
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


In this episode, we delve into how childhood experiences shape avoidance behaviors in adulthood, particularly focusing on the roles of trauma and neglect. These early life experiences often teach individuals to avoid conflict, difficult emotions, and challenging situations as a means of coping and ensuring safety. Unfortunately, these avoidance behaviors can persist into adulthood, manifesting as people-pleasing tendencies, emotional dishonesty, and the suppression of true feelings. This can lead to significant emotional distress and strained relationships, as suppressed emotions eventually surface in unhealthy ways, such as lashing out.
We explore the psychological mechanisms behind these behaviors and offer practical strategies to overcome them. By understanding the roots of avoidance, we can begin to unravel these patterns and adopt healthier coping mechanisms. The episode provides insights into building self-awareness, developing emotional resilience, and the need for support to do this work.
Three Takeaways:1. Childhood Trauma and Neglect Influence Adult Behaviors:
Early traumatic experiences and neglect can teach children to avoid difficult situations and emotions as a survival mechanism. These avoidance behaviors often continue into adulthood, leading to challenges such as people-pleasing, emotional dishonesty, and the suppression of feelings.
2. Avoidance Reinforces Fear and Anxiety:
Avoiding feared situations provides temporary relief but ultimately reinforces and perpetuates fear and anxiety. This cycle of avoidance can be broken through gradual exposure and facing fears in a controlled and safe manner, which helps reduce the power of these fears over time.
3. Strategies for Overcoming Avoidance:
Developing self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional support are crucial steps in overcoming avoidance behaviors. By building emotional resilience and learning healthy coping mechanisms, we can face their fears more effectively and lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.
The only way to conquer your fears is to face them, step by step. Each small victory builds the courage to tackle the next, until what once seemed insurmountable becomes a testament to your strength and resilience.
You can do this.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
Today we introduce this month's topic: all the ways we avoid sitting with our feelings and facing truths that seem too overwhelming to confront. We'll explore the psychological mechanisms behind our avoidance behaviors, such as staying task-focused, fixating on others' needs, and using distractions to numb our emotions. By examining these patterns, we can better understand how avoidance often stems from a fear of facing our own shame and guilt, which can lead to chronic anxiety and a sense of disconnection from ourselves and those around us.
We also discuss the significant impact of avoidance on our mental and emotional well-being, highlighting the emotional toll of unresolved feelings and suppressed emotions. This episode provides practical strategies for breaking the cycle of avoidance and encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and emotional honesty. By facing our feelings head-on, we can begin the journey towards self-awareness, healing, and stronger, more authentic relationships. Stay tuned in the coming weeks as we take some time – to face ourselves.
Key Takeaways:
Avoiding our own emotions
makes it harder to be there
for others because we're too
wrapped up in our own struggles.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
In this episode we talk about the importance of maintaining your sense of self in relationships and avoiding the pitfalls of getting lost in crises created by others. We introduce a daily checklist designed to help you stay grounded and prioritize your well-being. Additionally, we explore how high cortisol levels, resulting from chronic stress, can impair your ability to stay in tune with your emotions and bodily needs. By recognizing these critical moments, or PINPOINTs, when you first fail to honor yourself, you can prevent a cascade of negative events and foster healthier relationships.
We tackle strategies for setting and enforcing personal boundaries, overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, and navigating conflicts without avoidance. We also discuss the significance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who respect your limits and encourage personal growth. By the end of the episode, you'll have actionable insights and tools to help you maintain your identity and well-being in any relationship or situation.
Key Takeaways
Spot the pinpoints—
those moments when
you first neglect yourself.
Recognizing these moments
is the key to preventing
a cascade of events
that lead to losing your
identity.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
In this episode we talk about the importance of being mindful about who we allow into our lives:
It's crucial to be mindful about who we allow into our lives because the people around us significantly influence our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. Positive, supportive individuals can inspire growth, boost confidence, and encourage healthy habits, while negative, toxic people can drain energy, foster self-doubt, and hinder personal development. We need people who are strong enough to lean on, love us enough to tell us the truth, but also have the ability to detach and let us sit in our own truth, and have our own process.
Encouragement to Assess Relationships:
Take the time to assess your relationships and make conscious choices about the company you keep. Reflect on whether the people in your life support your growth, respect your boundaries, and contribute positively to your well-being. If you find that certain relationships are holding you back or causing harm, consider setting boundaries or seeking healthier connections.
By surrounding ourselves with people who inspire courage, positivity, and personal growth, we can create a supportive environment that fosters our well-being and helps us achieve our full potential.
1. Choose Your Company Wisely:
· The people you surround yourself with significantly impact your personal growth and well-being. Seek out individuals who are emotionally mature, supportive of your goals, and inspire you to be your best self.
