This episode features Robin and Dennis’s appearance on the Schein On podcast. Host Evan Schein interviews them about their 2021 book, Outwitting the Manipulator: Protecting Yourself in Real Time, which identifies 24 common manipulation tactics and focuses on defending yourself while manipulation is happening. Robin shares that the book was inspired by her own experience being manipulated and emphasizes having enough distance to teach others. Robin and Dennis discuss how difficulty detecting tactics depends on context, how gender dynamics can affect targeting, and why smart, trusting people are prime targets. Key strategies include building awareness, journaling to spot patterns, staying neutral, staying curious, and asking questions to disrupt a manipulator’s momentum. They address workplace manipulation (especially public humiliation), high-conflict divorce and co-parenting, and red flags like charisma and heroic self-framing. They react to quotes about blame, believing behavior, and guilt.

You can find the book, Outwitting the Manipulator, on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Outwitting-Manipulator-Protecting-Yourself-Real-Time/dp/1953806244

Robin/Dennis website:

https://www.outwitinrealtime.com/

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/outwitting-the-manipulator/id1644706232

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4peb6yxqyrYQllAo8c6KTE?si=NbBsepYzSc-FWrwOjHAuCA

To get your copy of Robin and Dennis's on-Demand Training Course made up of eight video modules, practice worksheets and more, go to www.manipulator.help and use the password FREEDOM to get 25% off. In their friendly and expert style, Robin and Dennis will help strengthen your ability to defend yourself from manipulation as it is happening.

The Schein On podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/schein-on/id1541360422

Topics

00:49 Why Write This Book

02:18 Real Time Defense

03:20 Hardest Tactics Spot

04:29 Gender and Manipulation

05:55 Awareness Comes First

07:08 Smart People Targeted

07:57 Politeness as Weapon

09:16 Manipulation vs Persuasion

11:46 Do Manipulators Know

14:27 Workplace Power Plays

15:41 Mastering Neutrality

18:08 Curiosity and Patterns

19:23 Divorce Conflict Tactics

20:29 Co Parenting With Manipulator

23:13 Spotting Litigation Manipulation

24:52 Gender Patterns In Control

25:40 When The Manipulator Hires You

26:43 Courtroom Audience Shift

28:44 Red Flags For Professionals

32:28 Curiosity Courage Questions

34:39 They Said It Quotes Game

40:42 Final Takeaways And Thanks

Grey Rock may protect you for a moment—but it won't change the game. Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker explain why lasting protection comes from understanding manipulation rather than simply avoiding it. They reveal the crucial difference between tactics and strategy, how manipulators deliberately condition targets to comply, and why recognizing predictable patterns allows you to respond strategically in real time. The ultimate goal isn't just surviving manipulative encounters—it's becoming someone manipulators recognize as too difficult to control.

This episode goes beyond tactics to the deeper work of healing. Michelle shares how her greatest victory wasn't changing her manipulative ex—it was changing herself. By learning to outwit rather than fight, she rebuilt her confidence, escaped the constant fight-or-flight response, and reclaimed her peace. Robin and Dennis explain why the goal is never to change the manipulator, but to understand their psychology and communicate strategically. Michelle also offers a powerful reminder: seeking the right coaching early can save years of emotional turmoil—and thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal battles.

In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker explore one of the most painful costs of manipulation: the erosion of trust — not only in others, but in yourself. They explain how manipulators often build trust quickly through charm, attention, false vulnerability, and perfectly timed support, especially when you are already vulnerable. The episode offers practical ways to slow down the trust-building process, notice when someone’s actions do not align with their words, write down odd patterns, and protect yourself before disclosing personal information that could later be used against you.

In this powerful episode of the Outwitting the Manipulator podcast, Robin Golinski and Dennis Becker explore how manipulators weaponize shame to control, silence, and destabilize others. They unpack the difference between shame and guilt, explain why shame is such a deeply rooted emotional trigger, and reveal how manipulators exploit personal insecurities, public embarrassment, and over-explaining to gain power. Through real-world examples and role-play scenarios, they teach listeners how to recognize these tactics in the moment and respond strategically with calm, concise communication instead of emotional defensiveness.

Visit https://www.outwitinrealtime.com/

Topics

00:00 Shame Meets Manipulation

01:43 How Shame Forms Early

04:45 Shame Versus Guilt

06:23 Shame As Leverage

09:17 Everyday Shame Triggers

14:03 Spot It In Real Time

16:52 When Shame Is Misread

17:58 Responses That Disarm

20:40 Stop Apologizing

20:59 Explanation Trap

21:54 Manipulator Roleplay

23:40 Excuse Versus Explain

25:43 Less Is More

26:26 Short Sweet Response

29:35 Tone And Delivery

31:55 Shame Inventory

35:04 Closing And Resources

This episode reveals how good intentions—like being liked or avoiding conflict—can make you vulnerable to manipulation. While most people act with positive motives, manipulators have one consistent goal: control. Seemingly helpful behaviors are often read as compliance, prompting manipulators to test and push boundaries further. The more you prioritize harmony, the more you risk being taken advantage of. The key shift: stop aiming to be liked and start aiming to be strong. Clear boundaries may feel uncomfortable, but they prevent manipulation and build real respect.

