Series: Parenting

Service: Sun AM Worship

Type: Sermon

Speaker: Phillip Shumake

Summary Parenting and Spiritual Discipleship L06

Class Title: Parenting and Spiritual Discipleship

Instructor: Phillip Shumake

Date: 2025-08-06 Wednesday Bible Study

Chapter/Topic: Reaching for the Heart: Building Trust, Expressing Love, and Guiding Values in Children

🧠Key Learnings

Understanding the Heart as the Center of Commitment and Desire

The heart is described as the place of commitment, determination, closeness, and desire. It is where children form their values and make decisions about what they treasure. Recognizing where a child's heart is drawn—whether to engineering, helping others, or other interests—helps parents connect spiritual lessons to their child's passions.

The Role of Trust in Parenting

Trust is a two-way street involving competence and character. Parents must demonstrate trustworthiness through consistent character and competence, while also extending trust to their children by giving them freedoms and allowing natural consequences. Building trust requires honest and respectful communication, and children need to see that parents have their best interests at heart.

Expressing Love Through Meaningful Interaction

Love is expressed through shared activities such as eating, playing, worshiping, reading, and celebrating together. These moments build strong connections and provide opportunities for conversation and spiritual growth. Fathers are encouraged to exhort, encourage, and implore their children, balancing discipline with warmth and involvement.

Guiding Children with Principles and Values, Not Just Rules

While rules focus on behavior, principles and values focus on the heart. Parenting aims to guide children toward repentance—a change in thinking that leads to changed behavior—by helping them see what they may not yet understand. This includes teaching respect, gratitude, diligence, and modesty.

Managing Expectations and Avoiding Overindulgence

Overindulging children with too much praise, material things, or experiences can lead to entitlement rather than gratitude. Parents should balance encouragement with clear boundaries and mercy, fostering responsibility and maturity. Recognizing areas where children have too much and compensating with areas like service or relationship-building is important.

The Reality of Parenting: Imperfection and Perseverance

Parenting is not a perfect or predictable journey. Even godly parents and children with clear purposes face challenges. Parents are encouraged to persevere through highs and lows, maintaining trust and love despite setbacks.

✏️ Key Concepts

Concept 1: The Heart as the Center of Commitment and Desire

Definition: The heart is the inner place where commitment, determination, closeness, desire, values, and conscience reside.

Key Points:

• The heart is linked to what a child treasures and desires.
• Biblical references (Acts, Proverbs, Matthew) emphasize the heart's role in spiritual transformation.
• Understanding a child's interests helps parents connect spiritual lessons effectively.

Example / Analogy: Andrew's early passion for engineering and robots illustrates how a child's heart is naturally drawn to certain treasures, which can be used as avenues for teaching life and spiritual principles.

Concept 2: Building and Extending Trust

Definition: Trust involves confidence in someone's competence and character, and it must be mutual between parents and children.

Key Points:

• Parents build trust by demonstrating character and competence.
• Children earn trust by proving responsibility.
• Honest, respectful communication fosters trust.
• Trust is extended gradually, with the internet and smartphones often being the last freedoms granted.

Example / Analogy: The analogy of driving a car—parents trust a child to drive only when they demonstrate both skill and character. Similarly, children trust parents who respond calmly and honestly.

Concept 3: Expressing Love Through Shared Experiences

Definition: Love is shown through intentional time spent together in activities that foster connection and communication.

Key Points:

• Shared activities include eating, playing, worshiping, reading, and celebrating.
• Fathers have roles in exhorting, encouraging, and imploring their children.
• Small gestures like humor, touch, and surprises strengthen bonds.
• First experiences and shared hardships build lasting memories.

Example / Analogy: The nightly routine of brushing teeth together became a cherished moment of connection and joy, illustrating how simple routines can build love.

Concept 4: Guiding Children with Principles and Values

Definition: Parenting focuses on instilling heart-based values and principles that lead to genuine behavioral change, rather than merely enforcing rules.

Key Points:

• Principles guide the heart; rules govern behavior.
• Repentance involves a change in thinking leading to changed actions.
• Parents help children become aware of what they don’t yet understand.
• Teaching respect, gratitude, and diligence is central.

Example / Analogy: The story of children learning to tell the truth through the ice cream and salt analogy demonstrates how principles help children understand the importance of honesty.

Concept 5: Balancing Encouragement and Boundaries

Definition: Effective parenting balances positive reinforcement with clear limits to prevent overindulgence and promote gratitude and responsibility.

Key Points:

• Too much praise or material indulgence can lead to entitlement.
• Clear boundaries with mercy foster maturity.
• Encouragement should be sincere and balanced with discipline.
• Parents should identify areas where children have excess and compensate with areas like service or responsibility.

Example / Analogy: The discussion about saying "no" as a gift teaches children that not all desires can be fulfilled, preparing them for real-life boundaries.

Concept 6: Parenting Realities and Perseverance

Definition: Parenting involves challenges and imperfections, requiring perseverance and trust in God's guidance.

Key Points:

• Even godly parents and children face struggles.
• Parents must accept that not every moment will be perfect.
• Building trust and love is a long-term process.
• Biblical examples like Samson’s parents illustrate this reality.

Example / Analogy: The story of planning a special outing to watch jumbo jets that ended in disappointment reminds parents to expect ups and downs in their journey.

🔄 Q&A/Discussion

Question 1: Where do parents find opportunities to engage their children in conversation?

Answer 1: Common opportunities include car rides, dinner tables, bedtime routines, playing simple games, and outdoor activities like kicking a soccer ball or shooting hoops.

Question 2: How can parents build trust when children are hesitant to tell the truth?

Answer 2: By creating an environment where honesty is valued and consequences are handled with mercy, using analogies like the salted ice cream to illustrate the importance of truthfulness.

Question 3: What are some signs that children might be overindulged?

Answer 3: Children may become selfish, demanding, or lack gratitude. They might have too many experiences but lack deep relationships or acts of service.

📚 Assignments

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