Parenting Paused

Creating a gratitude practice is BIG in the conscious parenting world, yet in reflecting on my early training in when to express gratitude, it felt more like an obligation. Someone gave me a gift, or did something for me and whether I liked it or not I was expected to say "thank you". It became a learned habit rather than a wellspring of true feeling. I was also trained to only value and be grateful for what was deemed "positive" and reject and demean what was perceived as "negative" by others. In recent years I've experienced another kind of gratitude. As I seek equilibration in my being, including both sides of every experience, the positive and negative. I experience acceptance and appreciation for the totality of what is. Visit the purejoy website to download a free copy of the Safeseat

Hearing the word innocence in adulthood, what comes up? I imagine a curiosity, experiencing everything for the first time, innocent from conclusions or the meaning of anything. Looking through my conditioned adult lens I imagine acting childish and relinquishing responsibility for being a good parent. Negating the innocent seeing that is still available from my true self, I see through the lens of "right" or "wrong". My early history, my parenting template, and the hordes of books I read led to judgments and ideas about how, who, where, and when my daughter should be or not be. Instead of innocence, I saw manipulative and threatening behavior. Tune in to this episode to hear more! www.purejoyparenting.com

In my experience, it takes some courage to change old strategies. It is counter instinctual to go back into those very intense feelings that as a child I had worked so hard to get away from.

But also I recognize I must have stability in myself if I want to offer it to my child. That's why I created the Safe Seat process. If you don't know what that is, go to my website, purejoyparenting.com

Next time you hear a judgy thought, especially about your child's behavior, see what happens if you stop fueling the storyline. Take the judgment inside and be with it. Offer it kindness. Inquire. My question to myself is, "do you need to feel right in this moment? What might happen if you open your curiosity to why she acted that way instead of going to your judgment that you are right and she is wrong? Opening my heart supports questioning my judgments that are creating a barrier between my heart and my child. Tune into this episode to hear more about my deep inquiry journey with judgment! Visit Purejoy on the web!

My concept of time tends to be very linear. One step leads to the next, to the next. When I need to be somewhere I start marking out my steps so I can get to where I am going on time. However it was clear from a very young age, my daughter didn't live in a linear time as I did. She had her own sense of time and space, based more in the present moment. It drove me crazy!

Tune into this episode to explore Stepping Out of Time!

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Am I willing to see when my child is defiant and resistant, that there's something in their interior landscape that's distressing, and it may have to do with me and how I'm choosing to be with them? When my daughter expresses intense resistance, I PAUSE and check inside asking: where am I parenting from? Nine times out of ten, I'm parenting from my thoughts, from an agenda. I am refusing to be intimate with the moment. I forget to listen to the amazing, intuitive wisdom that tells me first and foremost, to meet my daughter in her heart's vulnerability. Tune into this episode to support tuning into your heart! Visit Purejoy to download the free Safeseat email course!

Stories are a big part of our parenting journey. So many stories, ideas, beliefs, fantasies, nightmares, so much of our parenting journey is made up of stories. And most of the time, those stories are about the past. Or they're about the future. I don't know about you, but, oh, my gosh, when my child was young and had behaviors that were scary, I projected way out into the future of how she wasn't functioning or she was living at home forever or worst of all wasn't working and was dependent on ME! Tune into this week's podcast to hear more! www.purejoyparenting.com

Do you ever feel like you want to give up? Runaway, disappear, just give it all up in your parenting. Well, if you do, it's OK. It's important to see this desire as a messenger, not a destroyer. If you hear yourself saying, "I can't do this anymore" take heart. It's an opportunity to ask yourself what ways am I being that aren't working any longer? Am I giving too much and refusing to receive? Am I positioning as a victim? Am I using control instead of connection to get my needs met? http://www.purejoyparenting.com

Truly Listening to our children can be a challenge! Often when they are sharing their hearts - we jump ahead to what our response will be and stop listening to what is being said. What would it be like to suspend your judgment and say "tell me more?" Opening your heart to seeing, hearing, and understanding the feelings without coming to a conclusion about the story is an empowered movement. In this episode, I'll encourage you to try something a little different! www.purejoyparenting.com

As strange as it sounds, I almost forgot to become a mama this lifetime! It was a deep inexplicable calling that finally led me to take the courageous step of adopting my daughter as a single mom. I still remember the exact moment they placed my precious daughter in my arms. What a GIFT! Tune in to hear more of this story and explore the power of the gift our children bring. http://www.purejoyparenting.com