Our guest today is Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, author, and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It WillHelp You Improve Your Sex Life.

Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education.

He's been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs.

We talked about the seven categories of sexual fantasies, how fantasies change as we age, and their current study on masturbation and menopause.

Click here if you'd like to learn more about Dr. Justin Lehmiller's work and check out his blog and his podcast too. If you're interested in Justin Lehmiller's immersive study abroad programs, go to Sexual Health Alliance Study Abroad for lots of great information! You can follow him on Instagram @JustinJLehmiller.

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Our guest this time is Stephen Duclos, and his interest in aging is partly because he has been doing social change work for decades and sees aging as just one more civil rights horizon. He's also interested in aging because he's a sex therapist, and he sees all sex as queer sex when it comes to aging adults.

Stephen has been working as a therapist and counselor since 1972. He currently holds licenses and national certifications in Sex Therapy (as a CST), Couples and Family Therapy (LMFT), Mental Health Counseling (LMHC), and Rehabilitation Counseling (CRC). Stephen is an Approved Supervisor with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), and AASECT (the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). He is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy. In 2012, he received the Patricia Schiller award from AASECT for his work on Fathers, Adolescent Daughters, and Sexuality. And in 2022, he was featured in a cover story in the NY Times Magazine about sex over 70.

Jane first met Stephen at an AASECT conference and was immediately struck by his candor, and they have been teaching social workers and students of sex therapy ever since. He is always up for a new challenge and is one of the most thoughtful clinicians she knows. He has been a teacher and supervisor of therapists as an adjunct faculty member of UMass/Boston and is a principal faculty member in the Sex Therapy Training program at South Shore Sexual Health Center. He has also taught at Boston Medical Center and Harvard Medical School. He is vitally interested in intimacy, aging, fathers and daughters, and long-term sexual relationships.

Stephen has also been involved in civil rights work for more than 50 years. From registering voters for the Boston Election Commission in 1967, to helping establish the second Independent Living Center in the US for people with disabilities in the 1970s, to establishing biracial councils in the Boston Public Schools during desegregation through the late 1980s, to supporting liberation for the queer community, civil rights has been part of his ongoing, lifelong community work.

His interest in aging comes in large part from his commitment to being a therapist, seeing older clients, and threading the aging process in the tapestry of his own life. He is fierce, tender, brilliant, and a great teacher and learner. He wanted to expand his teaching practice by working with a sex educator, and Jane was so pleased that he invited her in because she loves teaching with him, always learning something new, as we did in this conversation.

Listeners, if you'd like to learn more about Stephen and his work, you can find more information here.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

This week on Our Better Half, hosts Rosara and Jane sit down with Djanikah Elysse, Stacey Rose, and Virginia Nguyen to discuss their groundbreaking project on sex-positive senior living facilities. Join us as we dive into a crucial conversation about sexuality and aging. Our guests share insights on:

• The inspiration behind their sex-positive senior living project and a brief overview of its goals.

• Dimensions of intimacy beyond physical sex that are vital for older adults in residential care.

• How the SWELLAA (Sexual Wellness for Aging Adults) initiative proposes to create a more supportive and inclusive environment for residents' sexual expression and identity.

• Their hopes for the future of SWELLAA and how they envision it transforming the landscape of senior living facilities.

To learn more about their group, SWELLAA, (Sexual Wellness for Aging Adults), check out their website, or send them an email at [email protected]!

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

Please join us for an enlivening conversation with Dr. Cynthia Graham, an esteemed editor, researcher, and educator. She has done so much research on older adults and amid a negative focus on aging, she has found in her research that sex can actually get better with age. Her research focuses on sexual health among older adults, male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women's sexuality, women's sexual pleasure, and sexual problems. We discussed her current research along with Dr. Justin Lehmiller on older women and masturbation and whether it might improve some symptoms of menopause.

She is the editor of the Journal of Sex Research and Distinguished Professor in the Department of Gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. In the wake of NIH and other funding cutbacks in scientific research, she talks about the need to continue to do sexuality research and continuing to find alternative avenues to fund and publish this critical work.

Listeners, if you're interested in Dr. Cynthia Graham's research, click here. If you're interested in Dr. Patricia Barthalow Koch's article we discussed on body image and aging, click here. And if you'd like to read the statement Dr. Graham and her colleagues wrote about the attacks on scientific research, click here.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

In this deeply moving episode of Our Better Half, hosts Rosara and Jane sit down with a special guest to discuss an intimate and often unspoken aspect of grief: the loss of a sexual self. Our guest, who prefers to remain anonymous, courageously shares a powerful reflection on her experience since the death of her beloved husband.

