After having two kids, I experienced what I believed was a miscarriage. I went to the ER multiple times, was bleeding and in pain, and kept being reassured that I was going through a normal pregnancy loss. I even went on a trip to Texas, did photoshoots, and tried to carry on with life while my body was telling me something was very wrong.
After my third trip to the ER, I finally learned the truth: I was having an ectopic pregnancy and needed emergency surgery.
The fear of having another ectopic pregnancy stayed with me long after the surgery. I became anxious about pregnancy, took tests constantly, and when I eventually found out I was pregnant again less than a year later, I was convinced something was wrong. My pregnancy levels were so high that I immediately feared another ectopic.
But this time, there were two babies.
Twins. 🤍🤍
Suddenly, I was going to have four kids under four.
My twins were mono-di, which brought an entirely new level of anxiety as I navigated the pregnancy and the fear of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. Physically, the pregnancy was incredibly difficult too—shortness of breath, intense back and sciatic pain, awful acid reflux, and the everyday discomfort of carrying two babies. In the middle of it all, we moved from Washington to Utah.
And then they were here.
The first year with my twins was surprisingly a time when I truly thrived. But once they became mobile, everything changed. 😂 Life with four little ones became overwhelming in ways I wasn't prepared for, and honestly, I wasn't doing well.
Now my twins are five, and for the first time in years, I feel like I'm finally catching my breath.
In this episode, I’m sharing the whole story—the pregnancy loss I thought I was experiencing, the ectopic pregnancy that nearly went unnoticed, the fear that followed me into my next pregnancy, the shock of finding out I was carrying twins, the physical and emotional toll of a mono-di twin pregnancy, moving across states, and the beautiful, chaotic, exhausting years that followed.
This is a story about loss, fear, motherhood, survival, and realizing that sometimes you don't understand just how much you've been carrying until you finally get a chance to breathe.