One Dry Kiss: An Unofficial Rom-Com Podcast

What happens when you're life gets flip turned upside down? Well.... do we have a brief story for you and explanation for our 2 week break, we'll miss ya Gentle Listeners and are looking forward to sharing the first two episodes of Lily & Dash with you the first Tuesday in December. 

We are at the 6th episode of The White Lotus or as we like to call it 'The Final Countdoooown.' The episode's proper title is Departures and the sh*t is going to hit the fan before all the guests return home...well most of the guests, that is. In this episode we: give a wallpaper interpretation that Tamara will regret forever, put a child leash on Corinne so she doesn't follow a stranger into a windowless van in search of her plunge pool, and discuss dicking around (literally and figuratively). We have very different POVs about the conclusion of this series, but we will save our comment cards for the end of our stay at The White Lotus

We are on the next to the last episode of White Lotus. This one is called 'The Lotus Eaters'...or as Corinne would more aptly title it 'Regrets.' Everyone at the White Lotus is making bad decisions and we are here with our pocket popcorn to watch it all. In this episode we discuss: whether there's a market for romantic dinner funeral cruises (for a sexier way to send loved ones off), how to successfully deal with a 'whole jar of irritated' or a 'bowl full of f*ck off' (hint-it's angry crying, and we're both experts), and why pumpkin patches and dinosaurs always go hand in hand. This whole episode hurts like a pretty little cut but we have no regrets as we round the corner into this (next to the) last episode at the White Lotus resort.

We are on part 4 of The White Lotus which is titled 'Recentering' but would be better titled 'The Episode of Lies' because there's nothing centering about this resort. For example, Rachel's mother in law shows up uninvited to her honeymoon, Tanya gets a questionable suitor, we find out why Paula is gaslighting her 'friend' and Armond gets his face caught in someone's backside. Additionally, in this episode we discuss: the most effective weapon you could find in a resort spa, how dolphins stimulate their nether regions, and how our gentle listeners can play a drinking game by taking a shot everytime we say pointedly (cause it's a lot). We are more than halfway through our stay here at the White Lotus and the train is coming off the tracks. But we are here for the (choo-choo) wild ride. 

We are in Episode 3 of The White Lotus and this episode has everything: mysterious monkeys, sexual innuendos and all kinds of bad decision dinosaurs. The mysterious monkey is Mark who decides to regale his teenage son about his sex life, the sexual innuendos come from Armond who's trying to proposition his employee, and the bad decisions are coming from everyone, like rapid fire. In this episode we discuss the magic of Cracker Barrel, SNL's Bowen Yang as Moo Deng the pygmy hippopotamus, and how some of the hotel guests would miss a red flag even if it was flung in the air by a flag girl squad accompanied by a school band while 'Your a Big Red Flag' was sung to the tune of Grand Ol' Flag. This is the most 'bananasa' episode to date and we are saddling up alongside the other Mysterious Monkeys to enjoy the show and we hope you join us.

We are deep in episode 2 of The White Lotus and things are getting stickier in the relationship departments. The Mossbachers get a bit of good news, the Suttons get deeper into their problematic marriage and the White Lotus staff get stuckier (is that even a word?) into their guests' drama. In this episode we discuss: Thigh Master and Infinity Hoop envy, how Corinne was a more drug savvy child than Tamara, and how The Pineapple Room is Shane's Moby Dick. If this episode were an infomercial we would be hard selling episode 2 of The White Lotus, which you can get absolutely FREE if you tune in NOW! 

We are beginning our new series this week, The White Lotus. It's a dark 'comedy' instead of a rom-com but since we're in October it seems fitting. In our first episode we learn that the White Lotus is a luxury resort in Hawaii where we meet 'The Arrivals': the Mossbacher Family, Tanya McQuoide, and The newlywed Suttons who all have reservations at the posh accommodations. During the first days we realize that everyone has their own secrets and struggles bubbling under the surface that will eventually materialize as the series goes on. In this episode we: give pro travel tips like 'don't travel with your mom's ashes in a garbage bag', discuss whether the 'Pineapple' in the Pineapple Room stands for swingers or hospitality and describe how the glorious Jennifer Coolidge will suck the life out of us (and we'd probably like it). This series has everything diva twins, a prick baby man and the plunge pool Corinne requires so we hope you join us this week for our standing reservation at The White Lotus.

We are at the grand finale of our Four Weddings series, episode 10 (or as we lovingly refer to it episode X) and it's a doozy. We finally get to the last wedding and the big question is who's getting married? There are so many choices: is it Maya and Kash, Ainsley and Bryce, Duffy and Gemma or Tony and Andrew? We will find out together as well as discuss: the difference between a murder invite and a marriage invite, why mailing a letter is a dangerous sport and if your next wedding reception should include a music compilation from 'WOW That's Wedding Music 5 Featuring Little F*ckFace. We are very sad to see this series end but glad we experienced the mega happy ending so we hope you join us for the joy and festivities of Four Weddings and a Funeral Part 10.

We are in the home stretch! It's episode 9 of Four Weddings & a Funeral and this one is chock full of love and betrayal and more love. Maya and Kash finally get together, Duffy and Gemma finally get together, Bryce and Ainsley finally get together and lastly Ainsley gets her 'Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal moment' that we all knew was coming. In this episode: we caution our gentle listeners not to be judgemental Jehovah's, argue whether bridges are more important than immigrants (**hot take their both valuable), and invent an app where Idris Elba comes and rescues you from bad dates. We contemplated titling this episode 'The Shit Hits the Fan, Bruh!' which is super fitting but we hope you find out for yourself and listen to this week's episode of Four Weddings and a Funeral Part 9.

We are on Episode 8, (aka the Ocho) of Four Weddings and a Funeral, and it's chock full of 'Shhhh' secrets. Maya and Kash begin secretly seeing each other 'super casually', Duffy and Gemma secretly try to push Ainsley and Bryce into a relationship, Craig and Zara discover something that will change their relationship forever and we finally get our third wedding. In this episode we discuss: how 'put on a kettle' and 'stick around for tea' are not sexual innuendos, try to spread the good word of 'ODK' (but we're not going door to door), and we revisit Nacho-pocalypse-where flipping a plate of nachos is equivalent to flipping someone off. This is another redo because Corinne's Zoom recorder hates her but the second time's the charm and we hope you join us for Four Weddings and a Funeral part Ocho.