Parenting Today's Teens

We’ve all grown wiser from our mistakes and failures over the years. But unfortunately, there’s no short cut for our kids.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Yep, in most cases … our teens cannot truly grow up until they feel the painful consequences of their own failures.

We shouldn’t be so shocked when our kids made a dumb mistake. All of us are born with an infinite capacity to mess up. Gratefully, God has an infinite capacity to forgive!

So the next time your teen blows it big time … and trust me, there will be a next time … continue to reach out in love. That doesn’t mean you sweep stuff under the carpet and ignore it.

But while you’re cleanin’ up whatever mess they’ve caused, be sure your teen knows you’re ready to forgive.

When your teen messes up big time … what in the world do you say?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Well, Mark Twain said, choose your words carefully! He said, “The difference between the exact right words and the almost right words is like the difference between lightning bugs and lightning bolts.”

Hey, it’s easy to love your teen when everything’s going well. But it’s a whole lot different when they bust your rules, trounce over your boundaries, and still have the audacity to ask you for cash.

So the next time your teen makes a royal blunder, don’t say something that’ll jeopardize your relationship. Don’t resort to toxic remarks and judgment.

Instead, tell your teen exactly what he needs to hear: “There's nothing you can do to make me love you more, and nothing you can do to make me love you less.”

In 1988, I worked for a wonderful ministry in Branson, Missouri. I thought things were going great … until out of nowhere came these three words: “Mark, you’re fired!”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Later that week, one of my dear friends said to me, “Mark, this is going to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.”

Now, that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me at the time. But today, I can look back and see the silver lining. If I never lost that job … I would have never founded Heartlight Ministries!

So if you’re feeling defeated or lost or hopeless today, you may not understand why. But the struggle with your teen is part of God’s plan.

This season of testing could be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.

The late Rodney Dangerfield’s “I don’t get no respect” jokes were pretty funny. But it’s no laughing matter when a teenager is disrespectful toward his parents.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

While it’s true that you can’t force your child to respect you … treating someone with respect is an entirely different matter.

Showing respect is a conscious decision … regardless of whether you like someone or not. And expecting our teens to be respectful should have nothing to do with how they feel at the moment.

So if your teen’s been showing signs of disrespect, let him know that things are gonna be different from now on. The longer you wait to address the problem, the worse it will become.

Requiring respect now will teach your teen to apply civil behavior in all areas of life.

Teenagers are known for being angst-filled and moody. But in some cases, a teen’s persistent negativity may be a sign of a bigger issue. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston explains how to spot signs of depression in teens—and what moms and dads can do to help.

Years ago, I heard a man on the radio that I’ve been a fan of all my life. My good friend Chuck Swindoll said: “I want three simple words on my gravestone … ‘Dad was fun!’”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

I gotta tell ya, I was a little surprised! I thought Swindoll would prefer something profound … like, “America’s beloved preacher.” Maybe a testament to his spiritual depth, or his amazing provision as a dad.

And here’s one of the most godly men I’d ever known talking about how he wanted to be remembered for his playfulness.

Since then, I’ve come to realize that laughter is another form of worship. So take a page out of Chuck Swindoll’s book. Have some fun. Loosen up a little. Tell a joke!

Nothing will bring a quicker connection with your teen than sharing a good laugh!

While I applaud parents who put child locks on TV channels and safeguards on the Internet … the reality is that kids can and do access inappropriate content elsewhere.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

More than ever, parents and teens need to have frank discussions about things like drugs, sex and alcohol. Surprise your teen by cutting to the chase. You may think such topics are uncomfortable and inappropriate. But that won’t stop kids from the talking at school, texting each other, and posting things online.

So stop trying to completely shelter your teen from worldly influences.

Believe me when I say it doesn’t solve the long-term challenge! Rather, start training your child to guard his heart. The rewards will be rich as you watch him develop into a responsible, godly young man.

In grade school, it starts with kids making up wild stories while keeping their fingers crossed behind their backs. But as time goes on, many teens fall into a deeper pattern of lying, cheating, and intertwining the truth with fiction.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Kids lie for the same reasons as adults … to lift themselves up, to get ahead, or to protect themselves and avoid consequences. What they rarely realize is that this short-term solution … often leads to long-term problems.

So if lying has become a way of life for your teen, don’t think it’ll just go away over time. Mom, Dad, confront fibbing while you still can! Don’t let them get away with bending the truth. Otherwise, you may be dealing with even bigger issues in the years to come.

Lying, aggression, anger, mood swings, new friends, changes in sleep patterns … all of these are red flags that your teen may be abusing drugs.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

When I was growing up, parents didn’t worry about drugs until their teens got to high school. But these days, kids are beginning to experiment at younger and younger ages.

So, if you’ve got a hunch about your teen’s behavior, don’t be afraid to administer a drug test every few weeks, unannounced. Even if they squeal in protest!

Your teen needs need to know how serious you are about keeping drugs out of their life … even if it means putting them in rehab or reporting them to the authorities.

Better a few days behind bars than a lifetime in the grip of drugs.

What if every time you got pulled over for a speeding ticket … the cop just let you off the hook? Or whenever you missed a credit card payment … they never charged you any late fees?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Now, that might sound like a dream come true to you. But the fact is … rules and consequences become completely ineffective unless they’re carried out!

So if you’re trying to curb your teen’s misbehavior, start by laying down some boundaries. Then, the next time he crosses the line … be a man or woman of your word … and follow through!

Will your teen test you? Absolutely. So be prepared to stand your ground. He may grumble and complain now … but one day, he will thank you.