“We feel we gave birth to a whole new person”

"Sophie" never talked in school until 4th grade. No one heard her voice besides parents, grand- parents, and sister. Mom said "we would do anything to set her free; nothing worked". Now it's "overwhelmingly positive". This interview highlights the reality that in most cases one to one counseling with a young child with selective mutism is unproductive. Think about it. The child has no initiative (motivation) for healing, and the therapist most often goes into enabling mode when the child is mute in session. (Of course there’s an exception to every rule). The Berent Treatment Method utilizes the leverage of the parents to nurture the child through the complex, insidious, and ingrained avoidance-dependence dynamic.

When considering treatment for social and performance anxiety thoughtful evaluation would say that a model adapted to the specific needs of this specific anxiety is productive rather than trying to fit the condition into rigid restrictive existing models; most noticeably the nonsensical promises and absurd research perpetuated by the CBT community. I want to be very clear. Behavior and cognition are very important variables to consider in treatment but if you miss the emotion-physiological connection you are playing the wrong game. A productive model is going to have several tools. Since 1978 one of the tools that I have integrated into therapy is the utilization of mind states. The objective of this podcast is to introduce you to each state.

Think of the last time someone tried to engage your child verbally and there was no response. As a loving parent you want to rescue your child from the stress of this kind of encounter. You probably experienced your own discomfort and anxiety, which typically results in the reflex of rescuing your child (and yourself) by talking or thinking for the child. The “freeze the moment” technique is employed to break the reflex of the child automatically thinking that rescuing will take place. With insight and courage, the mother of this 5 yr. old with selective mutism describes how she managed her own anxiety as a crucial component for non-enabling and healing.

“Mike”, a 26 yr. old ambitious entrepreneur describes his resolution of multiple psychological challenges. With dramatic insight he communicates the impact his special education experience had on his social anxiety and self- esteem. He originally “did not understand what was going on” regarding his panic and anxiety. Before treatment he believed “he was born this way” and there was nothing he could do about it!"

Mom describes how “Jessica” age 12 struggled with selective mutism since age 8. In addition, profound developmental and social challenges were present. “Jessica” developed a system of body language to replace her own voice. Teachers were unable to test for IQ or reading level. She totally shut down with her speech therapist. She was bullied! She took her rage out on Mom who was her “entertainment center”.

This is the perfect interview for people who think and wish that the young child will simply outgrow selective mutism. “Mike”, a 35-year old with SM and social anxiety describes his “avoidance of talking” because he thought “he had nothing to say”. He eventually learned this was not true as his belief and behavior were manifestations of obsessive compulsive disorder . Mike describes how the insidious nature of selective mutsim became a long term addiction to the avoidance of talking. While he was a B + student in high school he did not go to college because of his mutism. His social life was basically non-existent. He was depressed due to overwhelming social anxiety. The story has a happy ending.

"It was like a miracle."

This interview highlights a comprehensive treatment process, which occurred via telephone and skype. The father describes the steps of The Berent Methodology including; productive diagnostics, empowering parenting, “processing”, which is the challenging, but profoundly important task of helping the child identify thoughts, feelings, and reasoning skills at age appropriate levels. This process empowered the social intelligence and social skills of child who was previously "imprisoned" by selective mutism. In addition, the cycle of pharmaceutical intervention is described.

Numerous variables can enable primitive functioning, which is defined as “spending the minimal amount of energy required to sustain a baseline lifestyle”. “Baseline” refers to substantially substandard emotional growth and development. In this case the variables include learning challenges which drove performance anxiety, family distress and divorce, fragmented parenting, and an overall compulsion on the patient’s part to detach from expending brain energy while avoiding responsibilities, and social and career challenges. In addition, unresolved and recycling anger and regae was a toxic dynamic. The patient describes his evolution from the prison of detachment, avoidance, and depression to the point where he was developing motivation for healing.

Welcome. This is Jonathan Berent. I’m going to tell you the real story about social anxiety. You are not going to hear the real story anywhere else. I guarantee you that! This is a deep dive into a complex subject the reality of which remains very misunderstood… so let’s get clinical!

KENDRA age 46, mother of two, is a world renown physician who has headed numerous clinical trials and has saved many lives. She suffered from public speaking anxiety disorder. You may want to listen to her interview which is on the podcast. It’s titled “World Renown Physician Describes Her Cure from Public Speaking Anxiety Disorder”. Mike age 26, a college grad spends most of his life in his room. He doesn’t work, is socially paralyzed, and spends over 100 hours a week with various technology dependencies. His parents walk on “eggshells” for fear of triggering his anger. This has resulted in long- term enabling of what has become an addiction to avoidance.

“I avoided social situations; especially ones where I had to walk in by myself. More and more I made excuses to avoid. I had problems with my relationship. I was depressed”. “Vicki” discusses the process of healing.