2. Set and Respect Boundaries:
· Establishing and maintaining personal boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. Clear boundaries protect your emotional health, prevent burnout, and ensure mutual respect and understanding.
3. Embrace People Who Are Open-Minded and Courageous:
· Look for those who foster a mindset of open-mindedness and courage. Being open to new ideas and perspectives, and overcoming fear-based behaviors, creates a positive and dynamic environment where both you and your relationships can thrive.
Growth-minded friends
are the catalysts that ignite
our journey towards
becoming our best selves.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
In this episode, we sit down with Emily Cleghorn, an award-winning Trauma Recovery Coach, author, podcaster, and inspirational speaker. Emily is dedicated to helping trauma-surviving mothers navigate the challenges of parenting while healing from their own childhood traumas. With a deep passion for creating positive, lasting impacts for future generations, Emily shares her personal journey of overcoming the shadows cast by her trauma. Her inspiring story and practical insights empower mothers to break free from their past and become the nurturing parents they aspire to be.
Emily, a mother of two young children, understands firsthand the complexities of parenting while managing trauma triggers. She has channeled her experiences into her latest book, "Rising from the Ashes," which offers valuable guidance and support to mothers on a similar path. Throughout this episode, Emily discusses her approach to trauma recovery, the importance of self-care, and strategies for managing triggers and tantrums in daily life. To learn more about Emily's work and how to connect with her, visit Mended Mama Life.
Key Takeaways:
Healing is Possible: Emily emphasizes that it is possible to heal from childhood trauma while being an effective and loving parent. Her own journey serves as a powerful example of this transformation.
Managing Triggers: Emily provides practical advice on how to recognize and manage triggers that arise in the context of parenting, helping mothers create a calmer and more nurturing environment for their children.
Self-Care is Essential: Emily highlights the importance of self-care for trauma-surviving mothers, emphasizing that taking care of oneself is crucial for being able to care for one's children effectively.
Self-care isn't a luxury for
trauma-surviving mothers; it's essential.
Taking time for yourself enables you
to be the best parent you can be.
Emily Cleghorn: https://home.mendedmamalife.ca/
Check out her podcast there too!
https://home.mendedmamalife.ca/blog
Her new book Rising From the Ashes: Reclaiming your Life After a Traumatic Childhood is on Amazon: https://a.co/d/ftNFliz
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
In this episode, I am thrilled to have Jason Lange, a men's embodiment coach and group facilitator, share his invaluable insights into the transformative power of men's groups. With over two decades of experience, Jason has worked alongside leaders like John Wineland and Dr. Robert Glover, honing his approach to helping men find clarity in their life's purpose and relationships. He advocates strongly for men's participation in men's groups, emphasizing their role in fostering personal growth, enhancing intimate relationships, and contributing positively to family and community dynamics. During our conversation, Jason discusses the profound impact these groups have had on his life and why he believes every man should join one to experience similar transformative benefits.
Jason's perspective is particularly compelling as he addresses the common emotional voids many men face, including unresolved father wounds and a general lack of supportive spaces for emotional expression and healing. Throughout the interview, he offers wisdom on what men truly need to thrive and how men's groups can serve as crucial platforms for learning, growth, and healing. This discussion is not just for men but is also vital for women to understand the struggles men often face in silence. Be sure to pass this episode along to help spread Jason's powerful message. Also, check out Jason's podcast, Evolutionary Men, for more insights into men's personal development.
Key Takeaways:
1. Supportive Networks: Jason Lange highlights the importance of men's groups in providing a support network that allows men to explore and heal emotional wounds, particularly those related to paternal relationships.
2. Empowerment Through Community: Men's groups empower participants by promoting healthier expressions of emotions, which leads to more vital intimate partnerships and a greater ability to serve family and community.
3. Inclusivity in Understanding: This episode is essential not just for men, but also for women, to foster a deeper understanding of the unique challenges men face and the potential pathways to addressing these issues through community support.
Groups are
a place to grow,
a sanctuary where we are
seen, heard, and supported
in our deepest vulnerabilities.
Jason Lange: https://evolutionary.men/
Check out his podcast there too!
https://evolutionary.men/podcast-evolutionary-men-lead-in-life-and-love/
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
Welcome to episode 252 where we look at the power of how our boundaries and integrity are symbiotic…and so important for our self-concept.
In this episode we explore the vital role of boundaries, self-discipline, and integrity in cultivating self-trust and confidence. By setting and honoring boundaries with others, we protect our integrity and maintain healthy connections, fostering a sense of authenticity and coherence in our lives. Additionally, developing self-discipline allows us to regulate our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in alignment with our values, reinforcing our integrity and building self-trust over time.
Takeaways:
1. Boundaries are essential for self-trust: Establishing clear boundaries with others is crucial for protecting one's integrity and fostering healthy relationships. By communicating and enforcing boundaries, individuals assert their needs and values, strengthening their self-trust and confidence in navigating social interactions.
