OME Presents: What Did We Just Watch

I’m not sure if I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger’s attempt at a meta satire of the Hollywood action movie, the Last Action Hero in the cinema. I probably did. I know I saw Jurassic Park (which came out the same day) but I saw that one much later, and maybe on VHS…and full disclosure, I was mostly unimpressed. I just couldn’t connect to the big dinosaur movie the way one of my closer friends did, but he also worshiped ol’ Speilberg, while I was still experimenting with schlock & art cinema in my 17th year on this dustball we call home.

When I did see the Last Action Hero, I thought it was ok, and with a shrug I went on about my day. See, the flick is weird, and seemingly in a similar way that Super Mario Brothers was, a behind the scenes mess and it shows on screen. Here, as with SMB, a lot of the problem lies in the script; a case of too many cooks. Along with the initial writers, Zak Penn and Adam Leff, the film features writers Shane Black and David Arnott, who were credited with screenplay, but also had William Goldman do a one million dollar polish, but even Carrie Fisher had a go at the script! The result is a film that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be, but even then, somehow manages to entertain, if you let it. Which in my old age, I’ve decided to let go and let God, let the dumb movie do it’s thing. If it’s irredeemable I’ll certainly feel it…otherwise maybe we’ll have a neat little conversation about it. And I think we do…

So join us, if you please, as we discuss the wildly uneven Hollywood Blockbuster satire that is The Last Action Hero

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Nothing screams summer to me more than ‘teen movies’ made in sunny Southern California. They don’t even have to be set during the summer. California is ideal for year round shooting for a reason after all. So, why not have a guest from So Cal for this episode about Gregg Araki’s Teenage Apocalypse flick NOWHERE? and that’s exactly what we have in Courtney Penley . (She’s also a film student whose whole life is about film, so the qualifications are there).

But why Nowhere? It’s a summer flick as per my aforementioned criteria, but it’s also flippin’ weird. Much of it is shot like a music video and it’s cast is populated with both mid 90s IT KIDS (Christina Applgate, Jordan Lad, Rachel True, James Duval, Ryan Phillippe, Heather Graham) and a stunt cast of old timers like Beverly D’Angelo, John Ritter, Joe Isuzu, Christopher Kinight and Eve Plumb. Scenes work more like non-sequitur than story, but there is one here, and it’s nonsensical. Dark (played by James Duval) is having his teen life crisis, worried about everything, daydreaming about whom he should love and be loved by and also maybe he sees reptilian aliens…but whatever is going on with him, he senses a great deal of general foreboding, as if the end of the world will happen and he’s the only one who knows about it.

This is a film full of sex, drugs and a mostly really good soundtrack (i say ‘mostly’ because I don’t care for hole) and also joining the conversation is show regular, Elbee as we try to figure out what’s up with Nowhere.

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1989 was not a strong year for conventional film. But for weirdo movies, it did OK. For example, this episode is about Meet the Hollowheads (otherwise known as Life on the edge). Written by Lisa Morton & Tom Burman with Burman directing, Hollowheads is possibly the strangest pg-13 movie to come out of ’89, maybe strangest from any year. I often describe the film as “a live-action Jetsons meets Eraserhead by way of Pee-wee’s playhouse.”

Starring John Glover, Nancy Mette, Richard Portnow & Juliette Lewis, Hollowheads tells the tale of “the boss is coming to dinner!” and seems, on paper, to be just that simple. But as the film unfolds, we are witness to the everyday strangeness that is just so commonplace for those living “life on the edge”. You see, the Edge is the setting, the ‘world’ so to speak. We only once venture out into it, and yet nary get a clear glimpse of what the Edge actually looks like. But it seems to be a world populated with tubes and ducts and pipes and plumbing of every sort. There are strange creatures on the periphery, that to those living on the Edge are just as innocuous as a peanut butter & softening jelly sandwich. “What’s softening jelly?”, you ask…Why don’t you watch the film and get back to me about that, because, I really just don’t know.

