Parenting Impossible – The Special Needs Survival Podcast

In this episode of our "Parenting Impossible" podcast, Annette is joined by "crazy and loving" mom, wife, and author of the book "DEAR LOVED ONES: An Honest Guide to Helping the Special Needs Family You Love," Julie Falcone.

In her hilarious and heartfelt book, Julie shares her unfiltered experience of raising four children diagnosed with autism, ADHD, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, depression, developmental delay, and oppositional defiant disorder, giving readers a behind-the-scenes look at what it's like to raise children with special needs on a daily basis and listing a variety of ways family members and friends can truly support their special needs loved ones.

Julie shares accounts of very real, honest experiences, fears, and insecurities so many mothers of children with special needs face, as well as her goal for writing this "letter" to people outside of the special needs community.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

Earlier this year, our founder Annette Hines introduced the sister company of Special Needs Law Group of Massachusetts, Special Needs Family Services.

As part of this launch, we brought on new staff members to help us hit the ground running in 2021. One of these additions to the team is Kerri Whalen, our new Practice Administrator and the guest for this episode of Parenting Impossible.

The subject of this episode is one that we get asked about a lot: What happens when you move your family from one state to the next?

While states' rights can be liberating, they also present challenges as there is no uniformity of laws and benefits. This can cause a lot of problems for families who move to a different state and end up receiving disparate treatment from what they have gotten used to and relied on.

Kerri knows this circumstance all too well as she recently moved from Maryland to Massachusetts with her family, including one of her teenage sons who is on the autism spectrum.

Kerri shares her experiences of trusting her gut to know what was best for her son, learning from her mistakes along the way, and navigating the different systems and rights between states that so many parents struggle with as they relocate their families.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

When it comes to estate planning, it's important to know that it is a process, not a one-and-done event. The same is true for creating a special needs plan.

As she does every January, host Annette Hines kicks off the new year with a discussion on the importance of special needs planning. In this episode, she is joined by her favorite podcast guest, her husband and law partner, Mark Worthington, as they discuss the things parents, guardians, and caregivers should update in their special needs plans to start 2021 off on the right foot.

The chaos, loss, and uncertainty we all faced last year have brought more people out to create plans than ever before. While these tools have existed for a long time, the sense of urgency for setting up these vehicles is notably high as the concept of developing a plan has become more real and more important to those with disabilities or a disabled loved one under their care.

Together, Annette and Mark have developed 3 easy steps for refreshing your estate plan in the new year.

After the many ups and downs of 2020, it's easy to fall into negative ways of thinking.

"Did I accomplish anything I set out to do? Was last year just a waste? Look how many mistakes I made and times I failed…"

Instead of dwelling on the past, the New Year presents the perfect time to examine the goals you weren't able to accomplish in 2020 and use them to fuel your fire and make a game plan for 2021.

In this episode of our Parenting Impossible podcast, host Annette Hines walks listeners through 4 steps to make 2021 the best year yet, specifically as it relates to achieving your goals with a healthy mindset.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

2020 has been a year of great challenges and loss. However, with the hope of 2021, we can make this new year the best year yet.

We've learned a lot about ourselves over the past year, and if we use the knowledge we've gained moving forward, we can prioritize wellness in a way that allows us to create safe places at work and at home, even when we are struggling.

In this episode of "Parenting Impossible," Annette is joined by the Executive Director of Gracepoint Foundation, Ian Adair. Ian is also the author of Stronger Than Stigma, A Call To Action: Stories of Grief, Loss, and Inspiration!, a book that shares stories of ordinary people in extraordinary situations that helps people connect and break down stigmas behind mental health, wellness and more.

As someone who watched his family members face addiction and suicide attempts and faced his own anxiety and depression, he brings a first-hand perspective to the topic of mental health.

As we've adapted to the "new normal" of 2020, we've seen mental health get pushed to the side.

