Parenting Paused

As a mother I've often found myself imagining not so perfect outcomes about my child's future when I'm confronted with uncomfortable situations.

My child refuses to do homework and BAM my brain immediately starts cranking out thoughts about myself as a parent and the horrible outcomes of a stubborn child who won't focus on their education. Pretty soon I've imagined them on the side of a dark alley, homeless, jobless and I'm accepting the reward for "Worst Mother".

The thoughts swirl and pretty soon I've created an unimaginable series of events that have no actual basis. This then creates anxiety, self-doubt and so much more.

This week we'll review what to do when you're imagination kicks into high gear and how to instead SLOW DOWN and offer kindness and responsibility.

Listen, now.

Do you remember a time when your child came to you expressing disappointment? They didn't make the team, someone made fun of them, or they got a D on their latest project? What came up for you? Did a "playlist" of strategies come up to make them feel OK? As the"music" played did you spring into action to banish those feelings for yourself and your child? On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast learn how to exchange your Go To "playlist" with one that offers a pause, a breath and a healthy strategy to support you and your child in dealing with disappointment. Episode 189: Dealing with Disappointment Check it out here!

It may seem like the goal in parenting is for your kids to behave perfectly 100% of the time.

Instead of focusing on your kids behavior, have you considered what your part is in the dynamic?

For example, you ask your teen to take the trash out and they say, "no" with an eye roll. Conventional parenting says: "kids should show respect by doing what they are told".

What do you tell yourself about your parenting when your kiddo tells you "no" or you perceive them acting "disrespectfully"?

Curious about a new perspective on how to relate to yourself and your child?

Listen here!

If you google the most common words to describe teens, you'll find a list of words:

Risk Takers, Rebellious, Immature

What list of words do you use to describe how it feels to parent a teen?

Powerless, Afraid, Worried.

In Purejoy Parenting, you start right here... how are you feeling? Because often, how you perceive your teen begins with your emotions and conditioned beliefs.

If feeling powerless you may compensate by using a "power-over parenting style instead of choosing to connect with your teen and their knowing.

Are you willing to pause and recognize your innocent heart before you act? Of course, you want to protect your teen and yet are you open to attuning to your teen's innocent heart, too?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover a courageous step to support your teen in knowing themselves!

Parenting a teen can feel 🔥INTENSE!🔥

Have you heard the adage: "Little Kids, little problems. Big Kids, big problems?"

Years ago, I created a Parent Coach model for parents of At-Risk Teens. As you can imagine, their behavior was viewed as provocative! And of course, the parents of these teens whole-heartedly wanted their kids to be successful and avoid suffering.

Partnering with a few brave parents, we explored a different approach that became the crux of the Purejoy view. With kindness for yourself, (always with kindness), are you willing to look at your part in your relationship with your teen?

Discover more here.

In Purejoy, our view is: Thoughts and feelings drive behavior.

When you perceive your child as acting out behaviorally, what happens to you emotionally? Do you immediately judge your child? Take a pause and look a little deeper... What are your thoughts? What do you tell yourself about how your parenting when your child acts out?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore your internal landscape when you are emotionally triggered. Discover how your thoughts and feelings, if unexamined, drive your behavior.

And of course... don't forget the secret sauce: Kindness!!!!

Check it out here.

Discovering conscious parenting is a journey of self-awareness and compassion. It's not about being perfect all the time, but rather being conscious of what's going on inside of you and supporting your child in doing the same. Listen in to explore the possibilities of conscious parenting. Becoming more aware of your actions and reactions, supports creating a more loving and understanding home for yourself and your children.

Parents are superheroes!

While you may not wear a mask and a silly costume like in comic books, you play an incredibly important role in your children's lives and make significant sacrifices to ensure their well-being and happiness.

You may go to great lengths to keep your children safe and secure.

We do it all, but do we have to?

Do you bolt to the rescue when your child is struggling with a problem, relationship or task?

How do you see your child at that moment?

Do you see a helpless child or a victim?

Are you willing to hand the cape over to them while still offering support, getting curious and letting them know they aren't alone? It's a joy to teach them to be their own superhero.

Find out how!

I often found myself worrying about my child's future and if the decisions I was making were the "right" ones. The "ifs" sometimes seemed to take over!

If they are on screens too long, will they fry their brains?

If they eat too many sweets, will they get cavities?

If they push against my boundaries, does that make me a bad parent?

Sound familiar to you?

Constantly focusing on the future and projecting beliefs into it can be exhausting.

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast discover how to overcome the worry, since parenting doesn't come with a crystal ball.

Listen here.

Do you experience a sense of accomplishment when your child behaves in a way that aligns with the values you've instilled in them?

And how do you feel if they don't share the same beliefs as you do?

It's natural for parents to judge their child's actions as good or bad based on whether they align with their own values.

However, it's important to consider where those beliefs and expectations come from.

Do you hear an external voice when judging your child's actions?

Take a moment to reflect on this.

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the benefits of curiosity for both you and your child, especially when it comes to values.

Listen here: Do you Expect Your Child to Have Your Values?