Podcast Episode 6: When Survival Mode Becomes the Norm, Learned Helplessness & Chronic Parental PTSD

Download the Free Learning Guide & Workbook Here:

https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/podcast-workbook-optin

Schedule a Consultation Meeting with Dr. Ed Callahan Here:

https://calendly.com/dr-ed-callahan/introduction-consultation-w-dr-ed-callahan-appt-20

Episode 6 - Description:

Are you constantly walking on eggshells at home, unsure whether your teen will explode, shut down, or withdraw? You may be living in survival mode — and so may your child. In this episode, Dr. Ed Callahan (founder of Neurodiversity University) and guest Amy J. explore how the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses impact both neurodivergent teens and their parents. They share real stories, practical strategies, and powerful insights to help you break the cycle of stress and move toward calm, connection, and confidence.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

I am Dr. Ed Callahan, and I help parents of Neurodivergent teens & young adults guide their child into a successful, independent, and thriving adulthood with less conflict, distress, and resistance.

Join me for deep dive discussions of practical ideas and strategies for effectively parenting Neurodivergent teens and young adults, including: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and other learning disabilities like Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.

Services: I work with families personally to help them with their neurodivergent teen or young adult to mitigate their challenges and distress and maximize their opportunities and independence. If you would like to find the peace and reduce the pain, schedule a time so I can help guide you to go from chaos to confidence, use this link to book a call with me:

https://calendly.com/dr-ed-callahan/introduction-consultation-w-dr-ed-callahan-appt-20

Time Stamps:

00:00 - Welcome & Why This Works for ND Families

00:10 - Meet Amy J.: A Parent’s Perspective

02:32 - Survival Mode Becomes the Norm

03:40 - From Chaos to Calm: The Goal

04:15 - Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn (The 4F’s) Explained

07:29 - Upstairs vs Downstairs Brain (How Regulation Works)

08:19 - The 4F’s in Teens: What It Looks Like

09:23 - The 4F’s in Parents: Boundaries, Enabling & Fawning

12:34 - “Lies” or Fawning? Reframing to Build Trust

13:23 - You Can’t Control Them—You Can Control You

14:50 - Emotional Contagion: Don’t Catch the Fire

16:14 - Common Parent Pitfalls (Real-Life Examples)

18:18 - The Long Game: Repair, Trust & Connection

21:00 - Biology of Survival Mode: Tunnel Vision & Panic

22:03 - Prefrontal Cortex Maturation & Screens

25:04 - Quick Regulation Tools: Breathing, Walks, Time-Outs

28:33 - Feeling “Right” in Survival Mode (And Catching It Early)

31:01 - Model Regulation: Teaching by Example

33:42 - Upgrading Old Parenting “Software”

36:07 - Escape the “Developmental Derby” (Stop Comparing)

39:52 - Rethinking Boundaries Without Shame 

42:20 - When Parents Live in Survival Mode (C-PTSD)

45:40 - Learned Helplessness in Parents & Teens

49:00 - Breaking the Cycle: New Collaborative Model

52:02 - About Neurodiversity University (Apply It to Your Family)

54:20 - What to Do Next: Guide, Coaching & Community

55:52 - Educational Disclaimer (Not Therapy)

Other Helpful Links:

Email: [email protected]

YouTube: @EdCallahanPh.D

Free Training at: www.Neurodiversity-U.com

#Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDParenting #AutismAcceptance #AutismAwareness #NeurodivergentTeens #SpecialNeedsParenting #FightFlightFreeze #ParentalStress #ParentingNeurodivergent #LearnedHelplessness #CPTSD #ContinuousTraumaticStress #EmotionalRegulation #UpstairsBrain #DownstairsBrain #CollaborativeParenting #MentalHealthAwareness #NeurodiverseFamilies #ParentSupport #NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDTeens #ADHD #AutismSigns #AutismAcceptance #ParentingStruggles #PDAAwareness #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDAwareness #AutismSupport #PDAParenting #ParentingTips #MeltdownManagement #NeurodiverseFamilies #NeurodivergentSupport #Parenting #ADHDLife #ParentingNeurodivergentKids #RethinkingDiscipline #ADHDSupport #OCD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ParentingNeurodiverseKids #AutismAcceptance #ParentCoaching #ParentSupport #DemandAvoidance

Watch my Free Training at www.Neurodiversity-U.com. Then use my online meeting scheduler to set up a meeting with me to discuss your family's specific needs.

Join my Parent Support Community: https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/parent-your-neurodiverse-child-community

Email: [email protected]

Shari Murray, MSW, MAMFT, CPC - [email protected]

Why traditional parenting strategies often fail neurodiverse teens and how to pivot effectively. The critical balance between pushing your teen toward growth and providing necessary space and patience. How building trust and compassion radically improves your relationship and your teen’s confidence.

Practical techniques for teaching essential life skills through collaborative and supportive parenting methods.

Filled with real-world insights and actionable advice, this episode provides essential tools for any parent committed to nurturing the potential of their neurodiverse teen without unnecessary stress and conflict.

Enhance your parenting journey and join a supportive community at Neurodiversity University: www.neurodiversity-u.com.

Like, Subscribe, & Share for more content on how to effectively parent Neurodivergent Teens and Young Adults with less stress, resistance, and conflict.

Please leave your questions and ideas for future videos and podcast episodes, and we will answer and discuss them as we can.

