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As the new year comes,
each day is a new kind of
dilemma, as my heart
begins to think about
whether certain things
would begin from where
I left or whether something
new will surprise me,
honestly, it gives me a lot of
anxiety because firstly I wasn't
even ready to leave things behind,
and to accept alternatives that
were enforced upon me without my will,
and secondly, it is really scary
to begin with something new.
And then they pretend to
move on by filling out the
emotional gaps in their life,
in place of my absence
with the presence of
someone new whom
they barely know,
they will still be reminded
of the ways i gave them
attention without even
calling them mine.
I choose myself today,
not over you,
I can never do that
and you know that well,
I just chose the new me
over my past self.
I am not losing myself
in the crowd,
I am just waiting long enough
to be found.
this time I will be found
smiling with hope,
a hope that would be
stabilising me...
for a very long period,
lifting my strength
and patience,
until my prayers
are heard.
I should have chosen
my happiness more boldly,
but i chose to stay with
your sadness,
if this feeling of longingness
doesn't make you see love,
then i can't help you make
understand...
what you deserve.
It's strange,
how the pain keeps growing,
with no cure,
no painkiller,
and with no love,
in every heart at the
same velocity.
I was afraid at that
time and so was he,
how could i be so selfish,
how could i not see,
we were of the same age
hanging in between.
From the publisher's feed
Hey! This is me, Nikita Gandhi author of Flying Beneath The Clouds and Hear Me This Time. I used this name for my podcast because I feel that it's fine to be odd sometimes, in a world full of even.…
You can find me on Instagram: @oddoyster