The PastMaster crew is on summer vacation to recharge the batteries of our time machine. We'll be back at the start of July with adventures to the Wild West, the Battle of Hastings and a disturbing investigation of the occult in 1920s Massachusetts.

Until then, have a great June and see you when we get back!

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PastMaster takes a dark turn as Ryan, Tan, and guest Nick Horseman compete in a 'Death Wish Speed Run' at Port Jackson's newly established penal colony. Using DeepSeek's surprisingly sassy AI as game master, our time travellers attempt increasingly outlandish ways to meet their maker—from attacking guards with rusty spoons to unleashing venomous creatures on colonial officials.

Who will claim the dubious honour of the fastest, most stylish demise in this brutal historical setting?

In 1788, the First Fleet established Britain's initial penal colony at Port Jackson (now Sydney), Australia. Life for convicts was brutal, with harsh punishments, limited rations, and the constant threat of death from disease, violence, or Australia's dangerous wildlife. The colonial outpost represented both Britain's solution to prison overcrowding and the beginning of European settlement in Australia.

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Step back to 1330 and meet the richest person who ever lived - Mansa Musa, with a net worth of $700 billion in today's money! Can Ryan convince this golden emperor to fund humanity's first space mission?

In this wild historical adventure, Ryan transports himself to the heart of the Mali Empire during its golden age. Armed with pocket watches and eyeglasses, he must impress the notoriously wealthy Mansa Musa without getting executed as a witch. But when introducing simple technology succeeds, Ryan gets ambitious: could medieval trebuchet technology launch humans into space? Join us for a hilarious journey through medieval Africa to discover the best way of spending a billionaire's money.

The Mali Empire reached unprecedented wealth under Mansa Musa (1312-1337), controlling West Africa's gold production. His famous hajj pilgrimage to Mecca with 60,000 people caused economic inflation in Egypt that lasted a decade. Timbuktu, the empire's intellectual center, housed the world's largest medieval library with over 700,000 manuscripts. This episode humorously explores what might have happened if modern technological ideas met medieval Mali's vast resources.

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What happens when you replace Asterix's magic potion with cocaine? Risky Dave finds out the hard way when he tries to help a Gallic tribe resist Julius Caesar's invasion in 55 BCE

Inspired by the beloved Asterix and Obelix comics, Tan creates a character named 'Risky Dave' who attempts to help a Gallic village resist Roman occupation. But instead of magic potion, he brings cocaine as 'battle magic.' The results are predictably disastrous as the drug-fueled warriors charge into battle with plenty of energy but zero strategy. When captured by Julius Caesar himself, Risky Dave's increasingly desperate escape attempts involve more drugs. This episode hilariously explores what happens when modern solutions meet ancient problems.

In 55 BCE, Julius Caesar was in the midst of his conquest of Gaul (modern-day France), systematically subduing the Celtic tribes who inhabited the region. His disciplined Roman legions, with their tight formations and superior tactics, proved extremely effective against the often disorganised Gallic resistance. These campaigns would eventually lead to Roman control of the entire region, forever changing the cultural and political landscape of Western Europe.

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Comedian and writer Matthew Crosby steps out of his bathtub time machine to join us on a murder mystery adventure in Victorian London. When mysterious ritual murders start appearing across the city, Matthew is called up to ivestigate.

Posing as French detective 'Inspector Pompidou,' Matthew discovers a satanic cult attempting dark and mysterious deeds in the centre of London. Armed with holy water, a crucifix, and his quick wit, he must infiltrate the cult before darkness consumes Victorian London. GameMaster Claude is on top form in this episode, although the AI seems to have forgotten that this is supposed to be a historical adventure, and introduced some characters who are clearly from the world of fiction.

Set in 1873 London during the height of the Victorian era, this episode imagines a supernatural twist on the period known for industrial progress, social reform, and the expansion of the British Empire. The London Underground had just begun operating a decade earlier, gas lamps illuminated fog-shrouded streets, and the architectural grandeur of buildings like St. Paul's Cathedral and the British Museum stood as monuments to British achievement.

