Paragon Marathon

Hear me heathens, and wizards, and serpents of sin: all your dastardly doings are paaast! Now a holy endeavour is about to begin, when you listen to this podcaaast!

Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah in a surprisingly musical exploration of Cervantes' 17th century adventure, "Don Quixote." Beginning with an overview and a patented Paragon Marathon Quizzy, Dan takes the siblings through Cervantes' intentions and perspective in putting together his literary triumph. They discuss the Chivalric Romance--both as a genre worthy of imitation and a played-out source of early-modern cliches--and its place in literary history, and in the imaginations of avid readers, like our Man of La Mancha. Contained within: potions of bodily eruption, exasparated Sanchos, and the Sopranos finale is great, actually.

Whithersoever they blow, onward to glory we go!

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they survive the intro wars and cast their minds forward to that far off day in 1997 when Skynet saw fit to deal humanity its killing blow; that's right, they're watching James Cameron's incomparable action sci-fi classic, Terminator 2! Beyond heaping accolades on Cameron's subtle, revealing, immaculately-tuned writing and trading undeniably flawless Schwarzenegger impressions, the Marathon finds time for general sci-fi musing and Skynet simping while reminiscing on this 90s action staple. Included within: laboured breathing, desperate paperclip dexterity, eight-year-old narcs, and fawning over goo-cop.

You don't need to Shout at the Devil, he's right here. God.

Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they are eternally chewed in the triple-mawed jaws of the Damned One in the deepest circle of Hell. Continuing from their exploration of Satan's Origins and a devilish quiz on Demonic monikers in Part One, the Marathon sprints through Dante so as to take a more luxurious pace through Milton's "Paradise Lost," struck as they are by the tantalizingly tortured yearning of the goth Rebel Angel. Contained within: infantile evangelical morality, Eve being done dirty, Faust's Cleopatra waifu, and, uh... South Park. Hail Satan!

The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting you to listen to this podcast episode. Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they blunder right into the Evil One’s hands by talking about the origins of Satan as a literary figure, legendary mythic adversary, and embodiment of evil. Beginning with some origins in the Hebrew Bible and moving quickly into some apocryphal texts and medieval reinterpretations, the Marathon dashes through the writings of the Second Temple period and the various takes by the Early Christian movement before getting bogged down in a devilish quiz about the many, MANY names the Prince of Darkness has gone by in his day. Contained within: snakes of many sizes (some rideable, some not), possible Gorilla Redeemers, and high-stakes fiddlin

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they travel to the far of world of a completely historically accurate England in 984 AD; that's right, they're watching 1996's "DragonHeart!" Dennis Quaid proves once again that he has absolutely no business acting in anything as he drags down real fantasy names like Pete Postlethwaite and Sean Connery in this CG-heavy mid-90s adventure film about a humble dragon and his noble heart. Included within: placement on the slime spectrum, extensive Sean Connery impressions, and the origins of Dragon Heaven.

Do you know what the Sanskrit word for "war" means?  Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they unpack the philological puzzles of "Arrival" (and the Ted Chiang short story it's based on) and address the deeply human desire for more cows. Beginning with an examination of what may be the best sci-fi film of the last decade, the Marathon uses this text as a jumping-off point for a discussion of how language affects our perception of reality, and how humans are defined (or inhibited) by the systems of communication they create! Contained within is an unqualified look at spacetime and non-linear perception, canaries, the quaint 2016 version of alt-right dorks, and some bizarre Scandinavian etymology.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they sneak a peek into the (pig’s) ball-room to cover 2005s “Pride and Prejudice." Kiera Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen take the RomCom back to it’s gilded roots, giving us the original tsundere couple. Featuring a jam-packed cast of England's finest, (and Donald Sutherland giving us the distant father with a heart of gold we go bug-wild over) Pride & Prejudice gives us the burn and yearn and the historical decadence we CRAVE. Digressions include mummies, Kate & Leopold, and pig anatomy (see: balls). It's going to be 2 Proud 2 Prejudice. 

HWAET! Gather close that ye might hearken, dear listeners, to the story of the original Geat GOAT, the wily and worldly Honey Bear himself, Beowulf! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah on a literary quest through dusty Anglo-Saxon tomes as they explore the Old English legend of the titular hero’s quest to beat mega monster ass and earn eternal renown. Contained within is a discussion of the source text and its various versions, a Kenning Quiz for the ages, and a fearful look at the waking nightmare that was Robert Zemeckis’ 2007 Uncanny Valley monstrosity, AKA “Shrek 5.” Beware, for here be dragons.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they unearth the TRUE origins of Smash Mouth's "All Star" in 1999's "Mystery Men." Turns out Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria and William H. Macy were deconstructing superheroes long before multiverses, The Boys, and... (looks around) these flavourless, unremarkable Marvel movies! Featuring a remarkable cast of 90s powerhouses, a bizarre and unexplained cyberpunk-suburban setting, and one of the greatest Geoffrey Rush performances of all time, this movie is a genuine banger that served up some disturbingly accurate pop-culture Nostradamusry. But hey, we'll FORK-give you if you FORK-got.

The Journey continues on disc 2: Join Tom, Dan and Sarah in part two of their Tolkien bonanza as they move onto a discussion of Tolkien's Warrior-Hero, male tears in film, and the possibility that it might not be Arwen and Aragorn who are Beren and Luthien come again. Also included: some discussion of the social criticism circling Tolkien's work, some of Peter Jackson's more... alarming choices, and a little Fatty Lumpkin lore. Don't say we have come now to the end; white shores are calling, you and I will meet again.