Parenthoot with Neha

In this deeply personal episode, Neha sits down with Snigdha Ghosh Roy — digital marketing entrepreneur, mother of two, dog parent to Fang, and partner of fifteen years to Tushar Das. Snigdha's story is not a straight line. It winds through eight years of infertility treatment, a deliberate decision to stop, adoption registration, two completely unexpected natural pregnancies, pandemic parenthood, and the quiet daily work of building a marriage between two people who are, by every measure, poles apart. What holds it all together, she says, is one word: acceptance. Not resignation — acceptance. This episode is about what that actually looks like in practice.

Why You Should Listen

If you have ever felt like your life is moving sideways when everyone else seems to be moving forward — this one is for you. Snigdha speaks with rare candour about infertility's isolation, the sunk cost trap of repeated treatments, what a miscarriage feels like when no one around you has the vocabulary for it, and how she and Tushar found their footing not in spite of their differences but because of the work they did around them. She also talks about what it means to parent with intention — firmly, warmly, and without making your children into projects.

Notable Quotes

• "Acceptance is not resignation. Acceptance is understanding and absorbing the person or the situation as they are, before you can do anything about it."
• "My life revolved around these cycles and these injections. And then they tell you the dates when you need to try. It's God awful. It's disgusting after a while."
• "I was so broken that I didn't cry. It was more a loss of hope. It was deeper than tears."
• "We talk about love language. We never talk about the fight language. It took me years to understand how important it is to fight, to confront, to resolve."
• "Children need more space than we admit. They don't need to be projects. The easiest way for them to have what you want them to have is to let them observe that."

Practical Takeaways

• Name the fight language. In calm moments, tell your partner what you need when you're upset — what the indicators are, when to give space, when to step in. Don't assume they'll read the room.
• Let the village be messy. Different caregivers, different rules. Rather than enforcing uniformity, Snigdha teaches her children that every person has different preferences — and that's not confusion, that's emotional intelligence.
• Know when to stop. Whether it's a treatment cycle or an argument — recognising your limit is not failure. It is self-knowledge.
• Appreciate out loud. Snigdha makes it a point to tell Tushar, specifically and regularly, what she values about him. She believes men are rarely on the receiving end of that, and it matters.

Resources & References

• CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) — India's nodal body for adoption. If you are considering adoption, this is where the process begins. cara.nic.in
• iCall, TISS — Free and low-cost mental health support, including for infertility-related grief and pregnancy loss. icallhelpline.org
• The Infertility Project (Instagram: @theinfertilityproject) — Community-led conversations around infertility in India.
• Fang — A Labrador Retriever and, as Snigdha puts it, the one who started it all.

About the Guest

Snigdha Ghosh Roy is a digital marketing and content entrepreneur based in Delhi NCR. She has built her professional life around work she genuinely loves, from home, on her own terms. She is mother to Fang (Lab, first child, non-negotiable) and two humans born sixteen months apart during the pandemic. She has been with her partner Tushar for fifteen years and will tell you, without hesitation, that finding him is the one thing she did absolutely right.

Connect with Snigdha on LinkedIn.

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Shruti Taneja – mother, aspiring farmer, social worker, and "lazy entrepreneur" – joins Neha for a conversation about parenting as a practice of deep listening and radical trust. Shruti and her partner Abhishek moved to Solan, Himachal Pradesh, a decade ago to build a regenerative farm and a life where work, family, and mission are indistinguishable from each other. In this episode, she speaks about releasing the grip of identity, co-parenting as co-creation, why she abandoned her homeschooling ideology when her daughter asked to go to school, and how her daughter Aisha continues to be her most honest teacher.

Why You Should Listen

This one is for parents who feel the tension between their values and the reality of raising a real, opinionated child. Shruti doesn't perform conscious parenting – she lives it, contradictions and all. She talks about the fights, the ideologies that got cancelled, the unlearning that happened in real time. If you've ever felt like your child outwitted your parenting plan, this episode will make you feel seen.

Notable Quotes

• "Nature teaches you that the most basic thing of life – not roti kapda makan, but breathing – you're interdependent. So there's nothing called independence really."
• "It was like, you just cancelled my TED talk. So the intentions just go off the window." – on Aisha choosing school over homeschooling
• "It's best sometimes, being a parent, to get out of the way."
• "Kids are beautiful sensing machines."