She introduces us to "Lefty," a flirtatious and sensual persona she developed and nurtured within the safety of her marriage. Lefty was more than just a part of her; she was her husband's "girlfriend," a vital and cherished part of their bond. Our guest shares the painful process of having to "close down" this part of herself after his passing, and the profound sense of loss that came with it.

Throughout the conversation, we explore what it means to lose a partner who was not only a best friend and confidant but also a playmate and lover. Our guest opens up about the powerful phrase she and her husband used to describe their connection: "A Quantum of Solace," a state of being where they found shelter and security in each other's arms.

She also offers a vulnerable and honest look at how she has navigated the loss of physical intimacy. This episode is a testament to the enduring power of love and a compassionate guide for anyone experiencing similar grief.

Listeners, if you'd like to learn more about keeping the sex in a long-term relationship, we recommend Hani Miletski and her late husband's book, Keep It Fresh: Tips For Couples Who Are In It For The Long Haul and Sara Nasserzadeh's book, Love By Design.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

We are so happy to invite you to a wonderful conversation with Dr. Elliott Kronenfeld who is interested in building relationships on curiosity and intention across the lifespan. Dr. Kronenfeld's books, Couples by Intention: Crafting and Cultivating Relationships that Matter! and Unspoken Loss: Men, Infidelity, and Disenfranchised Grief are widely available.

We spoke with him about so much. If your curiosity is piqued, here are a few links: Disenfranchised Grief by Doka and Women, breast cancer survivorship, sexual losses, and disenfranchised grief – a treatment model for clinicians by Pillai-Friedman and Ashline.

Listeners, if you'd like to get in touch with Dr. Eliot Kronenfeld, you can find more about him here. You can also follow him on Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, and Bluesky!

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

Please join us for a fantastic conversation with Natalie Malone, a counseling psychologist and doctoral candidate at the University of Kentucky. Her research focuses on Black women's sexual/reproductive health and holistic wellness. Natalie is a 200-hour registered yoga and pilates teacher who integrates complementary health approaches and embodiment practices into her research and clinical services. She is a published author with 48 publications in scientific journals and textbooks. Additionally, she is a celebrated speaker with over 20 presentations domestically and internationally.

Natalie shared some great resources with us, including her mentor, Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons', new book: Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation, the podcast, IMO with Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig Robinson, and her own work.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

Great news - we got picked up for another season of Our Better Half! Stay tuned for another year of insightful conversations featuring top experts in the field of sexuality and aging.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

Join our co-hosts this week, Jane Fleishman, Jayleen Galarza-Patterson, and Rosara Torrisi, for a rich and interesting conversation unpacking the term 'sexual ageism', talking about it from their professional lives as educators and therapists. Reviewing two articles about why older adults do have sex and why they don't. Fascinating results! Listeners might also enjoy Jane's article on the impacts of social and political upheaval on older adults' sexuality.

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!

Our guest this time is Dr. Margaret Nichols. Dr. Nichols, Ph.D., is a psychologist, AASECT certified sex therapy supervisor, founder, and first Executive Director of the Institute for Personal Growth, a psychotherapy organization in New Jersey specializing in clinical work with the sex, relationship, and gender diverse community. She is the author of The Modern Clinician's Guide to Working with LGBTQ+ Clients: The Inclusive Psychotherapist. Dr. Nichols is an international speaker and author of many articles on LGBTQ sexuality, transgender youth, kink, and consensual nonmonogamy, as well as the co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes' Transgender Mental Health certification program.

Dr. Nichols has been licensed since 1981 and trained as a sex therapist since 1983. In 1983, she founded the Institute for Personal Growth, and in 1985, she helped found and served as the first Executive Director of the Hyacinth AIDS Foundation, New Jersey's largest HIV social service agency. Since she sold IPG in 2018, Dr. Nichols has maintained a small private psychotherapy practice and a roster of sex therapy supervisees across the country.

Resources on ways to support trans and non-binary people:

• Supporting transgender people in your life - Advocates for trans equality

• How to be an ally to trans and non-binary people - Trevor Project

• How to be an ally to trans and non-binary people - George Mason LGBTQ+ center

• Dr. Margie Nichols' TED talk

If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show!

As always, thanks for listening!