Parenting Paused

I found in my parenting journey that there's a delicate balance between caring for our children and unintentionally taking over. What might this balance look like?

As a mama, I find my love knows no bounds. Even though, when my daughter was young, I wanted to shield her from pain, guide her through challenges, and see her thrive I found it challenging to separate out my desires from hers. I discovered that caring involved offering support, encouragement, and coming along side her when she stumbled instead of trying to fix the situation. It was about creating an environment that supported confidence and independence, nurturing her growth rather than overshadowing it.

Truthfully, out of my own need to be a "good" mama, I unintentionally took over. It happened when my love, concern, and desire to protect her veered into taking care of her so she didn't have to experience any pain. What it came down to was I was offering her what I didn't receive when I was young. Even though it was well-intentioned, taking care instead of caring stifled her autonomy, hindered decision-making skills, and created a dependency which inadvertently communicated a lack of trust in her abilities.

Finding the sweet spot involved present listening, empowering her to make choices for her own good, and being an awake presence rather than a director. It was about encouraging her to spread her wings while reminding her that there is a safe base to return to when she needs a rest.

Finding the sweet spot between power and influence is the dance of parenthood. It's about knowing when to step in and hold our personal boundary and when to step back, supporting our children in taking the space to explore, learn, and develop their own sense of self.

Let's celebrate the power of awareness and influence—a force that lasts long after the rules are laid down. Here's to fostering connections, and guiding our children not just to follow our lead but with a love that shapes their journey.

Listen, now.

As the holiday season approaches, I find myself reflecting on the beautiful dance between giving and receiving. This time of year isn't just about the twinkling lights and festive decorations; it's a celebration of the connections we share and the love we have to offer.

There's something incredibly heartwarming about selecting that perfect gift, wrapping it with care, and witnessing the joy it brings to someone's face. Whether it's a thoughtful gesture, a homemade treat, or a simple act of kindness, the spirit of giving creates a ripple of warmth and joy that extends far beyond the physical gift itself.

On the flip side, receiving graciously is equally as special. It's about embracing the love, thoughtfulness, and effort that went into someone choosing that special gift for you. Sometimes, the most precious presents come in the form of time spent together, laughter shared, and memories created.

This year, let's challenge ourselves to be present in both giving and receiving. Let's appreciate the unique joy that each role brings and recognize the inherent beauty in the exchange of love and goodwill.

May your holiday season be filled with moments of generosity, gratitude, joy, and the magic that comes from the genuine connections we nurture.

Disappointment has been on my mind lately, and I imagine you can relate. There are some really great things that come along with parenting and yet it also has its share of disappointments.

I often found myself wrestling with the weight of expectations. It's not easy admitting that the source of disappointment isn't external, rather it comes from within – from the expectations I set on myself as a mother and therefore for my child to fulfill those expectations so I felt good about myself.

We all have dreams and aspirations for our children, hoping they'll flourish in certain areas, follow a certain path. But here's the kicker – kids are their own unique individuals, with their own strengths and passions. Sometimes, they don't align with the script we had in mind. And that can be tough to swallow.

It's a lesson in humility, a reminder that my child is not an extension of me, but a beautifully independent soul on their own journey. Of course, at times you'll feel disappointed, and it's also important to go to your SafeSeat when you recognize these feelings. Noticing that the disappointment is often rooted in the expectations you place on yourself and your kids gives you the opportunity to offer self-kindness.

So, I'm taking a step back, visiting my SafeSeat, recalibrating my expectations, and learning to appreciate the incredible qualities and talents my child possesses, even if they differ from what I envisioned.

Let's keep it real! Your child is not here to fulfill your dreams; they're here to create their own. And in embracing that truth, you might just find a more profound and authentic joy in the journey of parenthood.

Tag, You're it!Do you recall those words?

The exhilarating start of the game tag! Everyone dashes, laughter echoing, as the chase begins. Let the adventure commence!

The art of zigzagging, ducking, and weaving through the playground. Mastering the moves to avoid being tagged is an art form!

The anticipation and anxiety! Spotting that safe base, your heart races as you make a beeline for it, dodging pursuers along the way.

Finally you reach the safe base, pure bliss! The moment of victory, knowing you've outsmarted your chaser and secured a moment of respite.

In Purejoy we believe that parenting can feel very much like this child-hood game. That's why I created the SafeSeat. Think of it as your "safe-base" when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming.

Listen on for how you can utilize this tool and bring back those blissful moments.

Hey lovies! The holiday season is upon us, and that means family gatherings. Ever found yourself at odds with more traditional family values while consciously parenting? I've been there.

I used to get defensive about my parenting style, convinced it was the only right way. But here's the shift – realizing it's okay to have different values. When heading to family events, I'd prep my daughter on their expectations, like manners, which were a big deal for them.

Instead of fighting against it, I framed it as an act of love for my family. Just like prepping her for school rules, it wasn't about right or wrong; it was about understanding the 'lay of the land.'

If you're heading home this year, imagine how it would feel to embrace your family's values instead of needing them to change. Take a new approach by supporting your kids in understanding the practical expectations without making it an emotional issue.

Listen, now.

Hey amazing parents! Leslie Potter here with a heartfelt pause for gratitude on this Thanksgiving week. Whether you're a regular listener or joining us for the first time, THANK YOU for being part of the Parenting Paused community.

Parenting is a wild ride, and kudos to all of you for taking a less traditional path! This week, let's dive into the transformative power of GRATITUDE.

I used to struggle with gratitude – it felt forced. But I realized it's a practice, a conscious choice to find appreciation even in challenging moments. This week, I invite you to join me. What moments evoke gratitude? Share below and let's inspire each other.

And here's a Purejoy challenge: What is it like to offer thanks to yourself? Parenting is tough, but you're here, seeking growth. Practice dropping the self-criticism just for this week and acknowledge the incredible parent you are.

Happy Thanksgiving!

​​If you've been with me, you know we're all about embracing a different way to parent – one that honors each child's unique spirit.

This week, let's dive into PRESSURE. Where does it come from? Have you ever felt the weight of external expectations making you question your parenting choices? I sure have!

In the quest for conscious parenting, I realized much of the pressure was linked to external influences. Ever been there? It can be overwhelming!

But here's the twist – what if the key is shifting your focus? Instead of telling your little ones what they can't do, what if you ask, "What's going on inside them that doesn't feel okay?"

Take a pause this week, break free from external pressures, and understand your children's behavior through empathy. Ever noticed your child expressing stress through their actions?

Listen, here.

Hey there, Purejoy Parents!

How do you find ways to navigate your own emotional triggers when your child's intense feelings strike a chord within you?

In this week's podcast, dive deep into the world of childhood emotions and their powerful energetic impact. Discover how to unravel the intricacies of emotional attunement and how it shapes our little ones' behaviors. Let's explore how understanding and managing these energetic charges can nurture a stronger bond with our kids.

Tune in now for some heartfelt insights!

Parenting is a journey filled with love, learning, and sometimes apprehension about the future. What do you notice in your parenting and energetics when you find yourself worrying about the future rather than parenting from the reality of right now?

Do you parent the child in front of you or an invented future version of them?

As you reflect back on the unexpected and sometimes difficult experiences you've had in the past, you'll see that you met the challenge as it happened.

Here's to parenting with open hearts, free from the weight of future fears, and trusting that whatever comes "you've got it".