Practical Takeaways

1. Use the grandparents as a calibration tool. If your parents and in-laws aren't anxious about something, that's a signal it probably doesn't need your anxiety either. They've watched two generations grow up.
2. Presence over hours. One hour of undivided attention – phone face down, fully there – is worth more than a full distracted day. Aisha taught Shruti this by getting "damn irritated" when Shruti had her phone on mid-conversation.
3. Your child's body knows. Shruti never forced Aisha to eat, and she grew into a child who never overeats, reads her own hunger, and makes seasonal food choices intuitively. Trust the body's wisdom.
4. Invest in the village – for yourself, not just the child. A support network doesn't just make children more vibrant; it gives parents breathing room. Build it intentionally.
5. Hold your parenting ideology lightly. Shruti arrived at parenthood with a homeschooling plan. Aisha chose school. The best parenting move was listening.

Resources & References

• Teach for India Fellowship: The two-year fellowship that pivoted Shruti's life from advertising towards education and social impact. teachforindia.org
• Sabarmati Gandhi Ashram, Ahmedabad: Where Shruti encountered the value of interdependence that cracked her "fiercely independent" identity open. gandhiashramsabarmati.org
• Satat Sammelan: The intergenerational sustainability confluence Shruti and Abhishek run in Himachal Pradesh, designed for participants from age 3 to 80.

About the Guest

Shruti Taneja is a mother, farmer-in-the-making, coach, and social entrepreneur based in Solan, Himachal Pradesh. She began her career as a copywriter in advertising before pivoting to education through the Teach for India Fellowship – a shift that changed everything. Over the last decade, she and her partner Abhishek have built a regenerative farm, a consultancy that works with corporates and startups, and a non-profit working towards making Himachal Pradesh regenerative. She is raising her daughter Aisha alongside chickens, cattle, and a learning ecosystem that refuses to separate work from life.

Connect with Shruti on LinkedIn.

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Kavita never planned to be a mother. She told her husband as much before they married. But a chance encounter with a child with Down syndrome in the US set something in motion — a slow, deliberate turning toward a life she hadn't imagined. Nine years ago, she and her husband Himanshu returned to India, filed their adoption paperwork, and within 45 days, brought home Veda — a 16-month-old girl with Down syndrome and a blurry profile picture they were too excited to notice. This episode is the story of that journey: the bonding that didn't look like bonding, the inclusion that doesn't start at school, the achievement pressure she refuses, and the future she has stopped trying to predict. Kavita speaks with the kind of clarity that only comes from having lived something fully.

Why You Should Listen

If you have ever questioned what family is supposed to look like — or felt the weight of other people's ideas about what your child should become — this episode will settle something in you. Kavita does not perform strength. She cries first, she admits it openly, and then she finds her footing. She is also very funny.

Notable Quotes

• "Down syndrome was not even a con for us."
• "I thought bond is like child hugging you. But bond was when only I could understand what she was saying — and then it clicked, because I'm her mom."
• "What if she will be Veda the non-famous? She doesn't need to be something to be respected. Her respect will start from home. That's where inclusion starts."
• "It's weird that I don't see her future. I see my future with her."

Practical Takeaways

• Bonding after adoption can look nothing like what you expect. It may arrive quietly, sideways, in a moment nobody else witnesses.
• Inclusion begins at home — in how you speak about your child, not in which school admits them.
• You do not have to fight every battle. Finding the right people is also a form of advocacy.
• Your child's story belongs to them. Share your perspective, not their history.
• The "what after us" fear is real — and also universal. You are not alone in carrying it.

