-Packing for a trip has to be the thing I stress about most in life. Even if it’s for two nights, I’m packing as if I’m setting out on the Oregon Trail. Going to scorching hot Florida? Better bring a hoodie in case it gets chilly one night. Underwear and sock drawers get completely emptied out in case of any accidents. T-shirts? Might run through 3 a day, you never know. Need some nice shorts, some relaxing shorts, some nice pants, some relaxing pants. Am I going to need towels for the shower, beach, pool? Better pack 4. Go to the pharmacy and just clean out the aisles - cold meds, allergy pills, Tums. You name it, it’s in my toiletry bag. And then after you pack everything, you gotta think of every single item in the world you might be forgetting. Check your bag 100 times. The whole process almost just makes leaving your house not even worth it.

-I think the slowest moving time in the universe is when you’re waiting for an Uber. And nothing is a bigger indictment of how impatient we are as humans. We get on our magical smartphones where we can press a few buttons and get in this fancy, fast vehicle to go take us anywhere we want, but if it says we have to wait more than like 7 minutes for it to get here, we’ll start complaining about how slow Uber is and what an inconvenience it is to our lives.

-One of my biggest dilemmas in life is when there’s a bug inside and I want to open a window or door to let it out, but I then get worried that I’m also just giving an opportunity for more bugs to get inside. It’s always extremely stressful.

-I recently saw a car with a bumper sticker of the “This is fine” dog meme with the house on fire and it just really made me wonder, what kind of shit is that guy going through where he decided that his life was in a bad enough state to just permanently slap that on there and drive around with it. Like that’s not an impulse purchase. That can only be bought when your life has been spiraling out of control for years.

-A lot of kids like to say “Yeah school just isn’t really for me” or “I’m more street smart than book smart” or “I’m not good in school, but I’m smart in other ways.” And on rare occasions, those people are right and they go on to become successful entrepreneurs. But in most cases, they’re actually just bad in school because they’re idiots.