Open Adoption Project

Sharolyn Swenson, an adoptee, joins our special NAM book club episode to discuss Christina Baker Kline’s book “Orphan Train.” If you haven’t read the book yet, please skip this episode to avoid potential spoilers. Sharolyn shares her thoughts and insights after reading the novel. Lanette and Sharolyn delve into the book’s portrayal of adoption and foster care, as well as the historical context of the orphan train movement. They also explore the characters of Vivian and Molly and their struggles with identity, as well as the complexities of adoption and the mother-daughter relationship. Sharolyn shares her personal experience of discovering her Jewish heritage, and Lanette recommends “Orphan Train Rider” by Andrea Warren as a more historically accurate account of the orphan train phenomenon. If you’d like to join the conversation about this book, head over to our social media pages. We welcome your thoughts and discussions.

An adoptee shares her personal journey of adoption and the impact of the book, "The Girls Who Went Away," by Ann Fessler, also an adoptee, in this special NAM book club episode.

"The Girls Who Went Away" is a memoir/biography about mothers who relinquished their children for adoption before Roe v. Wade on her perspective towards his birth mother, leading him to search for her. The adoptee discussion leader in this episode discussed the evolution of adoption practices, the challenges faced by birth mothers in the past, and the importance of open adoption and transparency.

Adoptee Devanie Roberts discusses the book "Far from the Tree" by Robin Benway in this special National Adoption Month book club episode. Please do not listen to these episodes if you have not read these books and do not want to potentially hear spoilers. "Far From the Tree" is discussed through lenses of adoption, and Devanie shares her thoughts after reading it. If you would like to join the conversation about this book, head over to our social media pages. We welcome your thoughts.

Dr. Jeff Thompson discusses how we can establish and maintain psychological safety within relationships. He shares how active listening can enhance connections. We also discuss how to address conflict and find resolutions. This episode offers incredibly valuable insights for anyone looking to improve important relationships, both within the adoption community and beyond.

In our last episode, we discussed Family Communication Patterns Theory (FCPT), which describes how families communicate and create a shared social reality. The theory was developed by Koerner and Fitzpatrick in 2002. In this episode, we discuss how FCPT and how families can improve and enrich communication, applying Dr. Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory, and discussing additional thoughts on how families can evaluate and improve communication patterns.

In this episode, Shaun and Lanette discuss the Family Communication Pattern Theory, by McLeod and Chaffee, and its adoption application. focusing on conformity and conversation orientation, and how these patterns can impact families, particularly in the context of adoption. They analyzed various family dynamics portrayed in movies and TV shows, identifying different communication patterns and their implications. Family Communication Patterns help us understand how childhood family structure impacts adulthood. The model suggests that families fall into four patterns, which vary in degrees of conformity and conversation. The importance of balance in family communication patterns and the need for open dialogue, and the potential influence of parenting styles on children is discussed.

Get the guide, FREE of charge, here: Substance Exposure in Utero: A Guide For Prospective Adoptive Parents

Hi Adoption Friends,

We’re Shaun and Lanette, co-hosts and creators of the Open Adoption Project. We hope this guide is a helpful tool for you as you counsel and discuss how you are able to support and help children exposed to substances in utero. We are so thankful to Dr. Stone for collaborating with us on creating and sharing this guide, and generously offering this resource free of charge through the Open Adoption Project publications.

We hope you’ll check out the Open Adoption Project podcast, where you can learn more about adoption free of charge. On the podcast, we discuss various aspects of adoption. We have a library of over a hundred episodes featuring interviews with adoptees, birth parents, and others. Hosting the show has been immensely educational and impactful for us. We hope that it will be a valuable resource for you as well.

If you want to continue learning, we also offer an openness guide. The Openness Guide for Adoptive Parents: What You Should Know About Open Adoption is available at openadoptionproject.org. All proceeds from this guide go right back into supporting the Open Adoption Project podcast.

We’re thankful to have you here, learning with us and making adoptee-centric decisions. Continually listening to others’ experiences and learning more about adoption has richly blessed our lives and helped us better parent our children. We strongly believe that it will improve your own experiences with parenting and connecting with your children as well, and hope it will also help you build meaningful relationships with birth family members too.

Wishing you all of the best in your endeavors,

The purpose of this research is to understand the context and the decisions women made when deciding to place a child for adoption.

To Participate, need to:

• Be age 18 or older
• Identify as a woman
• Speak & Understand English
• Have placed a child for adoption in the US after ‘94
• Currently reside in the US

Participants will complete: (1) approx. 90 min. interview (in-person or on Zoom). Interview participants will receive a $50 visa gift card.

Participants may participate in a supplemental focus group (via Zoom). Focus group participants will receive a $10 visa gift card.

Website: https://linktr.ee/first.families.project

Email us to get started! Fill out this form or [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/First-Families-Project/61560684895325/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7A1-NgLKSf/?img_index=1

Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. Dr. Rowley's book, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, was published by Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023. With his background as a psychotherapist and educator, his interest in Jungian psychology and Zen Buddhism, Dr. Rowley discusses what fundamental core experiences adoptees share, how the adopted child reckons with the paradox of a comfortable upbringing and a powerful emotional loss, and how early childhood wounds result in “primitive agonies” that cause disproportionate emotional reactions. He also discusses what relational complexities are especially inherent to most, if not all, adoptees. Learn more at stephenrowley108.com/memoir/.

We also share information about the First Families Project, researching birth mother experiences. To learn more about this research go to https://linktr.ee/first.families.project

Amy Seek shares her experiences with adoption as a birth mom, and how her relationship with her son has evolved. She shares about the importance of transparency and honesty in open adoption conversations and the need for improved ethical practices as we strive to better support mothers and their children.

Amy’s book “God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birthmother”

Other Resources:

Concerned United Birthparents

Saving our Sisters

NAAP First Families support group

Donor Conceived Best Practices and Connections

Right to Know

Untangling Our Roots, an annual summit of adoptees and DCP providing education around best practices for the affected people

Open Adoption: Not so Simple Math

You can reach Amy at [email protected]