Fast Company Magazine noted that 37% of survey participants reported working longer hours in the past year. We are still seeing anxiety, depression, and suicide – Annette notes that there have been, "a lot of lonely deaths this year." Caregivers, parents, health care workers, and more are feeling the weight of burnout.

With all of this negative, how can we flip the conversation?

First of all, Ian believes that the meaning of leadership at work needs to change from managing work to also managing the people to ensure their wellbeing.

Secondly, he believes that as a society, we need to promote the inclusion, awareness and support of people with mental illness. We also need to provide flexibility for people who need time to receive care.

Overall, Ian says, "If you can be anything, just be kind."

For more information about breaking down stigmas around mental health and mental illness or hitting "reset" in 2021, follow Ian on Twitter and Instagram. You can also follow along with the Gracepoint Foundation on their website or Facebook page.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

It's that time of year when we all prepare for the future, and this year, there is even more uncertainty than usual. If you are preparing your estate and special needs plans for the new year, this episode will answer frequently asked questions and clarify details about the taxation of these special trusts.

The taxation of trusts can be confusing, especially in the case of special needs trusts.

One of the first issues that Annette addresses is the need for a beneficiary to file an individual tax return. Trustees should warn their beneficiaries of this requirement and ask them to refrain from submitting their tax returns until they hear from you and receive the information that you will share with them.

Annette sends out a letter at the beginning of each year to all of her beneficiaries to let them know that she will be following up with more data and information. More than this communication, you also need to decide if you are going to pay for the tax preparation or not. This is also a cost that the trust could pay for itself.

Another issue that Annette addresses is one of the most frequently asked questions: do you need a tax identification number for a D4A (Self-Settled Trust) or an SNT (Special Needs Trust) trust? Generally, the answer is no. However, you may need one later on when you activate or fund the account. If it sits unfunded, you do not need a tax ID number as you have no reason to activate the account at that time.

This process looks different for each person and each trust, so you should contact your tax specialist and/or estate planner for more information and advice. While this topic can be difficult, Annette hopes that these answers will help you make 2021 the best year yet.

2020 has been challenging to say the least, but with the hope that 2021 brings, there are ways that you can plan ahead to benefit your future self. You'll be glad you did.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

In this episode of "Parenting Impossible," host Annette Hines answers all of your frequently asked questions. As a speaker, podcast host, author, lawyer, business owner and mother, managing all of her roles can be a challenge, but her goal is to help other people in the disability community find the resources they need in one place. That's what this podcast is all about!

Annette says, "The information system is so fractured in our community." In light of this, we need to have one place to go for information. In this episode, she shares her advice and knowledge about general questions for legal terms, caregiver burnout, the COVID-19 vaccine, being an author and podcast host and more. Most importantly, she says that you need to share your story in your own way.

Since each case is vastly different, she is not able to give legal advice to individuals who are not her client. This is not due to the lack of legal fees. Annette needs to know a case and its specific context well in order to give people the best possible legal advice.

More than legal services, you can check out our family services or our free resources for more information to help answer your questions. For legal advice, inspiration and other resources, visit our blog here. Similarly, you can always listen to previous podcast episodes (and be sure to leave us a review), or download our free eBook here.

You can also join our free Facebook community for the disability community, the "Circle of Care," or watch the webinars and other speaking events on YouTube. The purpose of this community is to create a space for people to be themselves, ask questions and get support and answers, so please share these resources with your friends!

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

Rosalind "Roz" Marshall-Jones joined "Parenting Impossible" to share her experience as a caregiver and her advice for other caregivers to avoid burnout and plan for the future.

In Roz and Annette's professional and personal experiences, they have seen the lack of future planning through their work with a number of clients. They both recommend having conversations with siblings early on, even small conversations, before moving on to include parents and other family members in the conversation about the future of a loved one's health and estate. This practice can help you prevent burnout and set family plans and expectations ahead of time.

