Paid in Green Peppers

It’s Christmas in July! This episode the guys review Santa Claus vs. The Devil. No, not the recent Supreme Court case, but the 1959 Mexican Matinee Masterpiece. Vince leads the discussion for the first time, Shane rails against Christmas for the thousandth time, and Pat laughs like a hyena sucking nitrous oxide as per usual. The entire movie is only about twenty minutes long, but there’s an hour of filler, including a dance number in Hell, ten minutes of some of the most racist stuff you’ll see outside of a Goebbels film, a Santa who is probably high, a werewolf blacksmith, and, for some reason, Merlin. Also, a bunch of kids that have no parents that raises the Spector of Epstein Island. PLUS the super secret origin of the podcast! (Make sure you listen all the way through, kids!)

That’s right, Pat & Shane are back from the gutter — and they’ve brought someone with them! Season 4 opens up with a review of Force: Five. Yeah, no else has ever heard of it either. Directed by the same man that brought us Enter the Dragon and Game of Death, it’s essentially the same movie, but without any martial artists. Some people think that this movie served as the template for the 80’s TV show The A-Team, but then again some people believe that the earth is flat and that the Edsel was a cool looking car. Highlights include spurs on house slippers, a bloodhound bull, and some of the most un-spectacular stunts ever accidentally caught on film. Also, a surprise guest! And just remember, if the game is afoot, the answer is a shoe.

The guys review what is literally one of the worst movies ever made, ThanksKilling. The whole movie is just a foam rubber turkey head puppet on a rampage. Yeah, that’s it. Just further proof that each day we drift further away from God’s love. When the highlight of a movie is a puppet wearing Groucho glasses, you know that it’s no good.

How bad is it if you can’t afford David Carradine? Pretty bad, apparently. The Challenge, starring Scott Glenn, a/k/a the Poor Man’s David Carradine, came out in 1982, just ahead of the Ninja craze. Maybe they should have waited a year and added a few masked assassins in black pajamas. A muddled tale involving the ownership of swords, it’s one of the last appearances of Toshirô Mifune. One can only assume he died of shame. Trigger warning: don’t watch this if you are sensitive to animal abuse.

Godfrey Ho strikes again. Ninja Operation 7 is the sequel to a nonexistent movie and, well, shouldn’t exist either. A mishmash of jungle people, martial arts, and a lost mine that’s obviously a tourist cave, Ho hits a new low. Pat had technical difficulties making him sound like he had a stroke, Shane actually had a stroke from rage. Enjoy!

In this episode the boys revisit Infra-Man, one of Pat’s favorite movies of all time. Spoiler alert: Shane didn’t like it. Infra - Man is just a cut rate Power Ranger episode without the good fight choreography, at least according to Shane. It’s been a while since Shane got this worked up. So while he recovers from the aneurysm he suffered whilst recording this episode, take time to enjoy some first rate rants!

In the first episode of Season 3, the guys review Christmas Evil, a wretched mess of a story about an idiot that falls into self delusion so much he starts killing people. (Same as that god-awful Joker movie that came out last year) Featuring the worst ending of any movie ever. Yes, worse than Ninja Terminator.

This episode we review J.C., an obscure bad biker gang film from 1972. Falsely advertised with the premise of Jesus Christ being reincarnated as the son of an Alabama preacher, this film fails to deliver on any level. When the highlight of a film is Slim Pickens being Slim Pickens, your film is lacking.

This week the boys review Home Sweet Home, the horrendous garbled mess of a movie from 1981. Starring the dude from Body by Jake, this early slasher film fails to deliver any kind of entertainment. It’s supposed to be in color, but it’s mostly just black. Even Pat couldn’t find any redeeming qualities in this schmootz.

In this episode Shane and Pat delve deep into the philosophical meaning behind Santo and Blue Demon vs. The Monsters. Finding that the lacks anything resembling a deeper meaning, or for that matter, anything resembling a plot, Shane rages at the world, and prays for the end of mankind. Surprisingly, this may have been the least offensive film reviewed by this podcast. Mexican cinema at its finest?