Student Story: Abe

Everyone knows how to add and subtract. But do you know how to solve the problem of being too strict or too permissive with your teen? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston demonstrates how subtracting one impulse and adding a new parenting strategy can total up to more balanced exchanges with your teen.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

When a teenager is causing problems in the family, he isn’t the only one in need! Moms and dads desperately need support, as well.

In the heat of relentless family conflict, most moms and dads become battered, worn down, or even devastated. In fact, a teen spiraling out of control can lead to the break up of an otherwise strong marriage.

I’ve known lots of parents who are dying on the inside, but are too embarrassed to reveal their weaknesses to others. If that’s you, get over it! You gotta talk to someone! Get coffee with a trusted friend and spill out your heart.

Or, if you know someone who’s struggling with a hurting teen, invite them over. Make it a safe place to talk about their stuff. You don’t have to become a counselor or therapist. In fact, don’t give advice, just listen.

Your simple gesture of kindness will bring immeasurable hope and strength to a friend in need.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

There’s no perfect formula for bringing a teenager to maturity. But, there are three ingredients that’ll give you a good head start!

First. Unconditional Love lets them know there’s nothing they can do to make you love them more, and nothing they can do to make you love them less.

Second. Grace gives them room to fail, and then encouragement to learn from their mistakes.

And third. Truth is the correcting influence that balances their actions with what’s right and wrong. Living out the truth also means that consequences come when they step over the line!

Love, grace and truth. Take those three, flood your home and relationships with them. It’s the foundation for raising healthy, godly and mature young adults.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Teens do a lot of empty-headed communicating, especially by cell phone, IM, Facebook and text. In fact, it’s not unusual to see a group of teens sitting in the same room, sending text-messages to one another, instead of just having normal conversations!

Yeah, this new generation knows how to communicate, and they have every device imaginable to stay in touch. BUT they don’t always know how to make a personal connection. It’s not something they’ll learn, unless you make a point to teach them.

So open your home for an evening of food and fun, playing board games, creating something, or just talking. Challenge them to leave their cell phones in their pockets.

Look for ways to model for your teen the value of connecting with friends and family, without defaulting to their electronics.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

In order for parents to have a healthy relationship with their teen, it’s necessary to create a safe harbor where healthy relationships can develop. So, does your child sense your unconditional love?

Relationships thrive in an atmosphere of unqualified acceptance. That means, even when your child blows it big time, or doesn’t respond the way you’d like, you don’t threaten to abandon him. He knows, without question, that your love is forever.

Every teen has a secret longing to belong. He wants a relationship that helps him discover who he is, and who he’ll become. Your child realizes this sense of significance through relationships that will never end, first with you, here on earth, and with God for all of eternity.

So, are you creating space for healthy relationships? Make your home a safe harbor from the storms of life.

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Everyone has those moments when they don’t handle things well, and even the best parent loses it once in awhile. But if losing your cool has become the new normal, maybe it’s time to hit the pause button, and get some help.

Ephesians 6:4 says, Fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath. When a parent provokes their teen to the point of exasperation, it’s like pouring gasoline on a smoldering fire. Furthermore, a parent’s verbal barbs inflict wounds that are deep. In fact, your angry outbursts may leave scars on your teen for years to come.

So here’s a challenge to you today. The next time something conflict occurs and you can feel your blood begin to boil, take a moment to gather yourself. And take this time- tested advice. It comes straight from the wisdom of Scripture: Don’t provoke your children to wrath.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Guest: Tim Kimmel

When tension at home builds and the temperature rises, how can parents defuse a pending explosion? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston paints a picture of what “grace” looks like when it operates within the bounds of healthy family dynamics. Discover just how far grace can go toward promoting continued peace!

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

When was the last time you humbled yourself, and spoke those two giant words, I’m sorry?

I once witnessed an entire family break down and sob when the father asked each member to forgive him for the way he’d handled himself in their relationship. He extended the olive branch with intensity and emotion.

It was a humble, sincere apology, and a good step toward restoring his position with his children. Every heart in the room melted, and anger and resentment began to lift.

I challenge you to take the dad’s example. Do you need to admit responsibility for building walls in your family? For contributing to miscommunication? It’s time to start steering your home in the right direction, and fostering respect in those you love.

Your teen may seem like a fortress with high walls and a locked gate. Impenetrable. But seeking forgiveness may unlock the door to his or her heart. Just say those two powerful words… I’m sorry.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

There’s nothing more destructive to your relationship with your child than constant lecturing.

Whenever conflict occurs, if your knee-jerk reaction is to lecture, you’re communicating that you don’t think your teen can think for himself. And if you condemn him for his mistakes, you’re actually reinforcing that you don’t really respect him.

That’s not your intent, but it’s what your child is hearing.

So what can be done? Well, stop lecturing and start listening. In fact, start today! Right now, even. Try it for a day. Don’t flip out, argue or lecture. Button up your lips. Just let it go. It’ll take a lot of discipline on your part, but you may discover it’s just what your teen needs.

Then watch what happens. Before long, your teen will return the favor and start listening to you!

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Let me ask you a question. Are you content with whatever your teen wants to do with his or her life?

Teens often feel that they can’t live up to their parents’ expectations. In their mind, it’s just impossible, even if your hopes are totally reasonable.

So let me ask the question again. Will you be authentically content with whatever they tell you they want to do in life? After all your hard work to get them where you think they need to be, will you be happy if they decide to pursue something other than your personal preference?

It’s wise to begin talking about expectations, both from your perspective, and from your teen’s point of view. Develop a heart for your teen’s desires, even if it’s not what you’d prefer. It’s the key to keeping your relationship with your child authentic, growing and healthy.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.