Twentynine Palms, Calif., when a catastrophic malfunction caused the Huey to plummet to the ground. Both Marines died in the crash.

Kealey graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy with honors in 2005, and she received her pilot's wings in September of 2007. She deployed twice with the 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit and once in support of Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. Kealey's mother, Chris Thompson, said Betsy was remembered by many as a woman devoted to her faith, to her family, and to her friends. Chris shared a couple of entries from Betsy's journal:

"This quote is from Betsy's journal when she was on the trek during Rocky Mountain High at Spring Canyon. She said, 'I pray that my focus on this trek is hearing from you and loving all of your people. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'

"Another quotation from her journal was how to witness, and this was later that same year, 2005. She was asking questions in her journal: 'How can I witness. How can I be more than just righteous? I can look for opportunities to talk about the Lord, have faith in the Lord's plan for my life, let others see me spending time with the Word.'"

In this episode, Chris shares her story of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession by telling Betsy's story and offering insights on life as a Gold Star Mother.

As you listen to her story, here are a few questions to ponder:

1. Based on her journal entry, Betsy endeavored to do three things as a Christian serving in the military: "I can look for opportunities to talk about the Lord, have faith in the Lord's plan for my life, let others see me spending time in the Word." How about you? What things define your witness as you serve in uniform?
2. Betsy left a legacy of living out her faith everywhere that she went and allowing her faith to affect those around her. What would your legacy be?
3. If you're a Gold Star Mother, have you seen God at work? How has he revealed himself to you?
4. If you know a Gold Star Mother, when's the last time you reached out to them just to talk or pray? If it's been a while, consider contacting them today.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

Capt Rico Lane, USAF, shares his story of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

His "blessedtimony" (that's a nod to his ministry, Blessedtimony) includes three primary themes. First, a big part of his story revolves around fatherhood: how our earthly fathers can often influence what we think about our Heavenly Father. Faith is a second theme in his story. You'll hear about his two tours in Iraq and how witnessing the devotion of the Muslims in the area really caused him to question Christianity and what it means to be a follower of Christ. Then there's family, and specifically how God used the Bible verse text messages of a grandfather to begin changing Rico's life.

Also, take a closer look at Rico's ministry: https://linktr.ee/Blessedtimony%C3%82%C2%A0

As you listen to Rico's story, here are three questions to ponder:

1. Think about your relationship with your earthly father. How has it shaped your interactions and beliefs about your Heavenly Father?
2. Rico talks about how seeing the religious devotions of Muslims (specifically, Muslim fathers) shook his own faith and belief in God when he wasn't yet a believer. What has shaken your faith, and how did you respond?
3. How are you using your story, or "blessedtimony," to point others to Christ?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

Today, Capt Becky Haggerty, USAF, shares her story of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

This episode starts with an original composition from Becky called "I Speak." She wrote the song in 2015 and says it's about praying to God and feeling like He's just not hearing you. That's a theme that she says would become more applicable in the coming years. You see, Becky's story is one of battling through anxiety and self-worth. It's a story that tells of her journey to be in a right relationship with her Heavenly Father even when it seems like life sometimes has more valleys than mountaintops, even when it seems like God just doesn't care.

As you listen to Becky's story, here are four questions to ponder:

1. In her song, Becky sings about speaking to God and feeling as if He isn't hearing her. Can you recall a time in your military career (or life) when you wondered the same thing? What was your response?
2. Are you struggling with a mentality of perfectionism, or some of the attributes that often accompany it—inadequacy, self-worth, and self-hate? What do you think drives you to strive for being perfect?
3. How do you cope with the stresses of military life? What spiritual support systems do you have in place?
4. When you face trials and tribulations, and life just isn't going as planned, do you find yourself wanting to rush to the mountaintop and focus on being only optimistic, or do you take time to rest in your struggles and see how God might be trying to grow you—even if it's uncomfortable? Why?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

You can listen to her song in its entirety at the end of the episode, starting at 40:27. Here are the lyrics to "I Speak":

I speak.

I speak, can you hear me?

Lord, can you hear me?

And I speak,

Cause they tell me you're near.

So I speak.

And I speak.

But I don't know where we're headed, or where we'll go.

And I can't see in the distance what you already know.

And I can't feel your redemption washing me as white as snow.

So I let go,

Give you control,

And I speak, on my knees.

Lord, teach me to trust you.

Cause you're all I have.

I'm alive through you.

So with this breath in my lungs, these scars on my heart…

I'm here, nowhere to start,

So I speak.

And I speak.

Cause you hear me.

You're near; hear my prayers.

Yes, you're near; hear my prayers. (repeats twice)

God, I can't see beyond me. I can't let go.

At times I feel so hopeless. Why is this so?

Help me to hand to you my heart, my mind, my soul.

Jesus, let's go… we'll walk this road.

