Parenting Today's Teens

Parents who’ve been divorced often ask me this question: “What should I do when my ex enforces different rules with the kids?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Maintaining consistency in your teen’s life can be a challenge, especially if she spends part of her week somewhere else. But be careful not to change the boundaries, rules, and consequences in your own home just to make it a more attractive place to be. You should always keep your child’s best interests at heart, regardless of what your ex does or doesn’t do.

Remember, kids are resilient in these situations. As your teen grows older, she’ll gravitate toward the parent she believes wants the best for her. And one day, she’ll look back and thank you for helping her get to a better place.

I grew up in a rigid household. Not a lot of room for making mistakes. Do you have some tough memories, too?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

When I was growing up, it was Dad’s way or the highway. He was a drill sergeant. Keep your room squeaky clean. Yes sir. No sir. Don’t cuss. Never be late. And speak only when you’re spoken to.

Don’t get me wrong. Respect ran high. But our relationship suffered under dad’s rule.

Well, the older I get, the more I understand his motives. I have disappointments. But he’s made me the man I am today. And I’m constantly reminded that God can bring good out of any situation.

Yours, too. We don’t need to live like victims! And no matter how bad things got in your home, God can bring beauty from ashes.

I try not to make promises I can’t keep. But here’s one promise I feel confident enough to make to you today … your teen will mess up!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Sooner or later, something’s bound to happen. She’ll get caught driving too fast … and come home with a speeding ticket. Or he’ll put off studying … and flunk the big history test.

When our teens blow it, we often think that we need to be the consequence. We’ll pull away, retract our love, and give them the cold shoulder. But don’t you think that failing grade or speeding ticket is punishment enough?

The next time your teen messes up, keep loving them while you let the natural consequences do their work. Your love shouldn’t change once your kid messes up. And, believe me, he will mess up!

Too many of today’s parents operate from a place of fear: fear that their kids will make bad choices, hang out with the wrong crowd, or walk away from their faith. And many times, this fear trickles down into the way we raise our teens. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston talks about how to parent courageously, even in the face of fear.

Have you ever wondered what your teen really thinks?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Parents … there’s no need to wonder. Just ask!

The truth is, most teens have a hidden desire to tell their mom and dad what’s really on their mind. But our kids have gotten so used to tweeting and texting that they find it difficult to communicate their emotions in a face- to- face conversation.

So … if you’re willing to help them get started, and you’re ready to hear an honest answer … try asking this question at dinner tonight: “Where do you think I’m lacking as a parent?”

That’ll spark a discussion! And you’ll find out what your teen really thinks. Ready for the challenge? Ask the question and give ‘em an opportunity to share what they’ve been longing to say.

In my decades of working with teens and their families … I’ve met a lot of overzealous and overprotective parents.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Parents don’t pamper their teens because they want to do the wrong thing. In fact, they do it from a heart of love. But it’s so much better to love your teenager in a healthy manner … that allows him to grow up and mature.

Think of it this way: Every decision you make for your daughter is one less decision she has to make for herself. And every day that you keep your son dependent on you is one less day he has to become an independent adult.

Are you an overprotective parent? Quit coddling! It’s time to let go … back off … and let your teen take control.

Looks can be deceiving. And you can’t judge a teen by his behavior any more than you can judge a book by its cover.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Moms and dads have a habit of labeling disobedient kids as rebels. But nine times out of ten, their so- called rebellion is just a natural response to a past or present issue in their life. Unless parents understand the root cause, they won’t be able to stop the behavior and encourage healing within the family.

If you’re the parent of a so-called “rebellious” teen, here’s my question for you: Is your teen’s inappropriate behavior actually rebellion … or the symptom of a deeper issue?

So go beyond what you see and look into the heart of your teen. What looks like rebellion to you … could really be a cry for help.

Parents tend to pour a lot of time and effort into keeping the peace at home. But maybe we need to shift our thinking. Is conflict all that bad?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Mom, Dad … it’s okay to have conflict with your teen as he matures! Did you honestly think you’d never have disagreements … or that he’d never try to question your values?

As your teen becomes independent, he’ll begin to think differently than you do. But as you engage in discussion rather than avoid it, you affirm that you’ll always love him and spend time with him … even when you’re opinions differ.

Hey, who said you needed to have a conflict-free relationship? God grants peace even in the imperfection … and brings strength through the process.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a great big “undo” button that would completely erase all of your parenting mistakes?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Unfortunately, no such button exists. But perhaps if we stopped repeating the mistakes that other parents have made, we wouldn’t need an undo button in the first place.

Think about it. There are generations upon generations of moms and dads that have come before us. And they’ve faced many of the same issues you’re struggling with today.

So here’s your homework assignment. Sit down with a few veteran parents and ask them this question: “If you could do this parenting thing all over again, what would you do differently?”

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. And taking their regrets to heart might keep you from repeating their mistakes.

Today’s “anything goes” culture is cultivating confusion among teens about sexual identity. Kids are encouraged to act on their feelings and express their “true self.” So, how should moms and dads react if their child is experimenting with same-sex relationships? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston gives parents helpful tools to discuss homosexuality with teens in a sensitive and loving manner.