Resources & References

• CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority): India's nodal body for adoption. For families exploring adoption: cara.nic.in
• Down Syndrome Federation of India: Runs weekly support sessions for parents, including those in rural areas with limited access to therapy. downsyndromefederation.in
• Down Syndrome International: Global resources, research, and community. ds-int.org
• Trisomy 21: The chromosomal condition underlying Down syndrome. A reliable starting point for new parents: ndss.org/resources/down-syndrome-facts
• Sensory and play-based learning: Kavita describes following Veda's lead through puzzles, tracing, and hands-on curriculum. A useful framework: understood.org/play-based-learning
• Child digital privacy: Kavita's thoughtful approach to sharing online. For parents navigating this: internetmatters.org/issues/sharenting

About the Guest

Kavita is Veda's mother — and that, she will tell you, is the most defining thing. Based in Chandigarh, she has spent the last nine years sharing her family's life through her Instagram account Learning with Veda and her YouTube channel, with the quiet, steady purpose of showing parents — especially those who have just received a Down syndrome diagnosis — that this life is not scary. It is, in fact, full. Her account has grown into a community of over 14,000 people, with lawyers, advocates, and parents who show up for each other. She didn't plan any of it. Veda found her.

Follow her on Instagram

Watch her videos on YouTube

Visit her website

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Paula Simpson – writer, marketing professional, New Zealander-in-Bangalore, and mother to five-year-old Sulaiman (Sulu) – joins Neha for one of Parenthoot's most unflinching conversations yet. Paula talks about missing her globe-trotting pre-mother life, navigating prenatal depression and PPD during a COVID lockdown far from home, sleep training in secret while her husband was away, and the razor-thin line she walks every day between work, marriage, and motherhood. She doesn't perform gratitude. She tells the truth.

Why You Should Listen

If you've ever quietly grieved the life you had before your child, felt guilty for missing your old self, or wondered whether the mental load ever actually lifts – this episode is for you. Paula speaks with the kind of clarity that only comes from having been to the edge and back. She's funny, sharp, and completely unfiltered. Equal parts relief and recognition.

Notable Quotes

• "I would be dead if I hadn't sleep trained him. 100 percent."
• "I bet your mother sometimes just could not wait for you to go to sleep and sat there and cried some nights because they missed what little freedom they had."
• "I feel like I'm walking on a very narrow razor and at any point I could slip. I'm just waiting to see what falls over –and hoping it's not too important."
• "It comes back eventually. Not today, but one day."

Practical Takeaways

• Prenatal depression is real and often goes unnamed. If something feels off during pregnancy, trust it and seek support early.
• Sleep deprivation is a mental health crisis in disguise. Addressing your child's sleep may be one of the most important things you do for your own wellbeing.
• The mental load doesn't disappear with hired help or family support – it travels with the mother. Acknowledging this is the first step to asking for real help.
• Building a local community of mothers with similarly-aged children is not a luxury – for many, it is survival infrastructure.
• Gentle parenting works best anchored in consistent routine and non-negotiable boundaries, not in the absence of rules.
• Science-backed parenting resources exist. Learning to evaluate studies (sample size, geography, methodology) helps cut through the noise of unsolicited advice.
• Emotional regulation in children starts with emotional regulation in parents. Sequestering yourself for two minutes is not failure – it is modelling.

Resources & References

• On Matrescence: https://matrescence.in
• On Postpartum Depression — iCall India (free counselling): icallhelpline.org — Vandrevala Foundation Helpline (24/7, India): 1860-2662-345 — Postpartum Support International: postpartum.net

About the Guest

Paula Simpson is a writer and marketing professional based in Bangalore, India. Originally from New Zealand, she has lived and worked across Europe, Asia, and the US. She runs a business with her husband Reza and is mother to Sulaiman, age five. Paula writes with wit and honesty about expat life, parenting, and everything in between – follow her on LinkedIn for the kind of posts Neha says you simply must read.

• Follow Paula on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saucyandspiceadventures/
• Connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-simpson-9715b73a/

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Supriya Sharma is an entrepreneur, mother to three-year-old Samara, and someone who has built her life without a template — quite deliberately. In this episode, she talks about straddling Bangalore and the Bay Area, seven months of solo parenting while launching a business, a postpartum experience that was both hormonal and humbling, and a birth story that left her in a state of trance. She speaks with rare openness about resentment, resilience, the village she built with intention, and why she thinks nine-to-five is inherently patriarchal. This is a conversation about holding everything at once — and slowly learning not to drop yourself.