Jesus, you know… mine eyes please show.

When I speak.

In this episode, you'll hear the story of 2nd Lt Chip Chu, USAF. When I interviewed Chip over a year ago, he was still a Firstie at the Air Force Academy. COVID-19 wasn't exactly a household word yet. There was no point of reference or context for things like "flatten the curve," "social distancing," "wear your mask"… or who could forget the "8pm howl" for first responders and medical personnel in the early days of the pandemic?

As you listen to Chip's story, here are some questions to ponder:

• Think of your own story. When was the first time you recall hearing about God, Jesus, and the concepts of sin, grace, and salvation? How did you respond?
• Chip described OCF as his "family." If you're involved in OCF, how would you describe it? If you are not involved in OCF, do you have a body of believers to come alongside you?
• What did you think about the three challenges Chip talked about—figuring out the future; struggling with competition and identity; and properly using our time and resources? How have you struggled with these in your military career?
• What was your key takeaway from Chip's story?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me at [email protected] or [email protected].

About Chip

Second Lieutenant Chipu Chu is a Master's of Asian International Affairs candidate at the University of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa. Originally from Princeton, N.J., Chip earned his commission from the U.S. Air Force Academy in 2020 and will serve as a logistics readiness officer upon completing his master's program. Chip joined OCF in 2016 after basic cadet training and served as the cadet-in-charge at OCF USAFA during his Firstie (senior) year. He currently resides in Honolulu, HI.

OCF Crosspoint returns April 26 with a new season and new stories of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

In some of the episodes coming up this season, you'll find that struggling through adversity is at least one common thread as guests tell their stories. They all went through their own type of liminal space: They all struggled with the loss of what was, and they all faced the uncertainty, maybe even anxiety of what was next.

As you wait for this next season of OCF Crosspoint to launch, take some time to catch up on previous episodes of the podcast, and be sure to subscribe to the show wherever you listen to podcasts so that you'll always get the latest episodes of OCF Crosspoint when they're released.

If you have an idea for a topic that should be considered, or if you know of a story that needs to be told, send an email to [email protected].

Today, you're going to hear the story of Midshipman Isaiah Walker, he's a senior in the ROTC program at Ole Miss who has struggled with isolation and the challenges of integrating faith and profession. I first heard about Isaiah from Lt Col Tom Falconer, USAF (Ret.). Tom's a longtime OCF member, and he's also a local leader and area coordinator in the Colorado Springs area.

What caught my attention about Isaiah's story is how he found out about OCF in the first place—it was through this podcast. A key takeaway from Isaiah's story comes from his struggle to integrate faith and profession, which largely is a result of isolation and feeling alone. As Isaiah shares his story, you'll hear how important community is in the life of the Christian serving in the military. And if you find yourself relating to Isaiah in this regard, then I hope you'll be encouraged by his story.

If you're in need of community with other Christians serving in the military, check out the OCF Directory to see if there's a group near you, or contact me directly at [email protected].

This episode also includes a special appearance by CPT Lindsey Bowen, USA, who was my guest in episode 54, along with her husband, CPT Joshua Bowen, USA.

There are also references to three previous Crosspoint podcasts:

Episode 54: The Importance of Small Group Fellowship

Episode 5: Thriving in the Unbalance

Episode 2: Navigating the Storms of Life

// Quotes from this episode:

"I probably took ROTC a little too seriously the first three years—freshman, sophomore, junior year—you know, prepping for officer candidate school that we go to after our junior year. And I can count on one hand how many times that I went out and hung out with friends during those three years" (Isaiah Walker on neglecting community).

"You know, my church friends, they understood my spiritual life, what's going on there and everything. But anytime I tried to bring up the military, they had no idea what was going on. They didn't know how to address it or anything like that" (Isaiah Walker on the struggle of finding indigenous fellowship).

"I can say the support I've received from OCF has been absolutely insane. Ever since I kind of listed myself as the local leader/member [at Ole Miss], I've gotten email after email, phone call after phone call, and meeting after meeting from the OCF community and OCF members. You just really find out how tight knit a community it is" (Isaiah Walker on finding fellowship within OCF).

"God wants to be involved in every single aspect of your military career because he is the reason you're there and he's the reason you're serving. So in everything you do, whether it's leading an infantry unit in combat or it's waking up and going over logistics for a mission to come about or getting up and going to PT, you know, God wants to be there. He wants you to acknowledge him. So I would just say to anyone listening—ROTC or officer Corps or military period—make sure you're including Christ and every ounce of your military specialty" (Isaiah Walker's key takeaway from the conversation).

"When a new person shows up to your group, it may be such a big leap for them to show up or to have even come at all to even contacted you. So be there for them. Take interest in them as much as you can with how many people you're already taken care of. When people feel that you care about them, that's when they'll continue to show up for you" (Lindsey Bowen on making new people feel welcome to your small group).