Parity Podcast

In this episode, Tracy J. Edmonds, the author of Wild Hair and the owner of TJE Coaching and Consulting, explains how authenticity can disrupt gender bias, help us connect with others, and transform women into more effective and visible leaders.

Subscribe! Time-stamped show notes are below.

Intro

1:20 Tracy J. Edmonds is a mom, coach, consultant, and author of Wild Hair

Episode Breakdown

1:55 In today's episode we discuss:

1. What is authenticity and how do we discover who we are
2. How does authenticity impact leadership, working moms, vulnerability, and workplace culture
3. How does authenticity relate to each element of the Parity Prescription and practical advice for listeners striving to be authentic at work

Who is Tracy J. Edmonds?

2:35 Recovering corporate soldier, 31 year corporate veteran, former Chief Diversity Officer of Fortune 500 company

2:53 Pivoting to entrepreneurship and unlearning in order to chart a new path

3:00 Now coaches women and offers diversity consulting - TJE Coaching & Consulting, LLC

What is authenticity?

3:30 Important for women to be authentic but it is challenging in male-dominated organizations and industries

4:00 Definitions of authentic, Webster's definition

4:12 Authenticity is also being true to yourself

4:40 We all have different lived experiences and being true to ourselves is different for each of us

How do we discover our own authenticity?

5:15 Discovering your own authenticity is challenging

5:30 Don't assume that you know who you are

5:54 We are often defined by expectations of others

6:16 Discovering your own authenticity is a journey and takes time

6:20 4 principles of authenticity

1. Self honesty - look internally about who you are and what you want
2. Courage - how do you put your fear in action
3. Confidence - have a healthy respect for who you are and your abilities
4. Resilience - stay the course over a lifetime

7:50 Tracy's motivation to write Wild Hair

8:55 Tracy's moments of dissonance or disagreements between her authentic self and what was expected of her

9:15 Tracy straightened her hair for many years

10:25 As the Chief Diversity Officer, she decided to make a change and wear her hair naturally - this was Tracy's "wild hair moment"

10:55 Tracy's actions were freeing for many women, particularly Black women

11:50 Too much emphasis on women's appearances and impact of COVID

12:45 COVID created chaos but that gives us the opportunity to make change

How does authenticity impact leadership, working moms, vulnerability, and workplace culture?

14:40 People rate women highly on leadership skills but men recieve more leadership roles

15:00 Authentic leadership can help women be seen inside organizations and disrupt unconscious bias

15:45 Women don't need to check the box for all requirements to lean in and seek leadership opportunities

17:00 It is empowering for women to think about:

1. What is it that I do that no one else can?
2. What makes me unique?
3. What impact can I make through what I have and what I do?

18:30 Increased focus on mothers due to COVID

19:05 Understanding your own authenticity can help you navigate motherhood/parenthood

19:45 Story of woman preparing for maternity leave

20:55 Greatest challenge is when we're out of integrity with ourselves (ie, working instead of attending a baseball game or vice versa)

21:40 Easy for us to "lose ourselves" as we struggle to keep up with work and personal life

23:10 Navigating careers and work-life balance is easier when there are male allies providing support

23:42 Importance of vulnerability in being authentic

24:50 Only be vulnerable when it adds value - being overly vulnerable or giving TMI can be harmful

25:30 Underrepresented groups have more on the line than others so we need to be careful about vulnerability

26:23 Being authentically vulnerable can create authentic connections

28:23 Tips for being vulnerable:

1. Always add value when seeking new connections
2. Give context to your story
3. Speak a universal truth

30:35 When is it time to leave your job? Consider, what are your goals/values and can your organization help you meet those goals/values

30:45 Changing culture is challenging to execute and takes time

34:20 Maya Angelou quote: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

34:25 Great Resignation: We can't unsee what we saw and unlearn progress like acceleration of digitization and success of WFH.

36:33 COVID caused us to reprioritize our lives

37:02 Work is an activity and not a place

How does authenticity relate to each element of the Parity Prescription and practical advice for listeners striving to be authentic at work?

38:50 The Parity Prescription is:

Stop Trying to Change Women

Create Diverse Teams

Recognize Unconscious Bias

Intentionally Include

Partner with Men as Allies

Talk About the Issues

39:27 How can women resist the very real pressure to conform?