Why You Should Listen

If you've ever felt guilty about a nap, questioned whether nature is sexist, or wondered how other parents keep going when the systems fall apart — this one is for you. Supriya doesn't perform wellness. She talks about the hard first month of solo parenting, the postpartum resentment nobody warned her about, and the two years it took to stop measuring her worth by her output. She also talks about joy — about a daughter who is basically a tiny guru, a café that doubles as her office, and why fun is not just for weekends.

Notable Quotes

• "I joke about this decade being the messy, messy, messy middle — somewhere in this spectrum of life where everything is happening at once."
• "Sometimes I'm just jealous of a dad brain. Why are there so many tabs open in my head?"
• "Is nature sexist? That's how the resentment bit started."
• "It felt like Samara was there listening, waiting for us to get ready."
• "Don't measure your self-worth by how productive you are today. It took me two years to fully let go of that."
• "Nine to five is extremely patriarchal. I do not think I can operate like that."

Practical Takeaways

• Build your village with intention. Supriya and her husband actively requested her parents to relocate. The village doesn't always show up — sometimes you have to design it.
• Protect one routine anchor. No matter the continent, Samara's nap schedule stayed sacred. Consistency in one area can hold everything else together.
• Productivity looks different postpartum. Block your calendar for rest without apology. Supriya has been doing it since pregnancy — and credits it for her output, not despite it.
• Trust your gut over the timeline. She delayed her business launch by two and a half months because solo parenting demanded it. The business still happened.

Resources & References

• Vipassana meditation: dhamma.org
• Postpartum mental health — If this episode brought something up for you, iCall India (9152987821) offers accessible counselling support.
• The productivity myth in motherhood — Also discussed in Episode 53 ft. Natasha Uppal, where the idea that productivity is "inherently patriarchal and capitalistic" was first raised on this show.

About Supriya Sharma

Supriya is an entrepreneur currently building in the health tourism space, helping people discover healing journeys and navigate medical travel globally. She also researches deep tech in healthcare, exploring what human health might look like 15 years from now. Before this, she led sustainability initiatives across the Asia-Pacific region at Procter & Gamble. She lives between Bangalore and the Bay Area with her husband Kunal and daughter Samara, and describes herself, on any given day, as "a zombie fueled by coffee — and extremely grateful."

• Follow Supriya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/supriya_curocircle
• Connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/supriyaa-sharmaa/

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Tasha became a mother just over a year ago to her daughter Simrat, and she arrived at this conversation with zero performance and a lot of fire. She lives in Jagdalpur with her husband Inder, her in-laws, and an extended family of kids, chaos, and Sunday cricket. In this episode, we talk about what early motherhood actually feels like — the rage, the hormonal crash, the identity vertigo, the C-section recovery no one prepares you for — and how Tasha turned all of it into research, reflection workshops, and a growing movement to center the mother. This is not a feel-good episode. It's a feel-true one.

Why You Should Listen

If you've ever felt furious in early motherhood and been told to "enjoy the phase," this episode is for you. Tasha names the rage window — that early, electric season when the injustice of it all is undeniable — and argues that waiting it out is exactly how the system stays broken. She brings lived experience and policy-level thinking into the same breath, making this one of the most layered conversations we've had on Parenthoot.

Notable Quotes

• "You have to be a mother to understand what it takes to be a mother. When your time, your income, your identity, your sleep — they are all renegotiated all at once. That's when you know."
• "38 weeks pregnant, full term. The next day, I'm a mother. How do you expect me to be a mother from day one?"
• "God gave us breastfeeding. Why didn't you give us two pairs of hands?"
• "For what mothers are penalized, the exact same thing fathers are rewarded for."
• "Are we ready to build care like how we build roads, how we build power?"

Practical Takeaways

• For new mothers: The rage you feel in early motherhood is not dysfunction — Tasha calls it the rage window, and it's information. Don't wait it out. Stay connected to at least one thing that makes you feel like yourself. You will parent better for it.
• For partners: Tasha's husband thought she invented the terms "motherhood penalty" and "fatherhood premium." He Googled. He was shocked. Start there.
• For employers and HR: If your mental image of an ideal employee is someone with uninterrupted availability, you've designed the role around one archetype. Tasha's challenge: redesign, don't just accommodate.
• For everyone: Ask yourself how you'd describe your mother in five professional words — not emotional ones. Notice what shifts.

