Parenting with Gratitude™

Parenting with gratitude is much deeper than making a list. It starts there, of course, but you can add many other simple acts to established routines that will enhance your self-growth journey. In this episode, we talk about a few that apply directly to our parent/child relationships.

If you are curious about the "Broaden and Build Cycle", positive emotion research done by Barabara Fredrickson, listen to Episode 13 here.

Otherwise, if you are ready for a bit more support, join the 90-Day Gratitude Challenge, which is totally free and available on parentdifferently.com.

Professor Emmons's book The Little Book of Gratitude goes deeper into the ARC model, which is referenced in this episode, or gratitude's ability to: Amplify, Rescue, and Connect.

And James Clear's book is called Atomic Habits and in which he says:"We do not rise to the level of our goals but fall to the level of our systems."

Save the Date for the 'Parent's Day of Rest' on December 21st, when parents all over the country will pause and take the day to themselves right amid the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Follow along for more gratitude and parenting:

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Buy my bedtime book: "The Middle of the Night Book "here.

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

You deserve a pep talk - but not one where someone tells you only to feel your positive or comfortable emotions. We will gain some perspective with a visualization practice which hopefully can help with some of that holiday stress. And we talk a bit about what is called: "Benefit Finding," too.

Save the Date for the Parents' Day of Rest which we celebrate every year on December 21st - it's a day to do what YOU want and set the kid stuff aside. Maybe you will make your favorite cookies or watch your favorite movie, whatever you do not wrap presents and use the day for a deliberate pause before the final chaos of the season.

You can find all our episodes on the blog at parentdifferently.com and read this episode as a blog post right here.

More on the "Benefit Finding" study with chronically ill children can be found here. And Kelly McGonigal's Book "The Upside of Stress" is found here. Here is her quote from the episode:

"To my ears, benefit finding sounds like the kind of positive thinking that tries to scurry away from the reality of suffering: Let's look on the bright side so we don't have to feel the pain or think about the loss…But despite my own allergic reaction, this research doesn't suggest that the most helpful mindset is a Pollyannish insistence on turning everything bad into something good. Rather it's the ability to notice the good as you cope with things that are difficult. In fact, being able to see both the good and the bad is associated with better long-term outcomes than focusing purely on the upside…Looking for the good in stress helps most when you are also able to realistically acknowledge whatever suffering is also present."

Follow along on for more gratitude and parenting:

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Buy my bedtime book: "The Middle of the Night Book "here.

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

Perfect Mother or Happy Human? You decide. Parenting can be a self-growth journey or a puzzle we struggle to solve. Parenting with intention asks us to make that choice - to look at our experience and ask ourselves: Is this working? And what do I really want?

References in this Episode Include:

Jack Kornfield's baby blessing: "You now have a live-in Zen Master - they are here to help you grow."

Dan Harris and the Toilet Bowl Vortex, featured in his TEDtalk - here.

Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Buy my bedtime book: "The Middle of the Night Book "here.

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

Obstacles to parenting with gratitude continue with comparison and cynicism. Anything that divides us makes us unhappy. Connection, creativity, and growth all come from community. We talk about the fantastic effects positive emotions have to "broaden and build" your perspective, and we talk about that cycle which positive psychology OG Barabara Fredrickson is responsible for uncovering through her research.

References in this Episode Include:

What is Neuroplasticity?

Barbara Fredrickson's definition of positive emotions defined as: "multicomponent response tendencies that last a short period of time" (Fredrickson, 2001)

Dan Harris' TEDTalk "The Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself"

And his quote: "Self-love is not selfish if it makes you better at loving other people."

What is a loving-kindness practice?

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Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Buy my bedtime book: "The Middle of the Night Book "here.

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

It's time to ask your kids for help with your gratitude practice! This super simple and easy-to-implement activity introduces the skills necessary to store gratitude more directly in the memory portion of your brain. PLUS, I include one bonus game, perfect for road trips, that your kids will love too.

References in this episode include:

The Little Book of Gratitude by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D.

SNVTA, which stands for substantia nigra/ ventral segmentation.

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Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

Researchers have found that three main personality traits keep us from feeling gratitude: Ego, Cynicism, and Resentment.

Yes, many parents possess these personality traits! This episode focuses on Ego and Awkwardness, which dig into parents' obstacles when pursuing a more grateful life. Are Thank You notes a skill we should be teaching our children? And what about us? How can we stay humble in a culture filled with entitlement and instant gratification?

Download the free gratitude mantra at ParentDifferently.com - subscribe to the Podcast and share with a friend, please! And if you leave a review, screenshot it, and send me a DM, I have a surprise for you.

Research referenced in Episode 11:

The basic definition of gratitude from Prof Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough is a two-step process: 1) "recognizing that one has obtained a positive outcome" and 2) "recognizing that there is an external source for this positive outcome."