During the pandemic, we have all been forced to stay home more often than normal, and this can make creating a work-life balance difficult—especially for caregivers. Roz says that caregivers specifically need to have conversations about the future of a person's condition and their ever-adapting needs at the beginning of their work with a patient so that the expectations and plans are set from the start. Otherwise, burnout can follow quickly.

Another reason that burnout is common for caregivers is that many of them are managing two households. The stress and guilt that can come from their work are easy to bring home and have an impact on their family's life as well. For Roz, self-care is one of the most important ways to make a difference in your work and home life. She says, "You can't give from overwhelm, you can only give from overflow."

You can follow Roz on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and Youtube, and you can find more information about her business, Jacksonville's Best Caregivers, here.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

The holiday season can be stressful enough without a global pandemic adding to an already tense situation. In this episode of Parenting Impossible, Dr. Rebecca Branstetter shares her tips to help parents and school psychologists manage stress in healthy ways in front of kids.

Whether your children are stressed about school, the loss of traditions or the holidays, their negative emotions towards those times can take a toll on their mental health. But more than providing information to parents and professionals to improve mental health, Dr. Branstetter wants to bring transformation to schools and homes.

In the midst of these trying times, she recommends using these three hidden blessings as teaching moments for yourself and your kids:

1. Teach Empathy
2. Teach Flexibility
3. Teach Self-Compassion

Many children who are facing stress either act out or internalize their emotions. You can teach them empathy by co-regulating the situation; you have the power to bring calm to the chaos. Unstructured time can be challenging, especially for children with disabilities. You can ask them to sketch themselves in their imagined future (ex: their ideal holiday season) and then help them manage their expectations. Thirdly, you can only help your child through their stress if you take care of yourself in your stress. You should practice self-compassion through your behavior to show your child how to respond to stress as well.

If your child is especially stressed about the new format of online school, reach out to your school psychologist to create a working partnership for the betterment of your child. They may feel bogged down in case after case due to the unfortunate cycle of their role, but these professionals want to help your child reach their full potential.

In addition to reaching out for support to help your child, you should make sure that you are taking care of yourself. Dr. Branstetter says, "When you find you are criticizing yourself, add the phrase 'in a global pandemic to the end of it.'" This practice puts everything in perspective and adds context to your current stress.

You can download Dr. Branstetter's free resource for parents and professionals at the bottom of this page, and you can join Annette's Facebook group, "Circle of Care" for more information and support.

You are not alone in your stress this holiday season.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.

Siblings' experiences in the special needs community are often not addressed, especially in the professional realm. Parenting Impossible guest, Jessica Leving Siegel, shares her story of growing up with a brother with autism to shed light on the challenges that she faced and that many special needs siblings face every day.

For Jessica, the biggest issue was her hesitancy to express her emotions about her brother to her parents out of fear that she would add to their stress. In her mind, she was not allowed to feel frustrated or upset. She remembers thinking, "That's not an emotion I can have."

Beyond restraining and denying her own emotions, she also felt left out. Her parents focused so much of their time on her brother that they always assumed she was doing fine. Having lived this firsthand, one of her biggest pieces of advice for parents is to check in on ALL of your kids to see how they are doing, even the ones who seem to have it together, and give them the space to express their feelings beyond their immediate responses.

Jessica's experiences have led her to write the book, "Billy's Sister: Life when your sibling has a disability." The positive feedback that she received for this work encouraged her to start her podcast, "The Special Siblings Podcast" and create a nonprofit organization, The Center for Siblings of People with Disabilities, to support and empower other siblings like her.

These experiences taught Jessica the power of the phrase, "You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself."

You can find more of her resources for special needs siblings here to help as you care for yourself and your loved one, and as you plan for the future.

Annette Hines has been practicing in the areas of Special Needs, Elder Law, and Estate Planning for more than 20 years. Ms. Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice and podcasts as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep, personal understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to help others within the special needs community.