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What if the Trojan Horse...wasn't a horse at all? In this epic battle of wits, Tan and Keon compete to design history's greatest deception at the walls of Troy.

The siege of Troy has dragged on for a decade when our contestants arrive with modern minds but Bronze Age materials. Under the watchful eye of a science-obsessed Game Master (channeling Bill Nye), Tan and Keon's increasingly desperate attempts to create the perfect Trojan deception face the harsh scrutiny of historical accuracy. From titanosaurs that shoot bats to poisonous chocolate fountains, their creative proposals are systematically rejected until they're forced to work within strict Bronze Age limitations.

When the final designs are presented—Tan's reluctantly traditional horse versus Keon's unexpected 'Tree of Peace'—the Trojans make their choice, leading to a surprise conclusion that rewrites the legendary deception we thought we knew.

Set during the legendary Trojan War (around 1200 BCE), this episode explores one of history's most famous military deceptions. After ten years of unsuccessful siege, the Greeks famously constructed a wooden horse to trick the Trojans into bringing armed soldiers within their impenetrable walls. While the historical accuracy of Homer's account remains debated by scholars, the Trojan Horse has become synonymous with the concept of deception throughout Western culture.

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Oh hey girl hey, its the diarrhea service!

That's how to convince a maid in Henry VIII's royal palace that you're just one of the staff and not a time travelling spy on a mission. At least according to Kim and Alice from Fetch The Smelling Salts podcast who are back in PastMaster hot seat this week. Their mission – save Henry VIIIs wives from divorce and beheadings.

Equipped with a smoke machine, Halloween makeup, and their Catholic background, their plan is to infiltrate the castle, gain Queen Catherine's trust and scare the living crap out of Henry VIII to get him to change his ways.

Will it work out?

Tune in and find out.

Follow Fetch The Smelling Salts here

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In this unseen episode, from PastMaster’s darkest vault, rapper and comedian Nick Horseman sets course for Ur in the ancient kingdom of Mesopotamia.

He has one thing on his mind: cause mayhem and achieve Game Over as quickly as possible.

It's a death wish speed run.

Can you play Grand Theft Auto in Mesoptamia? What’s the best way to insult the guard captain’s mother? And how quickly can Horseman be thrown into jail?

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The Thots TV team are back in the hot seat with the most impossible challenge yet. Travelling back to before the Big Bang. Embodying a "heat-resistant" Danny Dyer, can they survive in a place where the rules of physics don't even exist? Plus what would the Garden of Eden have been like? We took a quick trip over their to check out the local boozers.

We also debut Chinese upstart DeepSeek as GameMaster, bringing a unique flavour to proceedings.

Join us for a hilarious journey through creation myths that proves some historical events are best left unaltered – especially when they involve the fabric of reality itself.

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It's a battle for the ages as Keon and Tan go head-to-head in a shocking two-player PastMaster showdown! In this electrifying episode, we travel back to 1890s America to determine the fate of electricity itself during the infamous War of the Currents.

With Keon channeling Nikola Tesla (backed by ChatGPT) and Tan embodying Thomas Edison (powered by Claude), they'll square off in a proper technological tussle that'll make your hair stand on end. Marvel as they deploy utterly mental promotional tactics - from blokes dressed as batteries to dodgy public demonstrations where Edison suggests licking actual batteries to prove DC's safety!

As AC and DC clash for supremacy, so do the AI models controlling the action. Watch Claude punish Tan's ridiculous ideas while ChatGPT becomes the ultimate hype man for Keon's increasingly outlandish schemes. When Tesla starts breakdancing at Edison's party, you know history's gone properly off the rails!

Will Keon's Tesla triumph with his alternating current? Can Tan's Edison convince the public that direct current isn't a complete waste time? And which AI bot proves better at handling historical nonsense? The fate of modern electricity hangs in the balance.

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