Topics

01:59 Why Intentions Matter

02:53 Targets Seeking Harmony

03:49 Manipulator Intent Control

06:40 Inventory Your Intentions

08:28 When Normal Tactics Fail

12:34 Coffee Favor as a Test

16:38 Workload Trap and Red Flags

18:05 New Client Airport Ride

18:26 Testing the Ride Ask

19:16 Stacking Extra Favors

20:38 Captive in the Car

20:55 Harmony vs Strength

22:08 Holding the Line

24:40 Courage to Set Boundaries

25:53 Confidence They Can Sense

27:50 Strong Yet Still Targeted

29:41 Know Your Vulnerabilities

31:26 Stop Trying to Be Liked

33:02 Final Takeaways and Next Steps

In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski pull back the curtain on something most people miss entirely:

The quiet ways your attention gets pulled—and why it matters more than anything being said.

Through sharp insights and real-life moments, they reveal how quickly conversations can shift when your focus is redirected—and how that shift can change your decisions without you realizing it.

If you’ve ever walked away from an interaction wondering, “How did that just happen?”—this episode will connect the dots.

👉 Because once you understand the role of attention, you start seeing the entire game differently.

You can find the book, Outwitting the Manipulator, on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Outwitting-Manipulator-Protecting-Yourself-Real-Time/dp/1953806244

Our main website:

https://www.outwitinrealtime.com/

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/outwitting-the-manipulator/id1644706232

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4peb6yxqyrYQllAo8c6KTE?si=NbBsepYzSc-FWrwOjHAuCA

Topics

01:29 Attention as a Commodity

04:56 Awareness and Metacognition

05:49 How Manipulators Steal Focus

08:11 Awareness Versus Focus

12:50 Distraction and Charm Tactics

16:58 Urgency Trap Example

21:51 Responding Under Pressure

24:02 Practical Rules to Practice

26:06 Resources and Closing

A gold-medal moment turns into something way more personal: a Norwegian Olympian uses his post-win interview to deliver a tearful public apology to the girlfriend he cheated on—on a worldwide stage.

Robin and Dr. Dennis Becker break down why this kind of “public remorse” can be more than heartfelt… it can be a high-powered influence move that quietly recruits everyone watching. They debate two competing interpretations (sincere regret vs. strategic pressure), unpack what manipulation can look like in real time, and land on a simple mindset listeners can use anywhere: get curious, question the story, and have the courage to challenge what doesn’t feel right.

Topics

00:56 Olympics Apology Setup

03:33 Surrogate Pressure Explained

04:39 Sincere or Strategic

06:17 Winner Mindset and Rejection

08:52 Shame and Double Standards

10:26 Multiple Manipulation Tactics

12:52 Tears Switch On and Off

13:29 Could She Be the Manipulator

14:38 Norway Privacy Culture

15:37 Heated Culture Debate

16:56 Manipulation But Motives

18:15 Timing And Credibility

19:54 Staged For Publicity

20:53 Think Deeper Not Surface

23:10 Three Rules Against Manipulation

25:04 Wrap Up And Call To Action

Robin and Dennis discuss manipulation with a special focus on Sandy Rosenthal's work following Hurricane Katrina. Sandy Rosenthal, founder of levies.org, shares her journey of uncovering the real cause behind the catastrophic flooding in New Orleans. She details the harassment and pushback she faced from the Army Corps of Engineers and the extensive damage caused due to improperly built levees. Sandy explains her strategies to counter manipulation and emphasizes the importance of never letting anyone make you feel defensive. The conversation also highlights Rosenthal's ongoing mission to incorporate lessons from engineering failures into college curricula to prevent future disasters.

Topics

00:36 Today's Topic: Manipulation and Sandy Rosenthal

01:32 Sandy Rosenthal's Background and Mission

02:19 Challenges and Pushback

04:46 Discovering the Truth

07:15 Online Harassment and Orchestrated Attacks

09:38 Exposing the Army Corps of Engineers

15:20 Manipulative Tactics and Defense Strategies

19:42 The Challenge of Addressing Complex Issues

20:09 Handling Manipulative Questions with Grace

20:41 The Importance of Tone in Responses

21:46 Learning from Past Mistakes

23:02 The Cost of Harassment and Legal Battles

25:39 Remaining Neutral Under Pressure

31:32 The Mission of Levies.org

32:58 The Legacy of Sandy Rosenthal

35:13 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Six months after first opening up about his past manipulative patterns, Gethro LaCroix returns with a striking update. He’s now over 400 days sober, committed to the gym, off social media, and deepening his connection to faith and community.

He shares how he avoids slipping into old habits—womanizing, drinking, smoking—by remembering the chaos they caused and grounding himself in daily discipline. A highlight: a friend took Gethro’s advice to “pick a lane” and abandon the mix-and-match lifestyle of half-good-guy, half-player. That moment showed Gethro how teaching others reinforces his own growth.

Gethro’s relationship is thriving through transparency and mutual transformation. Both partners quit substances, practice prayer and fasting for decision-making, and are intentionally moving toward marriage. He’s learning to lead with love rather than dominance.

Meanwhile, friends and family are surprised—some skeptical—but they respect the boundaries he now holds firmly. He’s no longer the guy to call for drinking or smoking; he’s the one you call for advice, a workout, or a grounding conversation.

Anchored by a new sleep schedule, structured days, and an intentional lifestyle, Gethro’s transformation is steady, disciplined, and—most importantly—real.

Topics

01:09 Reconnecting with Gethro LaCroix

01:47 Gethro's Personal Growth Journey

03:51 Maintaining Sobriety and Facing Temptations

05:12 Inspiring Others and Sharing Wisdom

08:38 The Importance of Transparency in Relationships

11:41 Changing Dynamics with Friends

20:44 Family Reactions to Personal Transformation

21:01 Cold Turkey Transformation

21:58 Family Reactions and Belief

23:31 The Role of Faith and Discipline

28:26 Relationship Dynamics and Growth

33:51 The Power of Routine and Scheduling

38:36 Final Reflections and Future Plans