Resources & References

• ILO 5R Framework for Decent Care Work — Recognize, Reduce, Redistribute (unpaid care), Reward and Represent (paid care workers): ilo.org
• Motherhood Penalty & Fatherhood Premium — Research overview via Wellesley Centers for Women: wcwonline.org
• Matricentric Feminism — coined by Dr. Andrea O'Reilly; a feminism that places the mother, not just the woman, at the center: jarm.journals.yorku.ca
• UN Women Toolkit on Paid and Unpaid Care Work: unwomen.org

About the Guest

Natasha Virdi is a consultant and the founder of the Mother the Mother Movement — an advocacy and research initiative working to surface unconscious biases around motherhood, make unpaid care work visible, and push for systemic change in how organizations and societies support mothers. She conducts reflection workshops and micro-circles that shift how participants see maternal capability. She lives in Jagdalpur with her husband, her one-year-old daughter Simrat, and a joint family that makes Sunday cricket possible.

You can follow her work on ⁠LinkedIn⁠.

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In this Spotlight episode, Neha sits down with Khushboo Goel, founder of The Hush Tree — an after-school, year-long fellowship for children aged 6 to 13 that blends books, nature, emotional intelligence, habit-building, and community. Khushboo traces her journey from a 90-person Haveli childhood soaked in collective love, through engineering and an MBA, to building a space she always knew children needed — one that teaches them not about distant solar systems, but about their own bodies, emotions, and inner lives. She talks about the gap between what schools teach and what children actually need, the invisible battles of entrepreneurship, what equal parenting looks like in her home, and why calmness — not achievement — is what children need most right now.

Why You Should Listen

If you've ever felt that your child's day is one long sprint from one class to the next, this episode will feel like a deep exhale. Khushboo speaks with rare clarity and warmth about slowing childhood down — not out of idealism, but from years of working closely with children and watching what actually sticks. This one's for parents who want to build a home with intention, not just a schedule.

Notable Quotes

• "They were learning about solar system and not their own bodies. They were learning about Japan, they were not learning about the city that they are living in."
• "The biggest challenge I faced in this journey has nothing been external. It's only been internal. All the things that I wish all children to develop are the things I have also struggled in."
• "What do children need the most right now? Calmness. If you shut the noise and just do the thing, it's actually easy. Many things are very easy."
• "When the child knows that there is no mama, there are two mamas, two papas."

Practical Takeaways

• Start the morning with 5–10 minutes of stillness or movement. Children who begin their day without rush carry that calm into everything else.
• Plan the week together as a family. Khushboo finds that when children write it down, it actually happens.
• Build the environment before building the habit. Don't tell a child to read — build a library corner. Don't tell them to eat well — stop keeping junk in the house. The environment does the parenting when you're not in the room.
• Get partners aligned first. Before routines, before programs, Khushboo says the most important thing is for both parents to sit and agree on the kind of life they want to build for their child.

Resources and References

• The Hush Tree — Khushboo's after-school fellowship for children aged 6–13: https://www.thehushtree.com
• Atomic Habits by James Clear — the framework Khushboo references as central to her parenting and to The Hush Tree's philosophy: jamesclear.com
• Sahaj Marg — the meditation community Khushboo references as her earliest model of what intentional community can feel like: sahajmarg.org

About the Guest

Khushboo Goel is the founder of The Hush Tree, an after-school journey for children that nurtures their mind, body, and soul through habits, values, books, nature, and community. Trained as an engineer and holding an MBA, Khushboo spent years teaching children on the side — in schools, in neighborhoods, with underprivileged kids — before formalising what she always knew needed to exist. The Hush Tree's flagship offering, the Hush Fellowship, is a year-long program that gives children aged 6 to 13 the roots to grow any branch they choose. Khushboo lives in Dehradun with her husband and their three-and-a-half-year-old son, Udyan, who is already, by all accounts, a willing test subject for everything she believes in.

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In this episode, Ashiish V Patil—storyteller, creator, and father to Risshan—shares what it truly means to parent a neurodivergent child. Risshan, diagnosed with autism and ADHD, has not only reshaped the family’s life but also Ashiish’s understanding of identity, masculinity, relationships, and success.