Joining me to discuss the film is Mike Delaney , who also has made a film called Medias Res that is set to be released toward the end of July 2019 via Amazon Prime (more info can be found about it here). Mike also has a podcast (that both Elbee & I have contributed our silly voice acting to from time to time. In fact my input is minimal compared to Mike’s because he’s the HOST of the show) called the Splathouse Podcast. Splathouse is not dissimilar to WDWJW in that they sometimes cover strange films, however, they cover a lot more schlock than I’m willing to.

That said, Mike seems to have been the perfect guest to talk Hollowheads with, especially since he has the freshest, most virginal eyes between us. That is to say, He’d never even heard of the movie before. And I’m willing to wager that you haven’t either. So watch the flick (provided below) and then listen to our attempt to make sense of it all!

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In 65 years since his debut as a metaphor for the dangers of nuclear weapons, Godzilla has gone from terrifying monster to pop culture darling. He has done battle with various Kaiju creatures (including the mighty King Kong,) and even some lesser known foes such as Marvel Comic’s Avengers and even some famous sportsball player named Charles Barkley (for a 1992 Nike commercial of all things.)

For his 50th anniversary and to close out the “millennium” era run of Godzilla films, Toho gave the directorial reigns to Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Alive, Midnight Meat Train) who certainly has a style all his own. Together they gave us Godzilla: Final Wars. Final Wars is a sort-of remake of 1968’s Destroy All Monsters in which Godzilla’s must fight a gauntlet of his mightiest foes in order to stop the bad guys (regrettably, Barkley did not rank high enough to be present here.)

With Devious alien invaders, silly flying vehicles, and mutant super humans, Final Wars is a glorious train wreck of a film. Join Andrew and Jon as they examine the absolute craziest film in a series about men in rubber monster costumes stepping on toys cars and smashing cardboard buildings.

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We started off the year, and continued, with (four months of) schlocky nonsense. I mean a LOT of it. So it’s high time we have a change around here, if only for one episode, before we jump back to doing silly weirdo movies, let’s dig into 1990’s surreal childhood drama, The Reflecting Skin.

Joining me for this episode is Ron Nelson (@acelluloidjam on twitter), who is a kindred kinda fellow to myself when it comes to the way we think about film. No, we don’t like the same exact things, but we do come at films with an appreciation for the difficult, odd & esoteric. Sure, we want the film to feed us, but we don’t mind working for our food, so to speak.

Our film this episode is certainly something that we worked for. It’s about a boy living in the 1950 in a rural town, who has flights of fancy regarding vampires and angels.

Do try to find this film. Currently it’s on Shudder Canada. I’m unsure how you’ll watch it stateside, but maybe you fancy internet users can figure out a way. Some folks call this film Lynchian, but we don’t quite agree with that assessment. Whatever it is, it’s worth a look, especially if you’re schlock fatigued and fancy trying out a hidden gem art film like The reflecting Skin.

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This episode delves into cinematic territory that we have not quite entered or even entertained here on the show. Tokusatsu: Japanese special effects driven superhero stories. Specifically, Mechanical Violator Hakaider.

This film is a mid-90s reboot/spinoff of a villain character from the old 1970s Android Kikaider show. Yet here, he’s presented as a mysterious antihero on an unspoken quest to destroy the oppressive mayor’s fascist regime over Jesus Town.

There are plenty of odd things with this film. You have: freedom fighters, lobotomized dissidents, are-they-or-aren’t-they robot soldiers, the world’s most powerful shotgun, semi-gory walls, a few dream sequences featuring a fairy & the grim reaper, Michael the archangel Android, A very flamboyant mayor & even a cameo by kikaider. All this with Hakaider at the center of it all.

You can somewhat easily find this online (linked below even!), I implore you to watch the film, it’s short enough, and then join us here as Jon and I discuss Mechanical Violator Hakaider.

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This episode sees the return of Michael Cook, primary host of all the shows from Retro Rocket Entertainment, & co-host to the first show I’ve ever been a part of, Videonight! On our first go-round here on WDWJW?!? Michael played it relatively safe with Hudson Hawk, a film so ‘normal’ in its plot but so weird in every other way, that it was a relatively successful episode. But now, through months of deliberation, we bring you a truly weird film, 1993’s FREAKED by director, writer, star Alex Winter .

