As Narrator 2 says in this episode, "English majors must perforce English maj," so here's the episode you've all been dreading: the Fakespeare. Come on, stop whining, you knew it was coming.

If you're not familiar with A Midsummer Night's Dream, well, there are lots of really excellent versions out there. We prefer you NOT listen to those, however, as that's going to make this seem even more torturous than being read Vogon poetry before being shot out into space.

That said, it was fun to write and fun to do, so ... get over it. Also, the second half should show up on Feb. 14, a day some folks seem to think is special.

Thou hast been listening to...

Our music was writ by John Faley, and our artwork from the fevered brow of Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding our dialogue did edit, and Shannon Perry our sound design'ed. Lamentably, our story of Oz 9, much like the alien of old, did explode from the head of Shannon Perry and wreaketh much havoc upon a space ship. Check out more nonsense at https://oz-9.com.

Know you now that Oz 9 doth hang about with many a rascally and ill-reputed tale amidst the Fable and Folly Network; go thee hence to fableandfolly.com and there beguile your idle hours with true delights.

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This episode... it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I'mma go with "parallelogram," because it looks like it's about to fall over, but it's a shape, anyway.

We meant to get this out when we were still in the throes of the holiday season, but hey, it's Winnie the Pooh Day, and I reckon that's worth celebrating. It's also National Michigan day, soooooo, go, Michigan, I guess.

You've been listening to:

Our music is by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (keep an eye out for Spy Grandma, coming from Simon & Schuster in Spring 2026!). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Sound designer of this colossal mess is Shanon Perry. Oz 9 is written - apparently in her sleep - by that same Shannon Perry, which explains a lot.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

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It's episode 90! And that's the best thing we can say about it.

There's a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don't get between (former) Cpt. Jessie and the cheese sauce, or lives may be lost.

Also, we found a crate of "blight piston bottles." Anyone know what those are good for?

You've been listening to:

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Happy new year, ya crazy Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the skies and buy yourself something pretty at one of our merch shops: https://oz-9.com/supportus/

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It's nearly Christmas as I type this, and I'm bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me happy. I like making the world just a little bit goofier and more confusing.

We have some additions to our ship today, and they are stupid cute in the manner of those "got my kid a puppy" videos that are all over the socials, only these might make you cry for entirely different reasons. But we'll see, I guess; they don't have many teeth yet.

Anything else I should mention? Oh yeah: happy hols, Space Monkeys. You're the biggest bunch of goofballs this galaxy has ever seen (and I'm talking about the galaxy with DNA's Hooloovoos in it, so you know it's seen some things), but we love you.

You've been listening to...

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. "Into the Swamp" was composed and performed by Thomas Golding. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Until next time, Space Monkeys, watch the stars and try to understand the mustard.

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It's Thanksgiving, Oz 9 style, which means the only thing anyone has to be grateful for is surviving it.

If you've ever wondered about the origin of stuffing, well, we have a theory for you. Also, were you aware you speak fluent Klep? It's true. And you didn't even have to practice. Take THAT, Duolingo.

You've been listening to:

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Normally, the super-talented Chrisi Talyn Saje does the sound design, but this time you're stuck with Shannon Perry, who also penned this mess.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com.

See you next time, space monkeys. Happiest of holiday seasons, if and however you celebrate.

From yer ever-lovin',

Crew

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We turned five years old yesterday. The podcast, I mean — Oz 9 just turned 5. How we've lasted that long, we have no idea, but we suspect it has something to do with the fact that everyone is slightly fried from the pandemic and not giving real life 100% of their attention just now. And that's cool. Real life can be a bit of a turd on a hot plate now and again, so suspending reality right alongside disbelief seems like a healthy decision.

All of which to say, thanks for hanging out with us. Gravity — both the being-serious kind and the falling-down kind — is not something we handle well. You clearly don't either, and we're happy you chose to unfurl your freak flag across the nose of the 9.

High five, space monkey. We wouldn't be here without you. And the healer pod.

You've been listening to:

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork.

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound engineer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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Remember those days, hanging out at the mall, thinking Spencer's Gifts was the height of counter-culture because they had festive roach clips? Yeah, me neither. I spent all my time at Waldenbooks.

Anyway, get ready for a trip backwards in time to the mall. I can almost smell the Orange Julius and Cinnabon (which reminded me that I made coffee that was currently cooling in the other room, dammit. I'm back now) and hear the yelps as another pre-teen gets their ears pierced at Claire's.

There's a very confused security guard -slash-sommelier, some moaning, and somebody ends up with an earring in their forehead. (Now taking bets on who THAT turns out to be.)

Because you haven't got the sense nature gave a goat, you're listening to:

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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Continuing in our endeavor to educate the public, much of the cowboy vernacular here is authentic. Well, some of it. "Brown gargle," for example, is totally legit. Should it come up on Jeopardy at some point, we expect compensation.

The crew continue to explore the Oz 9, sometimes voluntarily. We know these stupid sandwich machines are trying to tell us something, but knowing that and actually understanding what that "something" is are two different things, and let's face it, this bunch have only just managed speech.

You've been listening to

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Thomas Golding composed and performed the additional ragtime music for this episode.

Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (who also did our COMIC BOOK and our cool pin set!! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Find this and all our episode transcripts on our website, https://oz-9.com.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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Honestly, there's just nothing good to be gained from listening to this. It's a bunch of people old enough to know better being very silly while affecting various accents (with varying degrees of success). Good ahead and listen if you want to, but please wear headphones and do something redemptive with your hands, like making food for unhoused people or picking your nose. We'll all feel better about it.

Much thanks to Sarah Golding, to whom all credit (and frankly, blame) belongs.

Yer ever-lovin',

Crew

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I know, I know, I skip a lot of bonus episodes too, but srsly, give this one a listen. Not only is Jonathan smarter than the entire crew of the Oz 9 concurrently and consecutively (yes, low bar, but still), he's also got really fun things to tell us about. Hear the interview, then for goodness' sake, stick around and hear his full-cast, immersive audio adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow."

Thanks as ever to John Faley, for the gorgeous Oz 9 music!

Links: 

Curious Matter Anthology: https://curiousmatterpodcast.com/episodes/

Support Season 3, The Exile on Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jonathanpezza/curious-matter-anthology-season-3-the-exile

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