this week we are auctioning off teenage boys. yeah really. we have a big date nite where haley and lucas throw milk at each other, nate gets chewed tf out, brooke and mouth go to a strip club, and dont you worry there is still rampant misogyny all over this dialogue so stuff stays interesting i guess

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this week we're BRINGING IT ON at the sparkle classic cheerleading competition. peyton is trying to win brooke back by assuring their victory with a whole new routine ~and a remix~. nate is excited to play a game without dan in the audience, and luke is charged with teaching nate how to do anything but dunk. and, of course, JUMP SCARE WHITEY

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we're all creeped out during this episode! luke meets a. uh. adult woman at a bar, peyton is babysitting, brooke is PISSED, deb reveals her big secret and nate learns about divorcing his parents

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this week in tree hill, we have weakness. mess. divorce. also luke breaks up with two girls in the same day, lmao. karen gets to scrappin' books and movin' goal posts. nate plays parental tug of war. and the best closing shot in television history.

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this week, luke scott is obviously extremely dead (for about 30 seconds) and then is in a coma for the first of many Hospital Episodes throughout this series. haley feels guilty for being mean to luke, nate says some messed up stuff, and peyton is dodging brooke constantly what with still not telling her about making out with her boyfriend. oh, and dan attempts to fix things with deb like a true romantic: by threatening blackmail

our twitter(s): @onequeerhill @jaxiscrap @crissxcore

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we're forced to be flies on the wall for several cheating plot lines this episode, in between whitey having a coach identity crisis and karen's return. haley does it granny style, and keith drinks chekhov's beer. 

our twitter(s): @onequeerhill @jaxiscrap @crissxcore

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it's the antichrist's birthday this week which means we get a fucked up Scott dinner, love to see it. also, peyton is sent on an unimaginable road trip with the boy she DEFINITELY doesnt secretly love, brooke waits by a phone labelled PLOT MOVEMENT, and nate figures out his life goals, mostly out of spite. 

our twitter(s): @onequeerhill @jaxiscrap @crissxcore

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the drama!! brooke is freaking out about not having anything in common with luke. nate is making big important basketball decisions. peyton's dad learns that kids need parents around? crazy. oh, and dan attends family counseling. lol, lmao even

our twitter(s): @onequeerhill @jaxiscrap @crissxcore

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this week in tree hill, nate is kidnapped by his dad for a golf weekend. it goes about as you'd expect. brooke has apparent emotional amnesia about luke and peyton previously smooching, so peyton distracts herself with haley's open mic planning. luke abandons a sexy pharmacy heist when an adult sees him buying condoms. and, a very special MMMMMUSICAL GUEST

our twitter(s): @onequeerhill @jaxiscrap @crissxcore

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time for a BIG HARROWING GAME in the mid-season finale. luke makes a date deal with brooke and makes some big decisions. nate is slamming performance enhancing drugs, tim is weird. dan is a creepy alligator, deb is a fierce mama bear. 

oh SHIT this episode is 69 minutes long hell yea

CONTENT WARNING- this episode contains discussions of performance enhancing drugs, and characters abusing them. timecodes below are where such discussions take place.

00:13:48-00:14:53

00:17:37-00:21:30

00:49:14-00:52:00