STOP MAKING BABIES!

Two Halloweens ago on the Patreon, we celebrated with a deep dive into the beloved Nicktoon Frank Conniff wrote for in the early-2000's: Jhonen Vasquez's "Invader Zim"!

We're going to talk timing (particularly the bad kind), making test audiences cry, episodes with the atmosphere of stress nightmares, a universe without hope or right angles, whether or not kids can relate to homicidal maniacs, and GIR in all his glory.

Join your wonky yet affable host for mild Hot Topic slams, organ swallowing, and doom. LOTS OF DOOOOOOM!

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan 

Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 

The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.

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Something H.G. Wells probably never thought when writing "The Invisible Man" in 1897: "I hope somebody makes a TV show out of this, one that involves a magical wristwatch."

But that's what happened in 1976 with the debut of "Gemini Man" on NBC. This week, we tell the story of turkey-obsessed Agent Sam Casey and his brief time on-air, a story that involves a long lineage of invisible men on film and television and continues through the present day. No other podcast will cram Ben Murphy, Will Smith, and Daleks into 24 minutes, so join your wonky yet affable host for some very visible shenanigans!

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan 

Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 

The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.

Support the show

The next round of episodes isn't quite ready yet, so we're taking a breather this month with exciting episodes from the Coolness Chronicles Patreon, carefully curated for your curiosity (I like words that begin with "C").

Today we're Reconsidering a RiffTrax classic: the 1989 feature-length Nintendo/Universal Studios commercial "The Wizard". 

We'll discuss the effectiveness of product placement, the magic of watching people play video games, mourning the King Kong Encounter, and the shitty implications of one particular character's vaguely coded autism.

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan 

Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.

Support the show

Last week, we carried on the death march that is the filmography of the worst writer/directors of the 2000s, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. This week, we’re course-correcting by discussing four of the decade’s comparatively highest satirical highlights. We’re going deep into "Not Another Teen Movie", "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist", "Down with Love" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story". It’s a tale that involves shots fired at She’s All That, directors digitally inserting themselves into ‘70s kung-fu flicks, a throwback to the age of sex comedies minus the sex, and the film so laser-accurate and lacerating that it killed the musical biopic.

Join your wonky yet affable host, and thrill as he seems to lose his voice in real-time!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “Kimi" (2022)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan 

Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.Support the Show.

Last week, we wrapped up a deep dive into the "Scary Movie" franchise. This week, we’re going deeper into two of the writers of the original "Scary Movie": Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the worst writer/directors of the 21st century. It’s a tale that involves countless parodies, none of them good, most of them barely parodies. 

"Date Movie". "Epic Movie". "Meet the Spartans". "Disaster Movie". "Vampires Suck". "The Starving Games". "Best Night Ever". "Superfast". Oof. Ouch.

Pray for your wonky yet affable host.

This Week's Recommendation(s): “The Nice Guys" (2016)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.Support the Show.

Last week, we started our deep dive into the "Scary Movie" franchise with the first two installments, and this week we’re wrapping everything up with the David Zucker era: "Scary Movie" 3 through 5. It’s a tale that involves unceremonious firings, even more backbreaking productions, characters rising from the grave AGAIN, remorseful directors, and one parody too many.

Join your wonky yet affable host!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “Hulk" (2003)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.Support the Show.

This week, we’re starting a two-part deep dive into the most financially successful spoof franchise in history: "Scary Movie". There’s no accounting for taste. It’s a tale that involves satires on satires, timely "Matrix" references, insane deadlines, last-minute parodies, and possibly the most lenient R-rating to ever be issued by the MPAA.

Plus, in the second half of this episode, my friend Candy Allison-Smith from "The House That Screams" stops by to help me discuss 2001’s much-maligned rush-job sequel "Scary Movie 2".

Join your wonky yet affable host!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “The Florida Project" (2017)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged.Support the Show.

This week, we return to the well of Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker with three solo films from brothers David and Jerry Zucker: 2001’s mad mad mad mad mad comedy "Rat Race", 2003’s Ashton Kutcher joint "My Boss’s Daughter", and my vote for possibly the most misguided and wrongheaded comedy of the 2000s, "An American Carol". This one’s gonna get rough, folks.

Join your wonky yet affable host!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “The Muppet Movie" (1979)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledgedSupport the Show.

This week, we're concluding our deep dive into the Z-A-Z-indebted familial directing duo the Farrelly Brothers with their final five films: "Fever Pitch", "The Heartbreak Kid", "Hall Pass", "The Three Stooges" and "Dumb and Dumber To".

It’s a tale that involves well-timed baseball seasons, substandard remakes, long overdue and undercooked sequels, and even the return of three aforementioned stooges: Moe, Larry, and Curly.

Join your wonky yet affable host!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledgedSupport the Show.

This week, we're continuing our deep dive into the Z-A-Z-indebted familial directing duo the Farrelly Brothers with their next three films: 2000's "Me, Myself & Irene", 2001's "Shallow Hal" and 2003's "Stuck on You".

It’s a tale that involves inaccurate representations of schizophrenia, inadvisable use of body-distorting fat suits, and even questions regarding Eva Mendes’ disturbing lack of prominence in the “Fast & Furious” series. Obviously, one of these issues is less egregious than the other two.

Join your wonky yet affable host!

This Week's Recommendation(s): “Untitled: The Almost Famous Bootleg Cut" (2001)

For every single episode at least a week early and great WEEKLY bonus episodes, become a Patreon subscriber. For only $5 you can help keep the show alive and enjoy some quality laughs in the process: https://www.patreon.com/coolnesschronicles

Twitter: @coolnesspodryan, Instagram: @thecoolnesschronicles, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coolnesspodryan 


Theme Music by: Bildschirm (bildschirm.bandcamp.com). Artwork by: Lacie Barker. 
 
The clips featured in this podcast were for critical review and parody, which are protected under the Fair Use laws of the United States Copyright Act of 1976. All rights are reserved and acknowledged

Support the Show.