Open Air Talk

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A couple of years ago, I wrote a scathing article about LinkedIn and its shiny, chrome-plated surfaces. I compared it to a shopping mall so polished that you could hardly see the shop names.

I thought I understood what I was looking at. Then I changed my mind.

A visit to a car show gave me another perspective. Behind those expensive vehicles were people with stories of heartbreak, hard work, years of restoration, and determination. What looked like showing off could also be the culmination of a very personal journey.

It got me thinking about language, the assumptions we attach to people, and how quickly a word can become a substitute for understanding.

We call someone arrogant, privileged, successful, or a show-off. We feel we've explained them. But have we actually understood anything?

In this episode of Open Air Talk, I explore what happens when we look beyond the words, question our own interpretations, and discover the human stories we might otherwise miss.

Because sometimes, the biggest obstacle to understanding isn't what someone said. It's what we decided their words meant.

Open Air Talk. Get heard. Make yourself understood when it matters.

What happens when the words we use to describe people stop us from seeing who they really are? A car show, an old LinkedIn article, and a closer look at how language shapes our assumptions.

Episode Takeaway

A label can feel like an explanation without actually explaining anything. Question the words you use, and you might discover that the person you thought you understood has a story you never imagined.

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Apparently if you want to get ahead you need to speak clearly, improve your vocabulary, make eye contact, project confidence and stop saying um.

Do all that and you’ll get the promotion, save your marriage and become the person people actually listen to in meetings.

There’s one small problem.

You can speak beautifully and still make a complete dog’s breakfast of a conversation. You can explain something perfectly and still be misunderstood. You can win the argument and lose the relationship.

So what’s missing?

At Open Air Talk we’re interested in three things:

Speak up. Make your point. Handle the conversation.

In this episode we look at why speaking better, on its own, isn’t enough — and what actually changes outcomes in meetings, difficult conversations, and the moments that matter.

We cover:

• Why most people leave their best points in the corridor
• The gap between what you mean and what people hear
• A simple, universal example of handling pushback without making things worse
• Why the objective isn’t to become a polished speaking machine

Practical tools for the conversations that shape your work, your relationships, and your life.

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You're at a party. You're talking to someone you've never met before. And sooner or later, the question arrives.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

It's an ordinary question, but that doesn't mean answering it comes naturally to everyone. Some people give a five-minute account of their careers. Others downplay what they do, stumble over their words, or feel obliged to come up with something clever.

There is another way.

In this episode of Open Air Talk, we look at how to handle that familiar question with a straightforward answer, a little awareness of your audience, and a better sense of when to stop talking.

You don't need a rehearsed performance. You don't need to entertain the room. You need an answer you can deliver comfortably and clearly, in your own words.

Then it's your turn.

The 60 Seconds Challenge gives you a practical exercise to work on your answer, record yourself, and hear what other people hear. An accompanying exercise sheet helps you practise and repeat the process.

Because the aim isn't to turn an ordinary answer into a performance. It's to handle an ordinary moment better.

n this episode:

• Why “What do you do?” has become such a common conversation starter.
• Why an ordinary question can be surprisingly awkward to answer.
• How to give a clear, direct answer without going into your entire employment history.
• When humour helps, and when a straightforward response works better.
• Why reading the room matters.
• How to practise your answer using the 60 Seconds Challenge.
• How to record yourself and request feedback.

Your challenge

Think about how you would answer this question at a party, a social gathering, or an informal professional event:

“So, what do you do for a living?”

Record your answer. Listen to it. Notice whether you get to the point, whether your words are easy to follow, and whether you sound comfortable with what you're saying.

Then try again.

You can download and reuse the accompanying exercise sheet and contact Open Air Talk if you would like your recording assessed.

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ou explain something. Somebody listens. They respond. And somehow, what they understood isn't what you meant at all.

In this first episode of Open Air Talk, I look at the gap between hearing, listening and understanding, using three experiences from my own life.

Teaching programming basics, I asked a class to think about a library application. They came up with perfectly reasonable ideas, none of which matched the specific exercise I had in mind.

Later, while training new recruits, I discovered that knowing a subject and teaching it are two different things. I was giving people too much information, too quickly, and expecting them to follow.

Then there was a job interview that made little sense until a recruiter called me a few days later and explained what, according to her, had really happened.

Three different situations. One recurring problem: we make assumptions about what other people understand, what they mean, and what is happening around us.