Awkward Gratitude Letter Writing is a study called "Undervaluing Gratitude," by Amir Kumar and Nick Epley.

The long-lasting effects of sending a gratitude letter research by Prof Emmons.

"Thieves of Thankfulness: Traits that inhibit Gratitude," a 2016 study at Eastern Washington University by Solomon, Watkins, McCurrach & Scheibe.

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Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

So many families struggle with sleep – and let's be real, moms suffer the most sleep exhaustion. My guest Yasmin Johnston shares her story from not being able to enjoy the newborn years to what recommends for kids who get up during the night – and more! We talk about all aged children in this episode, from babies to 5 and 6 years old.

Ask your parenting question on parentdifferently.com, and I will invite a guest onto the show to answer it.

Yasmin Johnston is a certified pediatric sleep consultant, you can learn more about her services at Mindful Sleep Consulting and on Instagram. She is a co-author of the "Postpartum Mental Health Guide" book and a mom of two.

Looking for a mindful bedtime book? Try The Middle of the Night Book, authored by host Stef Tousignant.

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Have you shared the podcast with a mom friend yet? Please do.

Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

Let's talk timing in this episode: how often is "enough" when practicing gratitude and other things you can do to stay on track. Parenting with gratitude gets easier over time - learn 3 simple ways to stick with it through the daily demands of modern parenting. Also, I share a big secret that I shouldn't tell you, but I do…

Gratitude can save your motherhood – Join the free 90-day gratitude challenge at parentdifferently.com or check out that exclusive podcast swag and download the latest Gratitude Mantra for free – no email required.

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"Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change" study by Lyubomirskky, Tkach, and Sheldon (2004) asked students to perform five acts of kindness per week over 6 weeks, either all five acts in 1 day or five acts spread over the week.

"There will be days when you feel like doing anything other than finding reasons to be grateful, but pushing through these days will empower you and help you build the strength and resilience necessary to push through other challenges." - says Jason Marsh, the executive director of The Greater Good Science Center at Cal Berkeley

Lillian Jans Beken and Paul T.P Wong - Study on Existential Gratitude here.

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Have you shared the podcast with a mom friend yet? Please do.

Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com

What does a snowstorm have to do with mindfulness? And can gratitude make you a more mindful parent? What if it was easier to get started on your mindfulness journey?

These questions are all answered in this episode – and if you are looking for the secret promo code for the exclusive podcast swag, you may find it in this episode too.

Head to parentdifferently.com where you can check out that exclusive podcast swag and download the latest Gratitude Mantra for free – no email required.

Have you shared the podcast with a mom friend yet? Please do.

Follow along on

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here: https://endsandstems.com/

This episode starts with a Pep Talk you can listen to if you think your mothering doesn't feel good enough. And then we talk about the systems that keep us on track when we have a bad day; what do you lean on when things don't go well? What will help you to get out of the 'Bad Mom' Cycle? Try the list Stef suggests in the episode.

James Clear quote from Atomic Habits:

"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems…Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there."

There is NEW Gratitude Mantra out this week made into wallpaper for your phone or tablet and always free with no email required at parentdifferently.com

Here's Stef's list:

• Wake up a bit earlier, nothing crazy, just like 5 minutes earlier. (Courage)
• Write down 10 things you are grateful for - this trains your brain away from the negativity bias. (Gratitude)
• Remind yourself your children don't know your past traumas or the emotional burdens you may carry. (Equanimity)
• Then remind yourself that they are new to this planet. (Empathy)
• Go through your day and observe your children with the same awe and wonder they observe the world. (Joy and Delight)
• Start saying out loud the nice things that are already in your head. (Affirmations)
• Begin noticing when you're upset and what your expectations are at that moment. (Mindfulness)
• Before you go to bed, go into your children's rooms and look at their sleeping faces. Wish them well, and feel your love for them intensely throughout your whole body. (Compassion)
• Mentally list 3 things you're grateful for as you get into bed. (Courage)
• Remind yourself of one thing that went well during the day. (Self-Reflection)

Don't forget to leave a review and DM me on social for your free swag!

👉 Follow along on:

👉Instagram

👉TikTok

👉Youtube

Subscribe and share so you can ALL listen as a parenting expert and author, Stef Tousignant, offers you a sneak peek into her journey to normalize imperfect parenting and discover the gifts a committed gratitude practice can bring to modern family life.

Parenting with gratitude is not the end goal - it's the method. 🎟 It's the means to achieving the goal of parenting differently.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you were raised.

🎧 Listen to this podcast if you want to parent differently than you did 5 years ago.

Our fantastic and giggly intro was provided by the kids of my good friend Alison Montford of Ends and Stems, a family meal planning and food waste expert. More about her here.