40:45 Many women feel pressure to conform - don't work where you are "less than" or must conform, but have a plan before walking out the door

42:00 When women are on boards and in senior leadership roles, organizations have better financial outcomes

42:27 Men can be terrific allies and are often those men with daughters or who are married to BIPOC women

43:10 Tips to detect pressure to conform

44:40 We all show up in different ways and leaders don't always look the same

45:00 Example of woman who conformed and modeled the behavior of men to get to the top but it took her 2x as long as her male peers

46:25 Women experience unconscious bias in different ways

47:18 Black women have additional unconscious biases to navigate - intersectionality is a challenge

48:18 Trust can be a challenge for women at work

50:30 Story of how authenticity can disrupt unconscious bias

52:57 Practical tips to increase inclusion

1. Remember that the world is bigger than your backyard
2. Work with different people
3. Make sure the introverts have space to speak up on calls
4. Be willing to be vulnerable
5. Have a learning mindset

56:18 Effective male allies need to be vulnerable and admit that they don't know everything; reflect on times when they were in a group, didn't fit in, and they knew it.

59:55 The shadow of top leaders creates culture and they need to set the tone so that it is ok to talk about the issues

Where You Can Find Us

Website: www.par-ity.com

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn

Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick

Today's Guest: Tracy J. Edmonds

Email [email protected] with questions or comments

Women receive mixed messages to be authentic but also to conform, fall in line, fit in. It's a challenging tightrope to walk but we have solutions. In this episode, learn how to discover your own authenticity, and then how to FLEX so that you can contribute at work in a way that reflects who you are.

Subscribe! Time-stamped show notes are below.

Intro

2:10 Women are told to be authentic but also to conform

2:29 We need to stop trying to change women

3:00 Mixed signals start at birth

5:05 Girls are trained to smile, be pleasant, play well with others

6:00 Sometimes we don't know who we are

Episode Breakdown

6:19 In today's episode we will discuss:

1. What is authenticity and what are tips for you to best discover who you are
2. Why is authenticity at work critical
3. How can you navigate between being authentic and the pressure to conform or fit in

6:40 Tracy J. Edmonds author of Wild Hair

Tips to Discover Your Authenticity

9:20 Definitions of authentic

Webster's definition

10:35 Uncover authenticity by asking

• who or what you trust
• what you cherish
• what brings meaning and purpose to your life
• what gives you peace

Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads

12:45 (Cathy), 16:12 (Deborah) Who or what you trust answers

18:22 (Deborah), 19:50 (Cathy) What do you cherish answers

22:20 (Cathy), 24:40 (Deborah) What brings meaning and purpose to your life answers

28:25 (Deborah), 29:28 (Cathy) What gives you peace answers

30:46 (Cathy), 32:05 (Deborah) 3 characteristics or values

35:05 Strengths Finder by Tom Rath

35:30 Women have to prove themselves over and over again

How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women

Why Authenticity Matters at Work

36:36 Inauthenticity akes you feel uncomfortable

36:58 Story of friend rated poorly because she was being authentic

38:15 ⅓ employees feel pressure to conform

How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin

38:30 Examples are:

-parents downplay importance of parenting

-employees won't wear clothing reflecting their religion

-people stay silent on social justice issues

-people don't speak up about inequity or workplace microaggressions

38:58 We learn when to smile, frown, nod

How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin

39:27 Being authentic improves marketing skills

How to Express Authenticity - Flexing

40:20 What is flexing

40:38 Tips for those early in career

40:52 Tips for interviews

41:40 Using authenticity to nudge culture in the right direction

42:01 Examples:

-Don't like sports

-Social justice issue matters to you

-Challenges with parenting

42:28 Tip for allies

42:45 Flex through vulnerability

42:50 What is vulnerability

Books by Dr. Brene Brown

43:30 Dr. Brene Brown 2010 Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability

43:44 Vulnerability births innovation, creativity, change

Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change by Dr. Brene Brown

44:35 Importance of:

Sharing new ideas at work

Disagreeing with someone at work

Admitting that you made a mistake

46:36 Risks of flexing authenticity

47:40 Leaders should model authenticity

48:20 Parity in Play

48:34 Afghan women and girls

CSIS article

48:54 Girls barred from secondary school

BBC article

49:10 Unconscious bias in the US

How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women

Unconscious Bias: Hidden Forces Undermining Women at Work

Where You Can Find Us

Website: www.par-ity.com

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn

Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick

Contributor: Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads

Email [email protected] with questions or comments

Juggling work and motherhood is a bone-weary challenge unless you're Wonder Woman. While women's skills grow after becoming mothers, we often face biases that stall careers. The pandemic made the situation more dire but now is a golden opportunity to find solutions with the Parity Prescription.

Subscribe! Time-stamped show notes are below.