From early diagnosis and denial to acceptance and eventually celebration, Ashiish walks us through the emotional, practical, and relational realities of autism parenting. He speaks candidly about the strain on marriage, the loneliness of fatherhood, and the quiet but powerful transformation that comes from choosing presence over perfection.

At its heart, this episode is not just about autism—it is about becoming more human through parenting.

Why You Should Listen

• If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child and want to feel less alone
• If you’re navigating fatherhood and questioning traditional roles
• If you want a raw, honest look at how parenting reshapes identity and relationships
• If you’re trying to understand autism beyond clinical definitions
• If you believe storytelling can build empathy and awareness

Notable Quotes from Ashiish

• “Acceptance is not surrender. It’s clarity.”
• “Autism doesn’t just affect the child. It rewires the whole family.”
• “He didn’t just make me a father. He made me more human than man.”
• “There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. One is a choice. One is not.”
• “Life became smaller on the outside, but richer on the inside.”
• “Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. Just a present one.”

Practical Takeaways for Listeners

• Redefine presence: Parenting is less about milestones and more about everyday, ordinary moments.
• Acceptance unlocks action: Stop resisting reality to start supporting your child meaningfully.
• Build systems, not just hope: Financial planning, support networks, and long-term care matter deeply in neurodivergent parenting.
• Protect your relationship: Be intentional about carving out “me-time” and “we-time” beyond parenting roles.
• Let go of societal scripts: Traditional markers of success may not apply—define your own version of “enough.”
• Teach independence gradually: Focus on equipping, not controlling.
• Choose to solve, not just struggle: Awareness and advocacy begin with personal action.

Resources & References

• Ashiish V. Patil’s children’s book on autism (published by HarperCollins India) – A visually rich, accessible introduction to autism for children
• Ashiish's book Branded Content Boss
• Risshan Patil's Youtube Channel
• Risshan's Instagram Profile

About the Guest

Ashiish V Patil is a storyteller, writer, and media professional with a background spanning MTV, advertising, and film. He is also an autism advocate and father to Risshan, whose journey has shaped much of his work and worldview. Through books, music initiatives, and digital content, Ashiish uses storytelling as a tool to build awareness, empathy, and acceptance around neurodiversity.

• Connect with Ashiish on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashiishvpatil/

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In this episode, Patruni Sastry (aka SasWhoMa) – India’s first openly trans non-binary drag parent – invites us into a version of parenthood that resists labels and embraces lived reality. Together, we explore what it means to raise a child within an out mixed-orientation marriage, while navigating identity, visibility, and care in a society that often struggles to make space for difference.

From an unplanned journey into parenthood to raising a three-year-old in an environment rooted in both awareness and openness, Sas shares how parenting has expanded – not diminished – their individuality. They speak candidly about fear, especially around societal prejudice, and how community, visibility, and intentional parenting become tools of resilience.

This episode also unpacks nuanced ideas – like why Sas chooses not to strictly practice gender-neutral parenting, the importance of not imposing beliefs on children (even progressive ones), and how parenting is less about authority and more about co-learning. At its heart, this is a conversation about raising children – and ourselves – with empathy, curiosity, and courage.

Why You Should Listen

• If you’ve ever felt like your version of parenting doesn’t “fit the mould”
• To understand queer parenting in India beyond stereotypes or theory
• For a refreshing, honest take on individuality within parenthood
• To rethink ideas like gender-neutral parenting, visibility, and representation
• For a grounded reminder that parenting is a process – not a rulebook

Notable Quotes

• “There are two things in my life which I haven't planned. One was drag and other one was my kid.”
• “I, as a parent, I never wanted to kind of put my brain into my kid's brain.”
• “Our society is not gender neutral… I couldn’t push my child into a battlefield unprepared.”
• “If we don't have representation, we would always assume a certain kind of a family.”
• “Anything which is stringent in its own nature is problematic.”
• “Parenting is… a process of self-learning.”
• “If you are a good parent, you will think about yourself first… selfishly.”

