IN THIS EPISODE/SUMMARY:
In this episode of Out of Session with Kindman & Co., therapists Anna and Paul step outside their usual format to talk about a movie neither of them expected to be moved by: The Sheep Detectives. On the surface, it's a murder mystery solved by a flock of sheep. Underneath, it's a surprisingly rich meditation on grief, denial, and what it means to belong.
Anna and Paul dig into the film's central premise: when something painful happens, the sheep collectively choose to forget it, telling themselves that those who die simply "turn into clouds." It's a coping mechanism that will feel familiar to anyone who's ever reached for distraction, avoidance, or a softer story to make loss easier to hold. As Anna and Paul discuss, denial isn't inherently bad — it can be a useful short-term tool — but it comes at a cost that compounds the longer it's used.
TOPICS:
Community, Grief, Death, Loss, Connection, Mental Health Support, Therapists
KEY FIGURES:
Anna Kim, LCSW
Paul Kindman, LMFT
Kindman & Co.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
1. You can't selectively forget.
Trying to block out painful memories means losing the good ones too — there's no way to numb only the parts that hurt.
2. Denial has its place — but the bill always comes due.
Short-term denial can be a useful coping tool, but the longer it's used to avoid grief, the larger the emotional cost grows.
3. Being the one who "remembers" can feel isolating — but it's not a burden, it's a gift.
Like Mopple in the film, people in grief often feel like they're dragging others down by staying connected to loss. In reality, that willingness to stay present is what helps everyone else heal.
4. Loss connects us to something larger than ourselves.
Grieving can feel isolating, but it also links you to the entire history of people who've loved and lost — you're never actually alone in it.
5. Grief is better shared than carried alone.
Whether it's a therapist, a friend, or even a stranger in a movie theater, connecting with someone else — through pain or through humor — changes the experience in a way solitude can't.
KEY QUOTES:
1. "There is no way to selectively forget" — Anna — on why avoiding pain also means losing the good memories tied to it.
2. "It becomes problematic when it is overused and used in the long term" — Paul — on denial as a short-term tool that turns harmful over time.
3. "Forgetting doesn't work. It's not the way." — Anna — on one of the few things she feels directive about in therapy.
4. "We need to be able to hold multiple realities, multiple experiences, multiple feelings at the same time" — Paul — on the concept of holding complexity in therapeutic work.
5. "As soon as you lose someone close to you, you're actually more a part of something" — Anna — on grief as a connection to shared human experience.
CALL TO ACTION:
Today's episode is bringing you to our new therapy and support group, “Dead Parents Club.”
This is a bi-weekly young adult therapy and support group in Highland Park for people navigating the loss of a parent or close parental figure.
Yeah, the name is a little blunt. Maybe even darkly funny?! But if you’ve lost a parent young, you probably get it.
This is a space for young adults trying to figure out life after a loss that changed everything — while everyone else somehow seems to keep moving forward normally.
And don’t let the word “therapy” freak you out. You don’t need to show up with the perfect words or know how to talk about grief “correctly.”
Think of it more like a place to land with people who actually understand this kind of loss.
You can find out more about the Dead Parents Club at kindman.co/group-therapy.
Look out for the transcript of this episode on the Kindman & Co. blog and sign up for the Kindman & Co. newsletter to stay connected.