2. Self-discipline reinforces integrity: Practicing self-discipline involves consistently aligning one's actions with their values and goals. By developing habits of self-control and accountability, individuals build a foundation of integrity that enhances their self-trust and confidence in their ability to uphold their principles.
3. Integrity is the cornerstone of self-confidence: Living with integrity means acting in accordance with one's values and beliefs, even in challenging circumstances. By prioritizing authenticity and coherence in their actions, individuals cultivate a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, empowering them to navigate life with resilience and purpose.
Our integrity is more visible
than we realize.
It reflects the depth of our
self-trust when our
actions align with
our words.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
Welcome to episode 251 where we look for the safe people – and how to recognize them!
In this episode we explore the essential role of healthy boundaries and self-awareness in fostering trust and safety within relationships. We discuss how individuals with healthy boundaries maintain a sense of separateness while still fostering connection, emphasizing the importance of understanding these traits for building fulfilling and supportive relationships. Through clear communication, respect for autonomy, and emotional regulation, the safe people can strike a balance between independence and connection, creating an environment of mutual trust, respect, and emotional safety.
Key Takeaways:
1. Clear Communication: Healthy boundaries are established through open and assertive communication. Individuals should feel empowered to express their needs, preferences, and limits in order to foster mutual understanding and respect within relationships.
2. Respect for Autonomy: It's essential to respect the autonomy and independence of both oneself and others. Recognizing that each person is responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions helps maintain a healthy balance between individuality and connection.
3. Emotional Regulation: Mastering emotional regulation is key to maintaining a sense of separateness while fostering connection. Individuals with healthy boundaries can manage their emotions independently, without relying on others to meet their emotional needs, thereby fostering a sense of emotional independence within relationships.
If you want to find a safe person,
make sure they communicate openly,
with good boundaries…
and can let you be who
and where you are.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
Welcome to episode 250 where we look at the behaviors that put "eggshells on the floor" in our relationships.
In this episode, we talk about the intricate dynamics of relationships impacted by "eggshell creators" – individuals whose behaviors consistently force others to tiptoe around them to avoid conflict or upset. We explore the various manifestations of such behavior, where it comes from, and how these patterns can erode trust and emotional well-being in relationships. By shedding light on the role of these "troublemakers," we can gain insight into recognizing and navigating toxic dynamics, empowering them to establish boundaries and cultivate healthier connections.
Key Takeaways:
Recognize the Signs: Pay attention to patterns of behavior in your relationships, such as feeling anxious or constantly on edge around certain individuals. Recognizing the signs of "eggshell creators" can empower you to address toxic dynamics and prioritize your emotional well-being.
Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from the emotional toll of walking on eggshells. Asserting your needs and limits in relationships is crucial for maintaining your autonomy and fostering healthier interactions.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals if you find yourself navigating challenging dynamics with "eggshell creators." Building a support network can provide validation, perspective, and guidance as you work towards creating healthier relationships.
Walking on eggshells isn't
just about avoiding conflict;
it's about sacrificing your own
emotional authenticity
to maintain a fragile
sense of stability.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
Welcome to episode 249 where we look at how interactions in childhood can create fear in our adult relationships.
In this episode, we delve into the intricate ways childhood emotional survival strategies shape our adult relationships. From observing parental behavior to adapting to avoid conflict, these learned behaviors often lead us to walk on eggshells in our interactions. The "eggshells on the floor" phenomenon reflects the cautious, tiptoeing approach we adopt to prevent discomfort or conflict, often at the expense of authentic communication. Additionally, we explore how rescuing behaviors further enable avoidance, hindering genuine growth and understanding in relationships.
As we examine these patterns, a recurring theme emerges: the importance of allowing ourselves and others to "sit in the uncomfortable." This involves stating the truth, setting boundaries, and relinquishing the need to rescue. By embracing discomfort, we create space for authentic conversations, fostering trust, respect, and genuine connection.
Key Takeaways:
Recognizing Childhood Influences: Childhood experiences deeply shape our relationship dynamics, leading to subconscious behaviors like walking on eggshells. Understanding these early patterns is crucial for breaking free from old cycles.
Letting Go of Rescuing Behaviors: Rescuing someone in conversations, though well-intentioned, often hinders honest communication. Letting them "sit in the uncomfortable" while stating the truth and maintaining boundaries empowers both parties to engage authentically.
Embracing Discomfort for Growth: Discomfort in conversations is an opportunity for growth and understanding. By challenging the urge to rescue and allowing space for vulnerability, we pave the way for deeper connections and resilient relationships.
To find the real issues, just work
backward from the conflict,
finding the 'eggshells'—those places of fear,
avoidance, and unresolved things.
That'll show you exactly what happened.
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! [email protected]
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!
From the publisher's feed