Freaked also seems to have a simple enough plot: Waning superstar Ricky Coogan is tapped as a shill for the mega-corporation E.E.S. (Everything Except Shoes) to hock a toxic ‘fertilizer’ to unsuspecting South American farmers. He agrees & sets out on a road trip to the base of operations in Santa Flan. He’s joined by his best pal Ernie and his not-so-best gal Julie. On their trip they stop at a tourist trap , FREEK LAND, owned and operated by Elija C. Skuggs (who is one part P.T. Barnum, one part Dr. Moreau). From there, you can imagine the rest, but you shouldn’t. You should see this film & then enjoy our podcast about the film. Ok?

You can view the film (as of this posting) on youtube of all places, so watch it already!

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This episode threw me for a loop, rather. Jon Threw me for a loop.
You’ll hear how/why in this episode soon enough. But let me just say, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters is the most Sam Raimi movie that isn’t directed or produced by Sam Raimi. This is a major sticking point with me on this episode. Don’t get me wrong, I do like this film.

It’s akin to Snakes On A Plane in that the title delivers on its promise. Here, Jeremy Renner plays Hansel and Gemma Arterton plays Gretel and they are mostly convincing as once traumatized siblings who now hunt…WITCHES! It’s an easy enough plot. But I tell you, there are rarely films like this that bring humor, action & weirdness together with such disregard to so-called logic that it amounts to an ultraviolent big screen cartoon, and I am all for that kinda thing when done well.

As usual, I suggest you hunt down a copy of the unrated version of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters so you can follow along with our episode here and hear exactly what Jon said that had me so taken aback.

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Being that it’s the beginning of the year, I figured it’d be good to just unload on you, dear listeners, another SUPER GROSS movie. This episode’s guest, Tom Nix of the podcast “Wrestling is everything” has picked Peter Jackson’s directorial debut Bad Taste.

You may recall that we covered Peter Jackson’s 3rd film Dead Alive a while back. You may further recall that that film was quite disgusting, and that version (a composite of the film’s various versions) was overlong and suffered from having too much gore, too much dumb stuff. Is that also the case with his first film, Bad Taste? Probably.

Bad Taste has a thin premise: Aliens are on earth to abduct humans so they can eat them at their fast food restaurant in space, and the Astro Investigation and Defence Service are there to stop them. However low budget this film is, it’s got signs of a truly creative team behind the camera, not unlike the folks behind the Evil Dead films. If you’re into that kinda film, you’ll probably like this one.

Join Tom Nix and I as we discuss being a late bloomer cinephile, exploding sheep and Bad Taste. 

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Our very first episode was a film by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, and now, for this December episode of 2018, we visit the film Jeunet directed with Marc Caro just prior to his entry of the Alien franchise, this film is The City of Lost Children.

Featuring the talents of Ron Perlman & Dominique Pinon, among a bevy of Jeunet regulars, The City of Lost Children tells the tale of a Mad Scientist (a reoccurring theme here, it seems, at WDWJW) and his inability to dream, and a bunch of clones, a couple of failed experiments along with a ‘kids in peril’ plot wherein a sideshow strongman must team up with some street urchins to rescue his little brother from a sinister cult of one-eyed men called “Cyclops” who kidnap kids for the mad scientist to experiment on! WHEW. All in one breath!

The film is set in what seems to be the late 1920s in some port city in France, maybe? (It’s a French film, but there is a decent English dub available if you don’t like to read your movies.) And it has a science fiction feel and a semi-steampunk aesthetic. It’s very visually interesting, which is just how I like.

Jon joins me for this Christmas-not-Christmas film, and we discuss just exactly how it ISN’T but IS a Christmas movie. That’s why we chose it for the final episode of 2018! If you haven’t seen The City of Lost Children, we’ve provided you the means right here, so please, watch, enjoy and then listen to this episode!

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