Where shall we begin, Dear Listener? Oh I know! The toilet. It's a riotous week for podcasting, gang, replete with questionable topics, sex dream recaps, depilitories gone wild, and — you guessed it — how many fingers is Melissa holding up?

We go there, kids. And there, and there, and oh my goodness there, too.

Definitely not suitable for the kids this week. But as the french pole vaulters say, I got your medal right here.