Parenting The Adlerian Way

Alyson Schafer’s Parenting Teens FB Group

Into (0.00) Some Adlerian theory on parenting teens Q1 (8.10) I don’t trust my super social 17 year old to not meet up with friends when he goes out. Q2. (19:25) We disapprove of the girl my 15 year old son is dating, and feel she is a bad influence. Q3. (25:45) My twin 11 year old boys love each other but fight too much, especially at bedtime in their shared room. They also constantly bug me to play video games, which I limit.

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Q1 (6:17) My 18 yo DD has severe depression / anxiety and spends her days on Netflix and has stopped doing homework. I am done policing. What else can I do? 

Q2 (10:38) My family has been following the COVID protocols, but the grandparents have not.  With bubbles opening, how do I let them know they can’t hug or kiss the grandkids without hurting their feelings?

Additional Adlerian Resources to Check out: 

NASAP North American Society for Adlerian Psychology 

ICASSI International Committee of Adlerian Summer Schools and Institutes

Adlerpedia All Things Adler

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Q1. (4:45) How do I talk to my kids about racism and the riots
Q2. (13:00) My son saw the viral video of George Floyd being killed and I fear it has traumatized him.  How do I help him process this?
Q3. (19:26) What can I do as a white parent to ensure I don’t race a racist child?

Q1. (1.05)How do I get my 12 yo boy who has become moody, to open up and talk to me about what is wrong?

Q2. (11.00) My kids are starting to play on the street with social distancing rules, but I don’t trust them to actual keep their distance. What do I do?

Q3. (15.30) My 8 year old son is exhibiting anxiety in going out in public now that more things are opening up.  How do I help him?

Q4. (21.05) The whole family has become snappy and I am yelling more. Everything is a battle. How do I get my family back on track?

Q1. (0.0) I am using your Adlerian parenting approaches but my husband has not studied them yet.  How can I manage our different parenting approaches? 

Q2 (8.26) I am trying your techniques on ignore when the kids fight and just walking away, but they follow me or they get physical with one another. 

Q3. (15:00) My kids are using zoom calls to stay connected with friends but when I check they were being disrespectful and just watching a friend play instead of visiting with one another.  

Q4. (17:28) My daughter is using tech to stay connected with her friends more since COVID.  Now that they are all on-line,  they are excluding my daughter on FT group chats like “mean girls”

00:00 Alyson’s thoughts on education and homeschooling during Covid. 

Q1 (8:53) My Daughter struggles with math and says “I’m stupid”.  How do I get her to do her on-line math homework without a fight? 

Q2 (18:00) My son does his homeschooling on line in the morning from his bedroom, but when I check on him he is on youtube.  How do I get him to do schoolwork without policing? 

Q3 (24:24) My son won’t sit still to do his homework. He gets up and down and it ends up taking him twice as long.  

Q1 (1:17) 12 yr old competitive dancer has gained a lot of weight during covid and I want to bring this up to her properly. 

Q2 (5:44) 2.5 yr old has lost interest in potty training. How do I motivate them?

Q3: (11:05) 7 yr old loves our new puppy but refuses to follow the rules and be gentle. What should I do? 

Q4: (18.37) 8 yr old is loud and shrieks all the time.  How do I get this to stop? I have tried everything. 

Alyson’s blogs on the topic of encouragement:  

https://alysonschafer.com/category/best-parenting-practices/praise-encouragement/

Q1. (1.05) What are the consequences for a 12 yr old daughter who is mean to her 9yo bother?

Q2. (17.20) When is it okay to swear? My 13 year just started.

Q3. (23.30) Help in bringing back and improving family meetings now that they are teenagers.

Q1.  Attached Toddler won’t let mom out of her sight in the house

Q2. 6 year old still soiling underpants 

Q3. How to deal with lying. 

Link to Po Bronson’s Article on lying research:  https://nymag.com/news/features/43893/

List of home responsibilities for children by age: https://alysonschafer.com/home-responsibilities-by-age/

Today’s questions:

Q1. Can I get some pointers on trying to work from home during Co-Vid with kids
Q2. My kids keep coming into my office while I am working
Q3. My kids won’t leave me alone when I have to take a biz call.
Q4. Dealing with a picky eater

Alyson’s upcoming free webinars: https://alysonschafer.com/workshops/