Practical Takeaways

• Parenting ≠ losing yourself: It can expand your identity rather than shrink it
• Avoid ideological rigidity: Even well-meaning frameworks can become restrictive
• Equip, don’t impose: Offer children tools and perspectives, not fixed answers
• Visibility matters: Representation creates safety – not just awareness
• Co-parenting is dynamic: Roles must shift, not stay fixed
• Community is support: Parenting doesn’t have to be isolated
• Self-care is not selfish: Your stability directly impacts your child’s well-being

Resources & References

• Swikar – The Rainbow Parents: A support network for parents of LGBTQIA+ individuals https://www.swikar.org
• International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia (May 17) https://may17.org
• Understanding Gender Identity (UN Free & Equal) https://www.unfe.org
• Queer Parenting Narratives (The Wire / IndiaSpend / Gaysi Family) https://gaysifamily.com

About the Guest

Patruni Sastry, popularly known as SasWhoMa, is a Hyderabad-based drag artist, performer, and activist. They identify as a trans non-binary person and are among the first openly visible queer parents in India. Through their art, Sas uses drag as a medium for storytelling, education, and building empathy around gender and identity. As a parent, they are raising their child with openness, intentionality, and a commitment to both individuality and community.

• Follow Patruni on Instagram
• Follow them on Facebook
• Connect with them on LinkedIn

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In this conversation, Divya Dugar—journalist, author of Chaos in the Coupe, and mother of two—invites us into a life that is anything but linear.

From building a home across countries to raising “wild ones” alongside rescue dogs, her story moves fluidly between chaos and clarity.She speaks candidly about love, partnership, and the reality of raising children in a home full of movement, emotion, and responsibility—where parenting often feels like “two managers running a company.”

At the heart of the episode is a profoundly moving account of loss—Divya shares the experience of losing her first child at 40 weeks, and the long road of grief, healing, and choosing motherhood again. This experience shapes her parenting—infusing it with both fierce love and deep anxiety.

The conversation also challenges modern parenting narratives—particularly the pressure created by social media—and reframes what it means to “do it right.” Through stories of tantrums, screen time, guilt, and repair, Divya offers a grounded philosophy: parenting is not about perfection, but about presence and starting again.

Why You Should Listen

• If you’re tired of idealised parenting narratives and want something real
• If you’ve ever felt guilt, overwhelm, or like you’re “not doing enough”
• If you’re navigating grief, identity shifts, or motherhood after loss
• If you’re raising (or hoping to raise) kind, curious, emotionally aware children
• If you want to rethink parenting beyond rules, checklists, and comparison

Notable Quotes from Divya

• “You are a parent, but you don’t have a baby.”
• “Most of the time we feel like we are two managers running this company.”
• “There is no manual for parenting.”
• “I do lose my mind sometimes… and then I feel very guilty about it.”
• “This cannot be one thumb rule for all.”
• “It’s okay to make mistakes… just don’t take one bad parenting day to the next.”

Practical Takeaways

• Reset matters more than perfection: Bad days are inevitable; carrying them forward is optional.
• Parenting is deeply personal: What works for one family may not work for another—adapt, don’t imitate.
• Guilt is not a parenting strategy: Awareness and repair are more valuable than self-blame.
• Children need presence, not performance: Time, attention, and emotional safety outweigh rigid ideals.
• Co-existence builds compassion: Raising children around animals can nurture empathy and responsibility.
• Social media is not a benchmark: Curate what you consume to protect your mental space as a parent.

Resources & References

• Chaos in the Coupe by Divya Dugar (published by HarperCollins India)
• Research on child development and emotional regulation: Harvard Center on the Developing Child: https://developingchild.harvard.edu
• On grief and stillbirth support: https://www.sands.org.uk (Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Charity)
• Responsible pet adoption and rescue awareness in India: https://www.peopleforanimalsindia.org

About the Guest

Divya is a journalist, writer, and author of Chaos in the Coupe. Her work spans storytelling across cultures, travel, and lived experiences. She has reported for international platforms, travelled extensively, and built a life across India, France, and Thailand.A passionate animal rescuer, Divya has raised and travelled the world with her indie dogs, advocating for adoption and compassionate coexistence. She is navigating parenting with honesty, humour, and a refusal to conform to perfection.

• Follow Divya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chaosinacoupe/

💬 Join the Conversation

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If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review, subscribe, and share it with your friends and family!

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☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha Your support helps keep the show running.