"Why Trying to Control Your Kids Makes Parenting Harder (And What to Do Instead)"
Do you ever feel like parenting is a constant power struggle? If you've ever believed it's your job to control every aspect of your child's behavior, today's episode will completely change your perspective. Join Brian as he debunks one of the most common parenting myths—that control equals good parenting. Discover why letting go of control doesn't mean letting go of boundaries and learn how shifting from "control" to "connection" can transform your family dynamic.
Why control is an illusion that makes parenting harder.
How behavior is a symptom, not the actual problem.
Practical strategies to build real influence through trust and understanding.
Parenting is not about producing a perfect outcome; it's about nurturing the conditions for your child to grow.
Discipline rooted in fear creates temporary compliance but undermines long-term growth.
Challenging behaviors communicate underlying needs. Understanding them is key to real solutions.
Genuine authority comes from trust, empathy, and relationship-building—not force or intimidation.
Choose ONE step to practice daily this week:
Shift to Influence:
Decode the Behavior:
Build Connection-Based Influence:
Model calm responses.
Provide simple, empowering choices ("Shoes first or jacket first?").
Invite your child's cooperation rather than commanding it.
Consider deeply: "What is your purpose as a parent?" Is it about shaping your child’s behavior or nurturing their growth toward resilience and empathy?
"Decoding Outbursts: Handling Toddler Tantrums to Teenage Meltdowns." Learn how to effectively respond to intense emotions, reducing tension and increasing trust.
Resources:
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Kennedy, B. (2022). Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. Harper Wave.
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Murray, D. W., Rosanbalm, K., & Christopoulos, C. (2015). "Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: Foundations for Understanding Self-Regulation from an Applied Developmental Perspective." Duke University Center for Child and Family Policy
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