In housing over twenty-five-hundred troubled teenagers over the years at our residential program, I’ve discovered that teens want their parents to know something that seems very confusing to Mom and Dad.

It’s true.  Your definition of abnormal is your teen’s definition of normal.

Are you confused by teen culture?  You’re not alone!  Society has changed and is consistently morphing and teen behavior has evolved along with it.

Teens wish their parents knew that they need space to be ‘abnormal.’  Living in this culture may look different than we want.  It’s important that we teach our teens what’s right and wrong but we also need to allow our teens to express their own unique style.

So Mom and Dad, trust your teens to use the tools you’ve given to make godly decisions… even in an “abnormal” setting!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Often you look at a teenage girl wearing a skimpy outfit and you think she’s trying to attract undesirable attention.  But in her mind, she’s thinking something totally different.

In talking with young girls, I’ve found, more often than not, she wasn’t thinking about dressing provocatively.  She just wanted to fit in!  Our culture is obsessed with the sensual… and media influences have pressured girls to dress more seductively than ever.

So the next time your daughter shows up ready for school wearing clothes that raise eyebrows, don’t jump to conclusions.  Explain why you’re uncomfortable with her choice … what others may interpret from her selection … then suggest a good alternative.

Try to understand your teen’s world and the pressures on her.  Help her choose some cool alternative fashions … that don’t compromise her innocence.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: Dean

You can’t stop your teen from getting angry any more than you can stop a volcano from exploding! But there are steps you can take to channel that anger in a healthy way.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston discusses five principles for dealing with anger that deflect drama—and lead to peace.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Attempting conversation with your teen can be like pulling teeth.  You twist, pull and prod … with nothing to show … except a few mumbled words, a little drool, and sense of frustration!

Here’s a question to get the ball rolling with your teen … “What’s one thing you’d like to tell me that you think I should know?” 

Wow.  That’s a doozie.  In housing over twenty-five hundred teenagers in our residential program, I’ve discovered some rather surprising responses.  For example… one teen gave this tender answer:  “I wish my parents knew how much I need them.”  I was floored to hear a struggling teen admit it!

Mom, Dad …  your kids need you.

Take me up on the challenge.  Ask the question.  Maybe it’ll get the ball rolling and you’ll get a painfully honest response.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Are you surprised that your compliant child has grown up to be a rebellious teenager?

When talking with out-of-control teens who were raised in a Christian home, I often hear them say this:  “My parents expect way too much of me.”

Parenting with over-the-top expectations only results in completely deflated teens.  They can’t do it!  I’d like to challenge you to stop a think …

Are your expectations for your child too high?

Is loving an A student easier than loving a C student?

What would it look like for your teen to perform at your high levels?

Check your motives and see if you’re giving your child a reason to rebel.  There’s always time to change … and rebuild the relationship!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Most parents who demand perfection don’t even realize it’s the very cause for the huge dent in their relationship!

I once heard a kid say, “It’s funny to me that we had the most screwed-up family in our whole neighborhood, and our yard was prettier than everyone else’s.  I think it was my parents’ way of pretending that we had it all together.”

Here’s a helpful tip:  Give permission to your kids to be imperfect.  Flawed.

Your teen will relate and respect you when they see you as having both wisdom and imperfection.  And they will feel a sense of connection with you, knowing they aren’t validated by what they do, but who they are.

That dent in your relationship will disappear as you let go of your perfectionism.  Relax.  Nobody’s perfect.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Have you ever expected a police officer to stop you on the freeway and say, “Hey, great job driving!”  No, you constantly look over your shoulder to see if they’re gonna give you a ticket!

As parents, sometimes we come off like highway patrol officers.  We pull alongside our kids, wave them to the side to fine them, issue warrants and take them into custody.

Our intentions are to instruct and guide our teens, but to them it can feel like we’re right on their tails with red lights flashing.

When communicating with our teens, it’s important we instruct and nurture them as parents, not just officers of the law.  Check yourself to see how you’re coming across to your teen.

You don’t want to be the cop in the family.  You want to be the parent.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Have you ever been caught in a raging storm?  Often, it’s those sudden downpours that catch us off guard and leave us miserably soaked.

Anyone who’s raised a family has been surprised by the occasional dark clouds or the sudden outbursts of emotion.  The storm inside the house is often far worse than the rainfall outside the house.

So, Mom, Dad … when the tornado strikes … wait it out.  Look for ways to be a shelter for your family.  A safe harbor in the storm.  You can set a positive tone, even when the winds of adversity blow strong.  You can make the choices now that will lead your family to safety later.

So how about it?  Are you ready to hunker down and survive the storm?

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: Caleb

Does every Sunday turn into a battle between you and your teen about going to church? Perhaps you’re wrestling with forcing them to go—or just letting them have their way.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers sound advice for weary parents to engage differently and find a resolution that works for everyone.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

I hear this complaint from parents on a regular basis.  When kids are spinning out of control, they say … “My spouse isn’t stepping up to discipline our teen!”

When your teen is struggling, it’s easy for your child to pit you against your spouse.  So here’s a key to avoiding destruction in your marriage.  Ready?  Don’t expect your spouse to change.  You’ll only be disappointed if you do.  And that’ll only pour more gasoline on the fire already raging in your home!

The only person you can control is you.   Find ways to become stronger, healthier and happier.  Focus on changing yourself.

Living with a struggling teen is the perfect opportunity to re-engineer your own contentment.  While looking for a family change, start with you.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.