Ed Callahan, Ph.D - Neurodiversity University Private Coaching (Limited Availability):

6-Session Package (for a limited time, with 6 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/zdfLhwgR/checkout

12-Session Package (for a limited time, with 12 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/7832Rxx2

1 Hour Session: https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/wiEqTyhh/checkout Join my Parent Support

Community: https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/parent-your-neurodiverse-child-community

Email: [email protected]

YouTube: @EdCallahanPh.D

www.Neurodiversity-U.com

Parenting Neurodivergent Teens & Young Adults - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia. #NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDTeens #ADHD #AutismSigns #AutismAcceptance #ParentingStruggles #PDAAwareness #Neurodiversity #ADHDAwareness #AutismSupport #PDAParenting #ParentingTips #MeltdownManagement #NeurodiverseFamilies #NeurodivergentSupport #Parenting #ADHDLife #ParentingNeurodivergentKids #RethinkingDiscipline #ADHDSupport #ParentingNeurodiverseKids #AutismAcceptance #ParentCoaching #ParentSupport #DemandAvoidance

Watch my Free Training at www.Neurodiversity-U.com. Then use my online scheduler to set up a meeting with me to discuss your family's specific needs.

*Episode 4 - Edited and Updated (06.06.25) by Dr. Ed Callahan*

Show Notes: In Episode 4 of the "Parenting Neurodivergent Teens and Young Adults" podcast, Dr. Ed Callahan teams up with experienced parent Amy J. to discuss powerful approaches that transform common parenting struggles into opportunities for deeper connections and successful outcomes. This comprehensive episode explores:

Filled with real-world insights and actionable advice, this episode provides essential tools for any parent committed to nurturing the potential of their neurodiverse teen without unnecessary stress and conflict.

Enhance your parenting journey and join a supportive community at Neurodiversity University: www.neurodiversity-u.com.

Like, Subscribe, & Share for more content on how to effectively parent Neurodivergent Teens and Young Adults with less stress, resistance, and conflict. 

Please leave your questions and ideas for future videos and podcast episodes, and we will answer and discuss them as we can.

Ed Callahan, Ph.D - Neurodiversity University Private Coaching (Limited Availability):

6-Session Package (for a limited time, with 6 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/zdfLhwgR/checkout

12-Session Package (for a limited time, with 12 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/7832Rxx2

1 Hour Session:  https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/wiEqTyhh/checkout

Join my Parent Support Community: https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/parent-your-neurodiverse-child-community

Email: [email protected]

@EdCallahanPh.D

www.Neurodiversity-U.com

Parenting Neurodivergent Teens & Young Adults - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.

#NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDTeens #ADHD #AutismSigns #AutismAcceptance #ParentingStruggles #PDAAwareness #Neurodiversity #ADHDAwareness #AutismSupport #PDAParenting #ParentingTips #MeltdownManagement #NeurodiverseFamilies #NeurodivergentSupport #Parenting #ADHDLife #ParentingNeurodivergentKids #RethinkingDiscipline #ADHDSupport #ParentingNeurodiverseKids #AutismAcceptance #ParentCoaching #ParentSupport #DemandAvoidance

Shari and I discuss how you as a parent perceive and understand your Neurodivergent teen or young adult makes a dramatic difference in how you respond to their challenges, meltdowns, or shutdowns which totally changes the outcome for everyone involved. We also discuss practical strategies to help things go much better! Please let us know if you have questions or ideas for future videos.

Watch my Free Training at www.Neurodiversity-U.com.

Join my Parent Support Community: https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/parent-your-neurodiverse-child-community

Shari Murray, MSW, MAMFT, CPC - [email protected]

Parenting Neurodivergent Teens & Young Adults - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.

Like, Subscribe, & Share for more content on how to effectively parent Neurodivergent Teens and Young Adults with less stress, resistance, and conflict.

Please leave your questions and ideas for future videos and podcast episodes, and we will answer and discuss them as we can.

Ed Callahan, Ph.D - Neurodiversity University Private Coaching (Limited Availability):

6-Session Package (with 6 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/zdfLhwgR/checkout

12-Session Package (with 12 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included): https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/7832Rxx2

1 Hour Session:  https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/offers/wiEqTyhh/checkout

Email: [email protected]

@EdCallahanPh.D

www.Neurodiversity-U.com

#NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDTeens #ADHD #AutismSigns #AutismAcceptance #ParentingStruggles #PDAAwareness #Neurodiversity #ADHDAwareness #AutismSupport #PDAParenting #ParentingTips #MeltdownManagement #NeurodiverseFamilies #NeurodivergentSupport #Parenting #ADHDLife #ParentingNeurodivergentKids #RethinkingDiscipline #ADHDSupport #ParentingNeurodiverseKids #AutismAcceptance #ParentCoaching #ParentSupport #DemandAvoidance

I help parents of Neurodivergent teens & young adults guide their child into a successful, independent, and thriving adulthood with less conflict, distress, and resistance. Deep dive discussions of practical ideas and strategies for effectively parenting Neurodivergent teens and young adults, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and other learning disabilities like Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.

Sign up for my Free Training at www.Neurodiversity-U.com

Click here to Join our Parent Support Community

Private Coaching (Limited Availability):

1 Hour Session

6-Session Package (with 6 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included)

12-Session Package (with 12 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included)

Email: [email protected]

YouTube: @EdCallahanPh.D

I help parents of Neurodivergent teens & young adults guide their child into a successful, independent, and thriving adulthood with less conflict, distress, and resistance. Deep dive discussions of practical ideas and strategies for effectively parenting Neurodivergent teens and young adults, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and other learning disabilities like Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.

Sign up for my Free Training at www.Neurodiversity-U.com

Click here to join our Parent Support Community

Private Coaching (Limited Availability):

1 Hour Session

6-Session Package (with 6 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included)

12-Session Package (with 12 weeks of Neurodiversity University Included)

Email: [email protected]

YouTube: @EdCallahanPh.D