Intro

00:27 Time for gender parity increased from 100 to 135 yrs; COVID widened the gender gap, CNBC

5:23 Need workplace support; Unfinished Business by Anne Marie Slaughter

Unique Skills of Working Moms

8:29 Skills grow; Modern Family Index; Why Mothers Make Excellent Employees, DiversityQ

12:42 Skills developed as mothers

13:35 Remain calm under pressure

14:29 Improve communication skills

14:50 Hone negotiation skills

15:10 Improve creativity

Biases Against Mothers

16:19 50% believe mothers are less committed to work; Modern Family Index

17:54 Mothers MORE devoted

18:25 Won't "half-ass" my job - kids are watching

19:08 Sleep deprived v. less interest

20:00 Moms lose opportunities

20:15 'She won't have time'

20:37 "Benevolent" leaders harm careers

20:42 Fathers face bias too

21:15 Women judged for flex schedules; Modern Family Index

21:32 Motherhood biases + regular biases against women; How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women, Parity Podcast (Apple); How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women, Parity Podcast (Spotify); Unconscious Bias: Hidden Forces Undermining Women at Work

12:03 Boss not supportive

22:20 Will mother return to work?

23:44 Miscarriage, morning sickness, breast pumping at work

25:02 Common questions causing guilt

27:44 Child crying on Zoom

28:30 Opportunities given to less qualified employees; The Wage Gap is Wider for Working Mothers; The Hazard of the Motherhood Penalty

29:16 Mothers MORE ambitious; For mothers in the workplace, a year (and counting) like no other, McKinsey

30:44 Women do more housework; Mothers' Careers Are At Extraordinary Risk Right Now, Atlantic Monthly

32:01 Work culture; 8 Signposts of Cultures Where Women Thrive, Parity Podcast (Apple); 8 Signposts of Cultures Where Women Thrive, Parity Podcast (Spotify)

Impact of COVID

32:56 Job losses; OxFam International

34:10 Women overrepresented in low wage jobs; Women in Low-Wage Jobs are Underpaid and Overloaded, Atlantic Monthly

34:29 Working thru pandemic

36:22 Feeling judged; Mothers' Careers Are At Extraordinary Risk Right Now, For mothers in the workplace, a year (and counting) like no other

Solutions

37:45 Parity Prescription helps; How the Parity Prescription Can Work for You

38:29 Recognize Unconscious Bias; How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women, Parity Podcast (Apple); How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women, Parity Podcast (Spotify); Unconscious Bias: Hidden Forces Undermining Women at Work

39:29 Focus on skills

40:51 Partner with Allies; How Male Allies Can Lean In for Measurable Gains to Achieve Parity, Parity Podcast (Apple); How Male Allies Can Lean In for Measurable Gains to Achieve Parity, Parity Podcast (Spotify)

41:15 Allies at home

44:15 Allies at work

49:19 Talk About the Issues; How to Have Tough Conversations at Work, Parity Prescription (Apple); How to Have Tough Conversations at Work, Parity Prescription (Spotify)

Parity in Play

51:05 Some universities not supportive of women in STEM programs; The Parent Trap: Scholars find antagonism towards motherhood dissuades women from pursuing academic science careers, UC Santa Barbara, July 15, 2021

Where You Can Find Us

Website: www.par-ity.com

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn

Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick

Contributor: Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads

Email [email protected] with questions or comments

Business culture can make or break your career. It's that invisible but ever-present force that determines whether you are seen and heard, welcomed and respected. In this episode, you will learn the eight signposts of a robust culture where women-- and everyone --can thrive.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn.

We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

Emotional Intelligence - understanding ourselves and relating to others - will help us achieve parity. Join us as we interview Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads to learn how to improve your emotional intelligence and how EI helps us implement the Parity Prescription.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn. We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

A majority of people rate women higher than men for leadership skills. Studies show that many of the core competencies necessary for success as a leader are competencies at which women excel. Despite these strengths as leaders, men are more often awarded the coveted positions of power. In this episode, we will explore why and propose 5 steps to promote women into more leadership roles.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn. We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

Women are frequently encouraged to "lean in," but we can only lean in so far before we lose our balance. Men, we need you to lean in as allies and meet us halfway because we cannot achieve parity without you. In this episode, we teach allies how to be effective by being mentors, sponsors, partners, and collaborators with women, and we guide women on how to identify and partner with male allies.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn. We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

Want to talk about gender inequality at work? Having those tough conversations is critical to achieving workplace parity, and in this episode, we will give you a framework so you can consider when and how to start.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn.

We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

In this episode, we will lay out the business case for diversity and inclusion and give you 5 actions steps so that everyone feels welcome, connected, and included in your organization.

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn.

We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!

In this episode, we will examine the science and culture which causes unconscious bias which can make women seem invisible, and we will bust some myths along the way. Spoiler Alert: Women don't talk too much!

You can find the resources that we used for this episode at www.par-ity.com and we would love to hear from you at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, and subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss a single episode.

You can also find the hosts Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick on LinkedIn. We hope to connect with you again soon so that we can make progress with the Parity Prescription!