This isn't about finding magic words that make everybody understand you. Sometimes the explanation needs to change. Sometimes you need to ask a better question. And sometimes you simply don't have all the information.

Understanding somebody doesn't mean agreeing with them, either.

So where do we begin?

With a question worth asking ourselves: What makes me so sure they understood what I meant?

Open Air Talk explores language, meaning and real life, starting with the everyday conversations where things don't quite go as planned.

In this episode

• Hearing, listening and understanding are different things.
• Why people can interpret the same question in completely different ways.
• Why knowing something doesn't automatically make you good at explaining it.
• How assumptions influence the way we interpret other people.
• Practical ways to check what somebody has understood.
• Why understanding doesn't require agreement.

Website: https://openairtalk.com

Episode 01 of Open Air Talk.

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You say you love someone.

You say you respect them. Trust enters the equation.

Then you have an argument about what love, respect or trust actually means.

We throw words like toxic, selfish, commitment and boundaries at each other as if naming something settles the matter.

Relationship language is full of words that sound clear, clever, and even 100% logical.

Things can begin to break when people discover they're using the same word to mean completely different things.

The aim isn't to tell people how to have better relationships.

It's to catch them using words as if those words settle an argument.

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This is the companion voice-clip for the blog post:

https://openairtalk.com/2026/09/28/you-dont-need-confidence-to-start-speaking-you-need-this-instead/

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The poor UHM-Dude. He didn’t get any applause after that seemingly sad excuse for a speech. “He can’t speak.” That’s the feedback I get when people first listen to the clip. But, actually, he can speak. He isn’t fluent. Articulation isn’t his best suit. You have experienced many flavours of that kind of speech. At weddings and conferences, I have often listened to ad-hoc speakers stumble and labour through every single word after they’ve been called to the stage.

But not the Fluent-Dude. No. After his speech, Fluent-Dude received a thunderous ovation. He was patted on the back. “On point, Sir, well said!”

Meaning breaks in many ways. It can even break within the fluent speech, or after it. Those same people who raised a glass to Fluent-Dude’s winged words would not admit that he really said very little. Bullshit Corporate Jargon. Those empty phrases remind me of a massive all-purpose kitchen appliance that’s chock-full of features, but isn’t plugged in. There’s no meaning. No connection.

The UHM-Dude didn’t need applause. He got something better: smiles of relief, quiet acknowledgement and appreciation. He had fought for his team and with them.

Shared meaning doesn’t rely on fluent articulation. Hell yeah, what a bonus if you develop confidence and presence. And even when you know what to say, it matters that you know not only how to say it well, but what you are actually trying to mean.

Hey! I'd love to hear your thoughts, send me a voice note.

The poor UHM-Dude. He didn’t get any applause after that seemingly sad excuse for a speech. “He can’t speak.” That’s the feedback I get when people first listen to the clip. But, actually, he can speak. He isn’t fluent. Articulation isn’t his best suit. You have experienced many flavours of that kind of speech. At weddings and conferences, I have often listened to ad-hoc speakers stumble and labour through every single word after they’ve been called to the stage.

But not the Fluent-Dude. No. After his speech, Fluent-Dude received a thunderous ovation. He was patted on the back. “On point, Sir, well said!”

Meaning breaks in many ways. It can even break within the fluent speech, or after it. Those same people who raised a glass to Fluent-Dude’s winged words would not admit that he really said very little. Bullshit Corporate Jargon. Those empty phrases remind me of a massive all-purpose kitchen appliance that’s chock-full of features, but isn’t plugged in. There’s no meaning. No connection.

The UHM-Dude didn’t need applause. He got something better: smiles of relief, quiet acknowledgement and appreciation. He had fought for his team and with them.

Shared meaning doesn’t rely on fluent articulation. Hell yeah, what a bonus if you develop confidence and presence. And even when you know what to say, it matters that you know not only how to say it well, but what you are actually trying to mean.

Hey! I'd love to hear your thoughts, send me a voice note.

Iteration 3

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I can't imagine anybody waking up one morning and exclaiming, “I need to learn to speak better.”

Better than what?

You get invited to an interview. It's not that you want to speak better. You want to find the language that will enable you to secure the job.

When I was still teaching, a thin, weedy-looking boy approached me because he wanted to join the Speech and Drama Guild.

I asked him the question I always asked.

Why?

And he said he'd met a girl, and he felt stupid when he talked to her.

He wanted to speak better...